Hi all. My fiance and I are in the finishing stages of our list for save the dates to go out Sept/Oct. I was wondering if there are any "rules" with regards to inviting co-workers. I am inviting my manager because I would genuinely love for her to be there as well as my other manager who runs the company's office. There is a co worker I am quite close with and would love to invite but I don't want to "start" anything. I also know that one of my co workers will probably have a lot to say as she is not on the invite list. I keep my wedding planning and talking to a minimum in the office but she has asked numerous times if she is invited, to which I say, "We are still planning some things." She is on the immature/sensitive/dramatic side so I try to keep it as brief as possible. Anyways, curious if anyone has input or has dealt with something similar. Thank you!
Re: Co-workers
Once you start to dip a toe into inviting coworkers I would keep this at tiers only. If you are hesitant at inviting this coworker then don't invite anyone that's at the same level as she is. Invite the managers at the same level and their spouses and then don't invite anyone else and don't talk about the wedding at work.
Remember, once you mix your wedding with the office it starts to open the door for that to be a topic leading up to and after the event and how your managers and coworkers were treated at that event can be things that impact your work experience.
Secondly, you are just talking about STDs, not invitations. Remember, not every guest needs an STD. It's fine to send them only to VIPs and must-invites, but still send invitations to other people once you're closer to the actual wedding. I would do that with all co-workers, including the manager. (What if this manager leaves the company 3 months from now? If you sent a STD, you still have to invite her, but if you hold off, you can make a decision based on your relationship right before the wedding.)
Third, responding to the bold. The cardinal rule of pre-wedding parties is that only people invited to the actual wedding can be invited. At-work showers are generally an exception, but it would be very rude to invite your co-workers to your shower or bach party while excluding them from the wedding.
The only exception is if coworkers throw you a shower as a workplace event. I didn't have that but some offices do this and when the guests are all coworkers that's a general exception to the rule.