• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Etiquette

Rant/Vent - Future sister-in-law and her PPD

edited November 2018 in Etiquette
Hi everyone. I'm new here, this is my first post. I just got engaged recently and we are getting married next year. Before I get started on my own planning I have a rant/vent about my future sister-in-law (fiancé's sister) and her "wedding" aka PPD.

She is already married and the PPD she is having is on their one year anniversary. No one else has a problem with it and even though my fiancé knows about etiquette and is normally against PPD's (he's declined them in the past) he seems to have a blind spot when it comes to his sister. She got legally married in December of last year. It was all last minute and no family or friends were there. She was in a car accident and in the hospital and the doctors said she might not make it. They weren't even engaged and the hospital chaplain married her and her boyfriend. No one they knew were there and it was quick and there were no photos or other wedding things. They were legally married though.

So now on the one year anniversary of their legal wedding, they are having a "wedding" aka PPD. She is wearing a white dress, they have a wedding party, they are doing vows in the church and then having a reception afterward. I have never been in a car accident but I get it was upsetting for her. I understand why she wants the date to be a happy thing to remember instead of the date being the day she was in a car accident and almost died. She was in the hospital for 3 months and lived in a rehab center for 6 months. She came home in September and is now back to work full-time and normal life now. I can't even imagine. But she is already legally married. This is a bone of contention between me and my  fiancé. He doesn't think it is an issue. He is walking her down the aisle and doing all the other father stuff since their father died over 15 years ago. He thinks that since they aren't asking for gifts, they don't have a registry and they aren't doing a honeyfund or any other etiquette blunders like a cash bar that this isn't a problem.

Like I said, I truly feel for her and I have no idea what she went through. She could have a marriage celebration party without all the trappings of a wedding but her and her husband are doing the full big white wedding. No one else in the family thinks it is a bad idea and everyone is offering to pitch in and stuff like that. I was asked to be a bridesmaid but I declined. My fiancé still wants me to come as his date.

Thanks for listening and letting me vent. I am still annoyed with my fiancé but since everyone else, all of the family and their friends and even their coworkers on on board I know I can't say anything. I really appreciate this website. I learned so much about wedding etiquette from here. I have learned a couple of things I planned to do are no gos.

So thanks for that and for anyone who read my whole post. - Jenny









«1

Re: Rant/Vent - Future sister-in-law and her PPD

  • Hi everyone. I'm new here, this is my first post. I just got engaged recently and we are getting married next year. Before I get started on my own planning I have a rant/vent about my future sister-in-law (fiancé's sister) and her "wedding" aka PPD.

    She is already married and the PPD she is having is on their one year anniversary. No one else has a problem with it and even though my fiancé knows about etiquette and is normally against PPD's (he's declined them in the past) he seems to have a blind spot when it comes to his sister. She got legally married in December of last year. It was all last minute and no family or friends were there. She was in a car accident and in the hospital and the doctors said she might not make it. They weren't even engaged and the hospital chaplain married her and her boyfriend. No one they knew were there and it was quick and there were no photos or other wedding things. They were legally married though.

    So now on the one year anniversary of their legal wedding, they are having a "wedding" aka PPD. She is wearing a white dress, they have a wedding party, they are doing vows in the church and then having a reception afterward. I have never been in a car accident but I get it was upsetting for her. I understand why she wants the date to be a happy thing to remember instead of the date being the day she was in a car accident and almost died. She was in the hospital for 3 months and lived in a rehab center for 6 months. She came home in September and is now back to work full-time and normal life now. I can't even imagine. But she is already legally married. This is a bone of contention between me and my  fiancé. He doesn't think it is an issue. He is walking her down the aisle and doing all the other father stuff since their father died over 15 years ago. He thinks that since they aren't asking for gifts, they don't have a registry and they aren't doing a honeyfund or any other etiquette blunders like a cash bar that this isn't a problem.

    Like I said, I truly feel for her and I have no idea what she went through. She could have a marriage celebration party without all the trappings of a wedding but her and her husband are doing the full big white wedding. No one else in the family thinks it is a bad idea and everyone is offering to pitch in and stuff like that. I was asked to be a bridesmaid but I declined. My fiancé still wants me to come as his date.

    Thanks for listening and letting me vent. I am still annoyed with my fiancé but since everyone else, all of the family and their friends and even their coworkers on on board I know I can't say anything. I really appreciate this website. I learned so much about wedding etiquette from here. I have learned a couple of things I planned to do are no gos.

    So thanks for that and for anyone who read my whole post. - Jenny









    Welcome Jenny. Change your user name so we can recognize easier and stick around. :)

    Good on you for coming here to vent instead of causing a fight with the family. PPDs can be so annoying, some more than others, but sometimes the best thing is to roll your eyes and smile. (And then come here to tell us all the cringe worthiness, haha)
    charlotte989875MesmrEweshort+sassyahoywedding
  • I get why you’re annoyed, but it’s not like they are lying about being married right? So everyone knows they’re already legally wed and they throwing this party? They should absolutely be calling it a vow renewal (and not a wedding) or a celebration of marriage, but I’d they want to renew their vows and host everyone, and they’re completely upfront about the fact that they’re married, they’re not technically doing anything wrong (again besides not calling it a vow renewal, which is really what it is). 

    Now if people didn’t know they were married or if they were accepting/having showers or bachelor/bachelorette parties that I would side eye. Strongly. 
    short+sassySTARMOON44
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hi everyone. I'm new here, this is my first post. I just got engaged recently and we are getting married next year. Before I get started on my own planning I have a rant/vent about my future sister-in-law (fiancé's sister) and her "wedding" aka PPD.

    Does the fact that you are recently engaged have a bearing on this?  Are you feeling as if your "thunder" has been stolen at all?

    She is already married and the PPD she is having is on their one year anniversary. No one else has a problem with it and even though my fiancé knows about etiquette and is normally against PPD's (he's declined them in the past) he seems to have a blind spot when it comes to his sister. She got legally married in December of last year. It was all last minute and no family or friends were there. She was in a car accident and in the hospital and the doctors said she might not make it. They weren't even engaged and the hospital chaplain married her and her boyfriend. No one they knew were there and it was quick and there were no photos or other wedding things. They were legally married though.

    So now on the one year anniversary of their legal wedding, they are having a "wedding" aka PPD. She is wearing a white dress, they have a wedding party, they are doing vows in the church and then having a reception afterward. I have never been in a car accident but I get it was upsetting for her. I understand why she wants the date to be a happy thing to remember instead of the date being the day she was in a car accident and almost died. She was in the hospital for 3 months and lived in a rehab center for 6 months. She came home in September and is now back to work full-time and normal life now. I can't even imagine. But she is already legally married. This is a bone of contention between me and my  fiancé. He doesn't think it is an issue. He is walking her down the aisle and doing all the other father stuff since their father died over 15 years ago. He thinks that since they aren't asking for gifts, they don't have a registry and they aren't doing a honeyfund or any other etiquette blunders like a cash bar that this isn't a problem.

    As much as I agree that the FULL bridal plan is a tad much, I can understand if they desire a religious union, particularly if they are Catholic.  Under their particular circumstances, I can understand why they would like to have a faith based ceremony.  Again, the full on bridal party and gown is a bit much for my tastes, but the couple is being completely up front about this event.

    Like I said, I truly feel for her and I have no idea what she went through. She could have a marriage celebration party without all the trappings of a wedding but her and her husband are doing the full big white wedding. No one else in the family thinks it is a bad idea and everyone is offering to pitch in and stuff like that. I was asked to be a bridesmaid but I declined. My fiancé still wants me to come as his date.

    You were right to decline the bridesmaid offer with the way you feel about the event.  I certainly hope you can set your other opinion aside and attend the wedding.  I do not think this is something on which to potentially divide yourself with future in-laws. 

    Thanks for listening and letting me vent. I am still annoyed with my fiancé but since everyone else, all of the family and their friends and even their coworkers on on board I know I can't say anything. I really appreciate this website. I learned so much about wedding etiquette from here. I have learned a couple of things I planned to do are no gos.

    So thanks for that and for anyone who read my whole post. - Jenny










    short+sassyahoywedding
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2018
    I mean, everyone knows they are married- it isn't like they are lying to everyone. Is this really a hill you want to die on or even emotionally invest? I tend to be very strict with PPDs, but this isn't really something that bad. She got married on what she thought was her deathbed. Maybe cut her some slack. 

    Sometimes family do things you don't agree with. I think you need to stop internalising this. Just let them go ahead and  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. It bears no reflection on you. No one asked your opinion. They aren't asking you to spend money. Just suck it up for family harmony. Enjoy your meal/ drinks/ dance with your FH. 
  • Thank you for the replies and the welcomes everyone.


    Does the fact that you are recently engaged have a bearing on this?  Are you feeling as if your "thunder" has been stolen at all?

    My future sister-in-law and her husband have been planning this since back in March when she left the hospital and moved into the rehab center. It was supposed to help motivate her in her rehab according to them. I have been engaged for 14 days now and my wedding isn't until May of next year. I suppose if they had announced they were doing this after I got engaged I would feel that way, but this was going on for eight months before I got engaged and started to think about my own wedding.

    They aren't getting married in the Catholic church. They are not super religious and the church they are going to recognizes civil ceremonies as the couple being legally married. They chose the church because my future sister-in-law's parents were married there and it was available on the one year anniversary of the accident. If it wasn't they would have chosen another place because the date was important to them, not the where and whether it was a church or not. They had looked at other non-religious venues as well.

    I agree this isn't my hill to die on and I am not saying a thing to anyone besides my fiancé. The fact that it is being billed as their "wedding" and the "wedding they never had" and people saying future sister-in-law "gets to be a proper bride now" is what is getting to me. People are still giving them gifts and everyone is calling it their wedding. If they were calling it a celebration or vow renewal and not doing wedding stuff it would feel different. Thanks again for letting me vent here everyone. I appreciate it.

    MobKaz
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @knottie291321f38be93e91 said:  I agree this isn't my hill to die on and I am not saying a thing to anyone besides my fiancé. The fact that it is being billed as their "wedding" and the "wedding they never had" and people saying future sister-in-law "gets to be a proper bride now" is what is getting to me. People are still giving them gifts and everyone is calling it their wedding. If they were calling it a celebration or vow renewal and not doing wedding stuff it would feel different. Thanks again for letting me vent here everyone. I appreciate it.


    Thanks for the responses.  I absolutely understand what you are saying and agree with you. Trust me when I say those phrases have been used by brides on these boards when they CHOSE to marry quickly because they just wanted to have sex, for example.   I do feel, however, that this particular situation does merit a little slack considering the circumstances.

    You are wise to use this forum to vent.  Get it all out.  I then encourage you to let it go and move forward.  SIL's situation/event will not change.  You can change the way you respond to it now.  Definitely change your SN so we can get to know you better. 



    ShesSoColdshort+sassy
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I really feel you on this one, OP. I have the same disagreement with my husband. His sister had a PPD after she was legally married. I was a BM and actually found out the morning of the PPD. After she revealed the truth, she asked me to help keep up the lie with everyone else. I did not quit the WP, but I also refused to lie to anyone. If I had known it was a PPD, I wouldn't have been in the WP, nor would I have spent all the money to travel and reschedule a final exam to be there. The whole thing was obnoxious, but the lie was the icing on the cake.  

    My husband has a blind spot for his sister. He didn't think it was that big of a deal. I feel like we were duped. If it wasn't a big deal, why couldn't she be honest with the guests? But, I think you're doing the right thing here. It's fair to be annoyed by it, and it's fair to vent about it here. Your FI knows how you feel, but there's really no point in further discussion. At least your FSIL isn't lying about it.
    short+sassy
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I agree with most PPs. I can think of very few circumstances where a full blown PPD is acceptable to me and this isn't one of them. Is it horrible what happened to her and do I understand why she got married the way she did? Absolutely. Do I think she should be able to have the big "wedding" party she wants? Yes - but without all the WEDDING fluff. 

    At the same time, your hands are tied here. If you do or say anything about this, then you'll look like the asshole to your future family. I would do exactly what you've done - talk to your fiance about it, decline to be in the wedding party and come bitch about it elsewhere. That's it. You really, really should attend this PPD.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    ahoywedding
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think you need to cut them some slack. She almost died - she was in the hospital and rehab for NINE MONTHS. I can't even imagine, and then having to put your life back together after that? If this were my brother, I'd be thanking my lucky stars he was still alive, and if he was throwing a PPD with his partner, I'd be happy as a clam. As long as everyone knows they're already married, I don't see what the problem is. 

    I'm usually against PPDs for any reason, but this is one situation I can understand. 

    Did you refuse to be in the wedding party because you don't agree with them having a party? Who cares? 

    I have a "blind spot" when it comes to my brother too. Sometimes that's just how it is. I have one brother, and I'll do almost anything for him, no matter what. 

    ei34charlotte989875STARMOON44
  • Not a hill to die on given the circumstances, there's etiquette and there's mercy in some situations.  Nine of the past 12mo of their first year of marriage has been spent in a hospital or rehab center, some of it iffy on her survival, and essentially married under duress of the accident (there are many legitimate reasons to do what they did).  They aren't lying to anyone that they're already legally married (a KEY issue).  Glad you turned them down for the BM role given your belief on the already married circumstances, but build a bridge and get over it, show up with your FI and have a great time, limit your inebriation the day-of, and treat it as part of the rehab therapy from the accident and take internal notes on how to make your wedding less stressful along with vendors to use/not use for your wedding.  It just isn't worth the energy you're spending on this, even if it's a bit side-eye worthy because it's still a PPD.  

    As a PP pointed out, legal marriage and sacramental marriage are separate in some faiths such as Catholic and not clear if that's the case here.  If that is the case, it'd be a "(don't like it but) free pass" (to get married at the Vatican you need to be legally married in your home country in order to even schedule the Sacramental Marriage there, which is why it's one of the few RARE exceptions).
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    MairePoppyahoyweddingernursej
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I really think people are being too hard on OP. She recognizes that it's not a hill to die on, and she's holding her tongue. She never said she would boycott the event. OP specifically said she's choosing to vent about it here because she knows she can't say anything to anyone IRL about it.

    You're allowed to feel the way you feel, even if you feel irritated by someone who has been through hell.  It's really not fair to say you shouldn't feel the way you feel. It's how you act on it that matters. 
    I agree with this. I also think that if this were the other way around and it was the SIL who was posting here about her PPD, the responses would be a lot different. 

    Remember the poster whose fiance was in a terrible motorcycle accident, lost a leg and all use of an arm? If I remember correctly, we weren't on board with a full on PPD for her. This is the same situation. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    MyNameIsNotMesmrEweahoyweddingernursej
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I really think people are being too hard on OP. She recognizes that it's not a hill to die on, and she's holding her tongue. She never said she would boycott the event. OP specifically said she's choosing to vent about it here because she knows she can't say anything to anyone IRL about it.

    You're allowed to feel the way you feel, even if you feel irritated by someone who has been through hell.  It's really not fair to say you shouldn't feel the way you feel. It's how you act on it that matters. 
    I agree with this. I also think that if this were the other way around and it was the SIL who was posting here about her PPD, the responses would be a lot different. 

    Remember the poster whose fiance was in a terrible motorcycle accident, lost a leg and all use of an arm? If I remember correctly, we weren't on board with a full on PPD for her. This is the same situation. 
    I don't remember anyone giving her a hard time about her PPD. Also if I remember correctly, there wasn't a question on if her H would survive. 

    MesmrEwebanana468charlotte989875
  • While I agree there are some mis-steps in how this event is being handled, I do find them minor.  Especially in light of the circumstances.

    Like @banana468 pointed out, no one is being harmed or treated poorly by this couple's choice to turn their anniversary into more the look of a wedding.  In fact, considering everything your FSIL and her H have been through over the last year, I can only imagine that friends and family are going to be especially overjoyed to be at a happy occasion for this couple.

    OP, I also think some of your angst is how others are treating/talking about this event.  Which the couple have no control over.  It sounds like they aren't even expecting gifts, ie no shower and no registry.  But, of course, some people will still want to give them gifts.  And there is nothing wrong with that either.

    You are definitely entitled to your feelings and I can understand why there are a few things rubbing you the wrong way.  I'm also glad to hear you also realize that bringing them up with others is not the right thing to do.  I'm not quite sure from your posts but, although it was fine to decline being a BM, you should not let your feelings keep you from attending. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    charlotte989875ei34MesmrEweahoywedding
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2018
    I’ll admit I’m biased bc I’m a bit PPD lax- if guests are being lied to or deceived in anyway I’m horrified, but as long as all of the guests know the couple is married, I don’t really care.*  Is a BP and walking down the aisle super AWish? Yes, but is it hurting me?  No.  Is a big reception when I’m already married how I’d choose to spend my money? Nope.  But again, not hurting me in anyway.  <— and these are my thoughts on PPDs when one of the members of the couple wasn’t on a deathbed/in rehab for months.  Given your FSIL’s circumstance, I’d kind of just go with the flow.  You were right to decline being in the BP but I don’t know how much more verbal pushback I’d give your FI.  For all you know he’s focusing on the fact that he almost lost his sister before anything else.  You were smart to come here to vent!  

    Congrats on your own engagement!  Stick around, change your username.  


    *ETA- showers for PPDs also turn me off bc they’re gift giving events.  Even if everyone knows I don’t like the idea of asking for gifts once married.
    charlotte989875short+sassyahoywedding
  • eileenrob said:
    I’ll admit I’m biased bc I’m a bit PPD lax- if guests are being lied to or deceived in anyway I’m horrified, but as long as all of the guests know the couple is married, I don’t really care.*  Is a BP and walking down the aisle super AWish? Yes, but is it hurting me?  No.  Is a big reception when I’m already married how I’d choose to spend my money? Nope.  But again, not hurting me in anyway.  <— and these are my thoughts on PPDs when one of the members of the couple wasn’t on a deathbed/in rehab for months.  Given your FSIL’s circumstance, I’d kind of just go with the flow.  You were right to decline being in the BP but I don’t know how much more verbal pushback I’d give your FI.  For all you know he’s focusing on the fact that he almost lost his sister before anything else.  You were smart to come here to vent!  

    Congrats on your own engagement!  Stick around, change your username.  


    *ETA- showers for PPDs also turn me off bc they’re gift giving events.  Even if everyone knows I don’t like the idea of asking for gifts once married.
    This is how I feel, too. Everyone knows, there’s no lying, so IDK I just don’t think it’s a problem. 

    Also I seriously hate the ”PPD” term. It’s sexist and (IMO) condescending and a little demeaning. 
    ei34Jen4948ahoywedding
  • I hate the term too @charlotte989875
    charlotte989875
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited November 2018
    eileenrob said:
    I’ll admit I’m biased bc I’m a bit PPD lax- if guests are being lied to or deceived in anyway I’m horrified, but as long as all of the guests know the couple is married, I don’t really care.*  Is a BP and walking down the aisle super AWish? Yes, but is it hurting me?  No.  Is a big reception when I’m already married how I’d choose to spend my money? Nope.  But again, not hurting me in anyway.  <— and these are my thoughts on PPDs when one of the members of the couple wasn’t on a deathbed/in rehab for months.  Given your FSIL’s circumstance, I’d kind of just go with the flow.  You were right to decline being in the BP but I don’t know how much more verbal pushback I’d give your FI.  For all you know he’s focusing on the fact that he almost lost his sister before anything else.  You were smart to come here to vent!  

    Congrats on your own engagement!  Stick around, change your username.  


    *ETA- showers for PPDs also turn me off bc they’re gift giving events.  Even if everyone knows I don’t like the idea of asking for gifts once married.
    This is how I feel, too. Everyone knows, there’s no lying, so IDK I just don’t think it’s a problem. 

    Also I seriously hate the ”PPD” term. It’s sexist and (IMO) condescending and a little demeaning. 
    I agree. If they were keeping the legal wedding a secret and the reason for the postponed celebration was because of insurance needs or military deployment or "it wasn't meaningful" to the couple in whatever manner they consider "meaningful" besides the legal, then I'd side-eye this whole event. 

    And I can understand why the OP is side-eyeing the billing as "the wedding they didn't have" and her FSIL's "chance to be a bride" since she is married. That's irritating and comes off as entitled on the couple's part. I'll agree that billing the event as an "anniversary" and eliminating the "wedding" aspects would be in better taste because that's triggering the "PPD" reaction.  But as this is coming after a terrible accident that almost claimed her life, I'm inclined to look the other way for this event.
    short+sassycharlotte989875ei34ahoywedding
  • I'm generally not a fan of doing the big wedding celebration after someone is already married, if for no other reason than that I would think it's rather anti-climatic. However, I only think it's really and truly wrong and horrible if the couple is lying about already being legally married. Since FSIL and her husband have been up front about it, I'm willing to cut them some slack. 

    I agree with PP's that you're right to come here to vent about this if it's bothering you. The best advice I could give (if you're looking for any) is to quit discussing this with your fiance. He's not going to change his mind. Even if he's usually against this type of event, this is his sister who almost died; it's totally understandable that he's willing to make an exception and just be happy for them. Stop letting it be a "bone of contention" between you and FI and just enjoy the event and be glad that the couple was honest with you. 

    image
    banana468ei34ahoywedding
  • I don't like re-dos. I think they're silly, and I roll my eyes internally, even this scenario where she almost died. 

    But if this was my sibling or my SIL, I'd still go and not say anything. I might be annoyed, sure, but I wouldn't make a big deal of it. 

    I have a sibling getting married soon and a cousin. One of them has "formal attire is welcomed" on their wedding website (and the invitation is very casual). The other had their registry listed on the main invitation right below all the other info. I'm not saying anything, and I'm going along with it. I roll my eyes, but I ignore it and don't make a big deal. I see this as the same.

    ahoyweddingMairePoppyMesmrEwe
  • I re-read the OP's post and I think people are being a bit too harsh on her. She acknowledges that this is the place to vent and not to her family. I don't agree with any sort of PPD (or re-do if we need to stop using PPD). I would side eye the hell out of this, rant here but hold my tongue in person. You get one day! Anything else should be a celebration of marriage.

    What are you getting out of being this unkind?

    I don't actually think she is being "this unkind". She is venting. Being "this unkind" would be accepting the request to be in the wedding and then throwing shade all day, it would be pooh-poohing in person to the bride ...
    MyNameIsNotInLoveInQueensMesmrEwe
  • ernursej said:

    I re-read the OP's post and I think people are being a bit too harsh on her. She acknowledges that this is the place to vent and not to her family. I don't agree with any sort of PPD (or re-do if we need to stop using PPD). I would side eye the hell out of this, rant here but hold my tongue in person. You get one day! Anything else should be a celebration of marriage.

    What are you getting out of being this unkind?

    I don't actually think she is being "this unkind". She is venting. Being "this unkind" would be accepting the request to be in the wedding and then throwing shade all day, it would be pooh-poohing in person to the bride ...

    She isn't just venting here though.   She's actively complaining to her FI that his sister got married on the day that she had a near death experience and now the family has rallied around her to say that she (and her husband) have their clear support in calling whatever they're doing the wedding they never had.   She continued to vent to her FI questioning why he feels like his sister deserves it.

    I'm sorry - but if my spouse continued to vent to me about my brother's wedding that happened on his near deathbed and why that wasn't cool and why he wasn't going to participate in it he would be inserting his opinion where it wasn't requested, where mine was made pretty clear and where his diatribes on etiquette were only going to get him to be right on paper. 


    MairePoppy
  • Like others, I think PPDs are nonsense, but why does any adult feel responsible about whether the other adults in their lives practice good etiquette?  (It is bad etiquette to correct them anyway!)

    The OP is doing her part to do the correct thing by declining to be a BM. That's all she is responsible for. She is also wise to vent here and nowhere else.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards