My teenage daughter came out as a lesbian a couple of years ago and then started dating her best friend. That friend has since come out as a trans guy and is now my daughter’s boyfriend. As a lesbian, my daughter is having a hard time navigating this change. She loves her partner very much and is seeking my advice about whether they should stay together. They’re relatively young teens who aren’t sexually active. (We talk candidly about these things.) Before they started dating, they were also physically affectionate, sometimes holding hands or cuddling during movies, so really the only physical change in their relationship after they became a couple was that they started kissing. While I see subtle signs of my daughter distancing herself, I think that since she isn’t sure yet, she should stay in the relationship until she knows what she really wants. I’m afraid that breaking up with her boyfriend at this fragile time of self-discovery could be especially hard on him and perhaps jeopardize their friendship. Of course, if or when my daughter decides that going back to being besties is what she wants, I’ll fully support her—and her boyfriend—through any difficulties. I want to help, but I know I’m playing catch-up on her sexuality. Can a lesbian date a trans male and remain lesbian?
—Perplexed Cis Mom