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Wedding Woes
mrsconn23
member
Tell. Your. Son. To. Avoid. His. Property.
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
I live in a friendly, family-oriented neighborhood—or at least it used to be until “X” moved in about two years ago. He is withdrawn, is reclusive, and hates children. He leaves the lights off at Halloween and shouts at any children who knock on his door. He’s lodged several complaints about kids coming into his yard without permission and sent notes to everybody warning that he was not prepared to take on any liability for their safety on his property. He’s had particular difficulty with my 7-year-old son, who seems drawn to his home, and he’s gone from complaining to me to saying horrible things to my child. This runs the gamut from telling him that there is no Santa Claus to a detailed description of the crimes of serial killers to an explanation of how animals are butchered for meat. I’m furious, but X insists that the situation is entirely my fault and has warned that the next time my son steps onto his property he will bring charges. Do I have any recourse here? How do I persuade this angry, unpleasant man that harming a child with words is out of order? And what do I say to my son, who is now having nightmares about serial killers and afraid to cross the street?
—Neighbor Hates My Son
I live in a friendly, family-oriented neighborhood—or at least it used to be until “X” moved in about two years ago. He is withdrawn, is reclusive, and hates children. He leaves the lights off at Halloween and shouts at any children who knock on his door. He’s lodged several complaints about kids coming into his yard without permission and sent notes to everybody warning that he was not prepared to take on any liability for their safety on his property. He’s had particular difficulty with my 7-year-old son, who seems drawn to his home, and he’s gone from complaining to me to saying horrible things to my child. This runs the gamut from telling him that there is no Santa Claus to a detailed description of the crimes of serial killers to an explanation of how animals are butchered for meat. I’m furious, but X insists that the situation is entirely my fault and has warned that the next time my son steps onto his property he will bring charges. Do I have any recourse here? How do I persuade this angry, unpleasant man that harming a child with words is out of order? And what do I say to my son, who is now having nightmares about serial killers and afraid to cross the street?
—Neighbor Hates My Son
Re: Tell. Your. Son. To. Avoid. His. Property.
LW writes this as though her child should have the right to go wherever he wants. He doesn't. Stay off his property and he won't bother you. Seems pretty easy to me. If your son can't seem to keep himself away, don't let him play outside or supervise him better. The issue should be keeping the son away from this guy, not the things the guy says to him.
We had a creepy-ass neighbor right across the street. He actually sounds similar. We knew not to go to that house. And we knew to turn off the light and watch him through the TV room window when he would yell at his trees and lay in his yard with a torch.
GTFO here with this 'my son seems to be drawn to his property' bullshit. LW can seriously fuck off. I don't feel bad for a single thing this guy has done when LW has that attitude. You don't own the neighborhood or the 'vibe' of the place...Be fucking friends with the neighbors that seem to want to be in your presence. You created this LW. /rant (my mood is slightly sour today, ha)
FFS - tell your son to not go there. "Do not go on his property or you will be disobeying the neighbor AND me."
Neighbor sounds like a jerk but the LW needs to learn to tell her kids no. She does her kid no favors if she fails to discipline.
But also, I truly find it hard to believe that this kid was hanging around the neighbor for so long, that they had conversations about serial killers and how animals are killed for meat. I just don't buy it. It does not seem plausible to me.
It's on LW to keep her kid off this guy's property. Honestly, I wouldn't want a neighbor's random kid chilling on my lawn every day either. The fact that she is asking how to persuade him is laughable. Her kid is not allowed to be on this guy's yard. END OF STORY.
But in the event the reclusive neighbor did actually say it? Why on earth isn’t the LW’s letter “hi Prudie, please give me tips on getting my 7-year-old to listen to me. He keeps disobeying me and trespassing somewhere he shouldn’t be”.
Well, LW. Maybe if your son didn't act like a feral cat who needs to be shooed away, this "problem" would become non-existent. At least cats we can have a margin of tolerance for, because they don't understand the words we speak. Your son does not have that excuse. He's undisciplined and has no manners, at least in this case.
I know the LW has never seen it this way. But, in essence, she's forcing her neighbor to parent her "free roam" child. And then complaining about his "parenting skills", lmao.
I also have to ask, would she have preferred the neighbor call the police on her son instead of speaking (perhaps) rudely to him? Because if a neighborhood child was repeatedly ignoring my requests to "stay off my lawn". I wouldn't stoop to telling violent, scary stories. But I would start calling the police. Just like I would with any other repeated trespasser.
And what's up with people still knocking on the door (and just plain having a problem with people not doing Halloween) when the lights are off on Halloween? I thought that was a universal symbol for "we're not doing Halloween/giving out candy."
The kid needs to be told not to go on other people's property without permission, and that doesn't just apply to this guy.
Yes! I also noticed the verbage about Halloween was part of her examples of what a jerk/child-hating neighbor he is. I didn't see anything of the sort. I saw a neighbor who likes his privacy
I like children, albeit in small doses, just fine. But I don't like people, and especially not children, ringing my doorbell if I'm not expecting them. I also don't want children playing on my property, for all kinds of reasons. Including liability.
He doesn't have to participate in Halloween. For all she knows, it's against his religion. Or, he doesn't want to encourage children to come over even on Halloween. It sounds like this has been a problem for him and I am actually curious as to what is so cool about his property that kids want to hang out there, lol. Does he have a big, climbable oak tree? A pretty and colorful garden?
We said to the kids two weeks ago - no light means don't go there.
The only time we rolled our eyes was when people left lights on and then didn't answer the door. Come on people - we have a timer too. You turn it off on Halloween so people don't go to your door.
However, people are allowed to want to be left alone, and if they've made it clear that they don't want company, that needs to be respected. While the neighbor's reaction (if true) is out of line, it is his property and he's allowed to tell people they aren't welcome on it and to go away. LW needs to stop acting like their son can just do whatever the hell he wants and start teaching him about boundaries and self-control. Being "drawn" to someone's property is not an excuse for intruding and violating someone's privacy.
I'm totally the neighbour that doesn't want kids on my property, but I don't seem to have problems. This LW needs a dose of reality and to stop being a special snowflake
Also. Who wants 6 quarts of turkey chili?
I think you posted this to the wrong thread
I also had wine and was very tired.