Hi there! I'm a long time lurker and first time poster--for months I have been learning so much from the wonderful advice on these boards. You have already prevented me from making etiquette blunders and I am extremely grateful and eager for more direction.
We are getting ready to send out save the dates. I am inviting some friends that I made while in grad school in the UK (I'm in the northwest US). Some of them now have partners that they got together with after I moved back, and I have not met them. I of course want to extend an invitation to their partners as well, and I'm wondering if it is appropriate to put the name of my friend and their partner on one STD and send it to the friend's address, even if they do not live together. Or is it more appropriate to find out the partner's address and send a STD directly to them, although they will be getting international mail from a person they have never met?
I would really appreciate some guidance on what is most appropriate in this situation, and making sure that the partners feel included. (As a side note, I also like the idea of sending one STD to both to save a little on international shipping costs, but we'll certainly do what's polite and etiquette-approved.)
Thanks, hit me with your knowledge!
Re: International Invites
I'm sure there are a few people that would side eye invites going to the same address when they don't live together so if you feel like someone you are sending to might be that way, err on the side of caution and send two. Of all the etiquette blunders, I feel like this is a small one that most wouldn't even consider a blunder.
If you do know there are people who may be offended (maybe they don't live together for religious reasons or something), it wouldn't hurt to just ask how they'd prefer to be invited. It likely wouldn't be too many people, so it shouldn't be too cumbersome to send a quick text or email and ask what they'd prefer.
These really aren't a thing in other countries, and even in the US, people don't always realize that they are save the dates, not invitations.