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Wedding Woes

Do her a favor and break up with her now.

Dear Prudence,

I’m dating a beautiful, caring woman whom I had felt madly in love with, and we’ve been together for nearly six months. We’ve said “I love you,” but I’ve been clear about taking it slow. A few weeks ago, I met an acquaintance of my girlfriend (they’re not close friends) and was absolutely smitten with her out of the blue. We only talked for several minutes, and I firmly put her out of my mind, but that only lasted so long. I looked her up on Facebook and discovered that we had the same college major and are both avid runners. When we first spoke, I felt that sparks were flying beneath the surface, though I stayed very formal the entire time. Since then I haven’t felt as attracted to my current girlfriend, and I’ve been wishing I was single so I could ask out this other woman. Am I leading my girlfriend on by continuing to stay with her, even though I’m thinking about this other woman? Is it absurd to consider ending this previously solid relationship for the hope that, once I’m single, I’ll be able to ask out this other woman and see where things go?

—Feeling Torn

Re: Do her a favor and break up with her now.

  • Break. Up. With. Your. Gf.
     
    Idc what LW does after, but if you're clearly not as attracted to gf then don't stick around.
    MesmrEwe
  • You need to figure out if you're in love with your GF or if you're in love with the complacency of a long term relationship.

    You also need to face the very real possibility that this person may not be into you.

    But first thing's first: figure out if you're attracted to your girlfriend.   If you aren't then end this now for her sake and yours. 
    charlotte989875cupcait927ei34
  • Is this a crush, or is it more? It’s fine in any long term relationship to occasionally think about the other fish swimming around out there, but if it’s more than that do the right thing and end it now. 
    Casadena
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Sounds like LW is not really in love with the girlfriend. Break up with her! 

  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ew. You’re an asshole LW. You don’t deserve either woman. And your GF certainly deserves someone better than you. 


    image
    ei34charlotte989875
  • Am I the only one who keeps singing that Ariana Grande song every time I see this? 
    VarunaTTmrsconn23
  • Pretty much ditto, you all.  Especially @VarunaTT's gif.

    Mr. Fickle, definitely break up with your g/f.  You are obviously not in love with her or feeling that committed to her.

    Try to go after the other woman if you want.  It's a plethora of long shots, but you do you.  She may not reply at all.  She might give you a flat no.  On the off chance she agrees to a date, it may not go well.

    Really, really long shot.  You all hit it off and start a relationship.  Fast forward 6 months when things aren't totally fresh and brand-new.  That new barista at my favorite coffee shop!  I just know from our snippets of conversation and the special way she smiles at me that we are made for each other!  If only I were single...
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    VarunaTTei34charlotte989875
  • kvruns said:
    Am I the only one who keeps singing that Ariana Grande song every time I see this? 
    "problem" ?
    mrsconn23
  • kvruns said:
    Am I the only one who keeps singing that Ariana Grande song every time I see this? 
    "problem" ?
    No, Break Up With Your Girlfriend ('cause I'm bored). 

    And yes, totally sang it as I wrote the post title. ;) 
    VarunaTTei34kvrunscharlotte989875
  • mrsconn23 said:
    kvruns said:
    Am I the only one who keeps singing that Ariana Grande song every time I see this? 
    "problem" ?
    No, Break Up With Your Girlfriend ('cause I'm bored). 

    And yes, totally sang it as I wrote the post title. ;) 
    I was thinking, Thank U, Next.

    Also sang it as typing.  :D
    mrsconn23
  • VarunaTT said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    kvruns said:
    Am I the only one who keeps singing that Ariana Grande song every time I see this? 
    "problem" ?
    No, Break Up With Your Girlfriend ('cause I'm bored). 

    And yes, totally sang it as I wrote the post title. ;) 
    I was thinking, Thank U, Next.

    Also sang it as typing.  :D
    I like that one too.  :D  I actually haven't found much from Ms. Grande I don't like.  But I shamelessly love pop music, so... ;) 
    short+sassyVarunaTTMissKittyDangercharlotte989875
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