Wedding Woes

"Why would you say that?" *pointed stare*

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
edited March 19 in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I’m a 25-year-old black woman, and all my life I’ve been teased for being thin. Now that I’m a little older, I’ve finally been able to put on a few pounds and am no longer a size zero. I’m very happy with the way I look, but I’m still insecure about my size and constantly compare myself to other women.

I recently got a new job, and everyone here is very kind. However, a lot of my co-workers, even my boss, will make comments like “You eat so much but don’t gain a pound” or “You must be cold all the time because you have no fat.” I know that they aren’t meaning to insult me, so I always awkwardly smile. But I die inside every time I hear a comment like that. I know that a lot of people assume that being called skinny is a compliment, and maybe I sound ungrateful in the grand scheme of things. But I can’t help how I feel. Is there a way I can communicate that comments regarding my body make me uncomfortable or is this a personal problem I should take up with a therapist?

—Skinny’s Not a Compliment

Re: "Why would you say that?" *pointed stare*

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    You hear comments like this all the time.  Especially with thin celebrities.  “Make them eat a cheeseburger”.  In my eyes it’s the same as fat shaming. You never know the struggles either way. I have no advise on what LW can say back.  Maybe “i live a healthy lifestyle, I’m all good”. But why should LW even have to defend themselves? 

    short+sassy
  • Directness doesn't come naturally to everyone, but I think this is one of these situations where being direct is a totally acceptable response, and probably the best one. Tell them outright that they make you uncomfortable when they comment on how thin you are. Hopefully, if they are as nice as you say, they will feel bad that they've put you in an awkward position and stop. 
    image
    short+sassy
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