Dear Prudence,
I am in love with my boyfriend. He is communicative and loving. He is willing to put in the work to make me happy and make our relationship a success. He is a good person. The issue is that he smokes marijuana and consumes edibles every day, from sunup to sundown. Marijuana gives me panic attacks, so I never participate.
He has a history of childhood trauma and has a medical marijuana card (it’s legal in our state) to help him with PTSD. He is extremely sensitive and defensive about his use. Apparently, it was a big issue between him and his ex. While I’m not a doctor, I suspect his usage goes well beyond what is medically necessary or advised to deal with PTSD. It is starting to bother me that I haven’t spent much time with him sober—do I even know the “real” him? I’ve started to feel resentful and hurt by all this. Is it in my right to talk to him about this? How do I approach it? We’ve been dating for just four months.
—Stoner’s Girlfriend