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Getting Ready

My fiance and the groomsmen are getting ready in one of the groomsmen's hotel rooms. My bridemaids, the groomswomen, my mother, my grandmother, and I are getting ready in a large suite that the hotel provides. It is not a hotel suite it is basically two large rooms. One with a bar area and the other area has chairs and couches. The problem is where my brother and father are getting ready. My brother is on my side, but he won't be getting dressed with me because that would be very uncomfortable for myself and the bridesmaids. Fiance is against them getting ready for him (I have no idea why). My parents aren't planning on getting a hotel room because they are just going to drive back and forth since they have animals. I would like to be able to get photos of my father and brother getting ready. The only option I can think of is let them use my grandparents' hotel room which they have offered, but if I want pictures of them getting ready they would have to get ready at like 12 when our photographers first arrive. I don't think they want to be in tuxes for 4.5 hours because the ceremony doesn't start until 4:30. We are doing photos prior to the ceremony at least the bride with her people and the groom with his. We are not doing a first look so after the ceremony is when we would do the couples photos, photos with both families and photos of the entire bridal party. I am doing a first look with my dad though. Any recommendations on what you think we should do to still include my father and brother?

Re: Getting Ready

  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My fiance and the groomsmen are getting ready in one of the groomsmen's hotel rooms. My bridemaids, the groomswomen, my mother, my grandmother, and I are getting ready in a large suite that the hotel provides. It is not a hotel suite it is basically two large rooms. One with a bar area and the other area has chairs and couches. The problem is where my brother and father are getting ready. My brother is on my side, but he won't be getting dressed with me because that would be very uncomfortable for myself and the bridesmaids. Fiance is against them getting ready for him (I have no idea why). My parents aren't planning on getting a hotel room because they are just going to drive back and forth since they have animals. I would like to be able to get photos of my father and brother getting ready. The only option I can think of is let them use my grandparents' hotel room which they have offered, but if I want pictures of them getting ready they would have to get ready at like 12 when our photographers first arrive. I don't think they want to be in tuxes for 4.5 hours because the ceremony doesn't start until 4:30. We are doing photos prior to the ceremony at least the bride with her people and the groom with his. We are not doing a first look so after the ceremony is when we would do the couples photos, photos with both families and photos of the entire bridal party. I am doing a first look with my dad though. Any recommendations on what you think we should do to still include my father and brother?
    I haven’t heard of photos of FOB and BOB getting ready.  Actually, we don’t even have photos of my H getting ready.  (My photographer took a couple photos of me getting ready, but I didn’t have any printed.)
    How far is your parents’ home from the hotel?  Could your dad and brother get ready there and drive over sooner to when you’re all photo ready?  
    charlotte989875levioosaMyNameIsNot
  • edited March 18
    eileenrob said:
    My fiance and the groomsmen are getting ready in one of the groomsmen's hotel rooms. My bridemaids, the groomswomen, my mother, my grandmother, and I are getting ready in a large suite that the hotel provides. It is not a hotel suite it is basically two large rooms. One with a bar area and the other area has chairs and couches. The problem is where my brother and father are getting ready. My brother is on my side, but he won't be getting dressed with me because that would be very uncomfortable for myself and the bridesmaids. Fiance is against them getting ready for him (I have no idea why). My parents aren't planning on getting a hotel room because they are just going to drive back and forth since they have animals. I would like to be able to get photos of my father and brother getting ready. The only option I can think of is let them use my grandparents' hotel room which they have offered, but if I want pictures of them getting ready they would have to get ready at like 12 when our photographers first arrive. I don't think they want to be in tuxes for 4.5 hours because the ceremony doesn't start until 4:30. We are doing photos prior to the ceremony at least the bride with her people and the groom with his. We are not doing a first look so after the ceremony is when we would do the couples photos, photos with both families and photos of the entire bridal party. I am doing a first look with my dad though. Any recommendations on what you think we should do to still include my father and brother?
    I haven’t heard of photos of FOB and BOB getting ready.  Actually, we don’t even have photos of my H getting ready.  (My photographer took a couple photos of me getting ready, but I didn’t have any printed.)
    How far is your parents’ home from the hotel?  Could your dad and brother get ready there and drive over sooner to when you’re all photo ready?  
    I want photos of my brother because he is on my side. We are going to have photos of the groomsmen, groomswomen, and bridesmaids getting ready so I thought it was only fair if we have photos of the bridesman also getting ready. They live about 1.5-2 hours from the hotel. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What does your brother want?  My brother barely wanted to pose for family photos, much less be photographed tying his tie.  If he wants to be photographed getting ready, then I’d take your grandparents up on their offer and have him get ready in their hotel room.
    charlotte989875OurWildKingdom
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Honestly, I'd skip those getting ready photos. They're really not necessary. You're already doing a first look w/ your dad, and if your brother is on your side, he'll be in the BP pictures. 

    I feel like getting ready photos are so over-hyped now. 

    ei34InLoveInQueensMesmrEwelevioosa
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I didn't schedule any getting ready photos. I planned for everyone to already be dressed by the time the photographers showed up. However, we were still in those rooms, and so she wanted to shoot me getting on my veil and whatever tiny things were still left to do.

    DH's side was totally ready already, so they had them stage things - tie fixing, cuff links, etc. The guys all thought it was hilarious and silly, and I agree. I know detail shots like that are good for a portfolio, but I have never put one up in my house (nor would I have even if they weren't fake memories).

    You don't need to worry about this. When I've been in BPs where they took real getting ready photos, it just made me uncomfortable. I'm sure your brother doesn't care about the "fairness," but if you're concerned, ask him what he wants.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Like PP said, it's not like if you don't do this, you won't have any pictures of your brother.
  • If you really want to having getting ready photos of them, have them take your grandparents up on the offer to use their room, but I’d find a way to make sure they don’t have to sit around in their suits for 4+ hours. That’s not fair to make them hang around all dressed up just for pictures. 

    I do think you can skip the photos of them and let them get ready in their own way. You’ll have tons of pictures of them at the ceremony and reception, I don’t think you’ll miss not having pictures of them literally getting dressed. 
    OurWildKingdomshort+sassy
  • The only "Getting Ready" photos, should be of you and maybe y'all getting your hair done...  That's really it.  Let them get dressed before heading to the event site and get a picture of you pinning his bout on.  Otherwise, really, the last thing anyone wants is a picture getting dressed locker room style.  It's more important to get great pictures after everyone is fully dressed and into the reception...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    short+sassy
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    So, while I agree with PPs that getting ready photos aren't necessary, I can't fault you if you want them. 

    I really think your brother and dad getting ready with the groom and other guys is the best way to go here. Why is your fiance so opposed to this? 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    ei34MyNameIsNot
  • So, while I agree with PPs that getting ready photos aren't necessary, I can't fault you if you want them. 

    I really think your brother and dad getting ready with the groom and other guys is the best way to go here. Why is your fiance so opposed to this? 
    Every time I ask him I get a different answer. One time it was just that he didn't want to force them to get ready with him and another time it was that he just wanted it to be him and his guys. 
  • So, while I agree with PPs that getting ready photos aren't necessary, I can't fault you if you want them. 

    I really think your brother and dad getting ready with the groom and other guys is the best way to go here. Why is your fiance so opposed to this? 
    I can’t speak for the OP, but I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else (besides the people I invited) to get ready with me. Just because they’re all guys doesn’t mean they all have to be okay with getting dressed together. 
    MesmrEwe
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 19
    So, while I agree with PPs that getting ready photos aren't necessary, I can't fault you if you want them. 

    I really think your brother and dad getting ready with the groom and other guys is the best way to go here. Why is your fiance so opposed to this? 
    I’m speaking for myself here, and not the OP (or, really, her FI), but I chose to get ready at my parents’ house with just my mom and sisters.  (My father and brother were in and out all day.)  I wanted the hours before the ceremony to be hardcore nearest and dearest.  I get along with my H’s sisters, they’re both terrific, but I wouldn’t have wanted them getting ready with me that day.  I know OP’s FI is getting ready with his GM and not his immediate family, but maybe he wants to keep his circle small too?  SO’s and siblings aren’t automatic besties.  

    ETA- Okay I was writing my response before OP answered 

    charlotte989875MesmrEwe
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yeah, I hardcore did not want MIL around while I was getting ready. Only the people I'm close to (and who don't drive me bananas). She did show up in that room late in the game, which was fine, but I wasn't inviting her for the whole morning. Totally would have changed the vibe.
    MesmrEwe
  • Yeah, I hardcore did not want MIL around while I was getting ready. Only the people I'm close to (and who don't drive me bananas). She did show up in that room late in the game, which was fine, but I wasn't inviting her for the whole morning. Totally would have changed the vibe.
    I guess I feel his groomswoman is getting ready with us so why can't my bridesman get ready with him. Several of my people don't like the groomswoman, but I am still letting her get ready with us. None of the groomsmen know my father or brother so they have no reason to dislike them. 
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yeah, I hardcore did not want MIL around while I was getting ready. Only the people I'm close to (and who don't drive me bananas). She did show up in that room late in the game, which was fine, but I wasn't inviting her for the whole morning. Totally would have changed the vibe.
    I guess I feel his groomswoman is getting ready with us so why can't my bridesman get ready with him. Several of my people don't like the groomswoman, but I am still letting her get ready with us. None of the groomsmen know my father or brother so they have no reason to dislike them. 
    I get that, but it is a very personal time leading up to a pretty monumental step. I started crying where we were staged for the processional because I just wanted to see DH. I would not have wanted MIL to swoop in/take pictures of just how much I love her dear boy/whatever would have happened there.

    You didn't have to invite the groomswoman, is my point, and I don't think your FI is therefore required to invite your dad and brother, unless you two had previously agreed that's how it would go.
    charlotte989875ei34MesmrEweInLoveInQueens
  • Yeah, I hardcore did not want MIL around while I was getting ready. Only the people I'm close to (and who don't drive me bananas). She did show up in that room late in the game, which was fine, but I wasn't inviting her for the whole morning. Totally would have changed the vibe.
    I guess I feel his groomswoman is getting ready with us so why can't my bridesman get ready with him. Several of my people don't like the groomswoman, but I am still letting her get ready with us. None of the groomsmen know my father or brother so they have no reason to dislike them. 
    I get that, but it is a very personal time leading up to a pretty monumental step. I started crying where we were staged for the processional because I just wanted to see DH. I would not have wanted MIL to swoop in/take pictures of just how much I love her dear boy/whatever would have happened there.

    You didn't have to invite the groomswoman, is my point, and I don't think your FI is therefore required to invite your dad and brother, unless you two had previously agreed that's how it would go.
    I agree with this; you don’t have to ask his groomswoman to get dressed with you, and he doesn’t have to invite your brother and father. It isn’t about people “not liking them” but about getting ready with people you (general you) don’t know and only wanting the people closest to you there. 
    ei34short+sassyInLoveInQueens
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