Pre-wedding Parties

None of my co-workers showed up to my shower

So I have a weird situation. I invited 10 coworkers to my bridal shower. Only three declined, but on the day of my bridal shower none of them actually showed up. I'm a little annoyed because they kept me aware of the party and said they were all showing up, and they seemed really excited about it, but then to just not show up seems rude, and it is hurtful. Everybody has been quiet at work ever since I have been back to the office and I haven't talked about it. So now I'm not sure if I should bring it up at at all or let it go and ignore the awkwardness. They seem to be coming to the wedding, most already gave me their RSVPs or a verbal rsvp, I'm not sure how to proceed.

the worst part is that my sister said to me that she knew that they wouldn't show up, because they are coworkers and not close friends, and I think she was trying to make me feel better because she said not to let it get to me, but really she shouldn't have even thrown the shower if she didn't wante to invite the people I know.

It was a nice shower, but I'm hurt that soany people didn't show up.

Re: None of my co-workers showed up to my shower

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So I have a weird situation. I invited 10 coworkers to my bridal shower. Only three declined, but on the day of my bridal shower none of them actually showed up. I'm a little annoyed because they kept me aware of the party and said they were all showing up, and they seemed really excited about it, but then to just not show up seems rude, and it is hurtful. Everybody has been quiet at work ever since I have been back to the office and I haven't talked about it. So now I'm not sure if I should bring it up at at all or let it go and ignore the awkwardness. They seem to be coming to the wedding, most already gave me their RSVPs or a verbal rsvp, I'm not sure how to proceed.

    the worst part is that my sister said to me that she knew that they wouldn't show up, because they are coworkers and not close friends, and I think she was trying to make me feel better because she said not to let it get to me, but really she shouldn't have even thrown the shower if she didn't wante to invite the people I know.

    It was a nice shower, but I'm hurt that soany people didn't show up.
    OMG, let it go and stop trying to be such a martyr. Nothing anyone says or does is good enough for you. Was it rude to RSVP and then no show? Sure. But that sentence is totally unnecessary. Don't say anything at work unless you want to destroy your work relationships like you're destroying your personal ones. 


    image
    STARMOON44
  • OP, if you're real then I think you have A LOT of growing up to do.

    And if you talk about your wedding and the plans and how you feel in your office the way you do here on TK I am wondering if your coworkers are rolling their eyes at your behavior.  

    So what I'd do: 
    -Move on.
    -Don't talk about your wedding in the office.   
    -Stick to being cordial and leaving business with business.

    And take the advice already presented by many people here because the way you seem to be behaving is going to leave you alienating people and that's going to hurt you in a big way in both your career and personal life. 
    levioosaInLoveInQueensshort+sassySTARMOON44
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    edited July 2018
    Good eye, ladies!! 

    Shockingly, OP is focusing on things in other people's control and not her own. Who would have thunk?

    ETA - Perhaps your coworkers know you don't actually give a rat's ass about the guests so why show up?
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    InLoveInQueensernursejahoyweddingSTARMOON44
  • MRDCleMRDCle member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Are they all invited to the wedding? Maybe they couldn't get a ride. 
    ahoyweddingSTARMOON44
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    WhoTF invites 10 coworkers to their shower? Your shower is for your close friends and family, not every woman you know.

    Leave it alone. Bringing it up is just going to make it worse. And I get that generally that's your goal, but you need a job.  
    InLoveInQueensahoyweddingSTARMOON44
  • Thanks for the positive responses, I'm very surprised at the negativity and some of the other responses. I invited my co-workers because I get along with them really well, and I've been talking about the wedding, and I didn't know the correct thing to do. I was asked for the guest list so I gave it. All of the co-workers I've invited to the shower would absolutely be invited to the wedding, and they have already responded if they are coming. Sorry I asked, I'm not going to talk about it anymore with my coworkers. The people who matter were there and it was a nice day. It's just hurtful that I thought these were my friends. they seem so excited when they got the shower invitation and they kept asking me questions about the shower and my registry, so I just assumed they were excited about coming.th
  • Do you do things with these coworkers outside work? If not and I got invited to a shower I would decline as well thinking it's a gift grab. Of course, they should have had the manners to do that. 
    charlotte989875short+sassyInLoveInQueensMyNameIsNot
  • It really sucks that 7 people no-showed; that's super rude and that's on them. Personally, I would feel a little awkward going to a coworker's shower unless we were close. In that case, I'd probably stop referring to them as coworker and call them a friend (maybe a small distinction, but in my mind those are different relationships). I would go to a wedding though, because that guest list is larger, and showers are supposed to be for the closest friends & family.

    Don't say or do anything at work that could damage you professionally. It's not worth possibly affecting your career over one day.

    But also, OP, looking at your posts as a whole it seems like you have some growing up to do. You want to be a martyr about this whole thing, everyone is wronging you, you say you want to be low-stress but you're sweating tiny details and blowing of major things. These are things your friends and family may not say to your face, and everyone here is trying to help. I know I posted on one of your threads about a horribly hosted wedding we went to last year that we STILL make fun of on a regular basis. But to that friend's face? It was a lovely day and everything was great. It would break her heart to know how we truly felt, and I'm not about to do that to a friend. Please, please take some of our previous advice into consideration. 
    banana468short+sassyMyNameIsNotcharlotte989875
  • At first I thought this was a work shower and thought WTF... but since it wasn't - don't get caught up in the drama - it's a waste of your time.  Your corporate culture is they don't attend things like showers, it is what it is.  You don't need to understand it, nor like that they didn't show up, you just need to accept it.  Just let that sleeping dog be and move on to the other things you've got to do yet...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • This is why it's best not to mix work with your social life. If you have co-workers who are friends outside of work, great, but it doesn't sound like this was the case.

    I know it hurts to find out that people don't value something as much as you thought they did, but you can't change their minds by bringing it up. You can salvage your pride and hurt feelings by moving forward as if it didn't happen.

    Keep your talk at work professional. Don't mention the wedding. I know it's all consuming when you're planning it, but other people do get tired of hearing about whether you've picked a salsa band or a DJ, or whether your table runners should be stormy blue or ocean blue. If you've been talking about that stuff at work, they may have had enough.

    Your work relationships will have to go on long after you get back from your honeymoon (unless you get laid off, as I did many years ago!), so you need to find a way to move forward.
    short+sassy
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards