Moms and Maids

How to include Mom who lives far away

I'm getting married in California, where I've lived for the past several years and where me and my fiance's friends live. His family lives a few hours away, but my parents live across the country in Virginia. Me and my fiance just got engaged, but I got a feeling even before we got engaged that my parents seemed a little jealous that we were able to see his family more than mine. I want to make my parents (especially my mom) feel included, while not making them feel like I'm dumping work on them. Any advice would be wonderful :)

Re: How to include Mom who lives far away

  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Go dress shopping with your Mom...

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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm getting married in California, where I've lived for the past several years and where me and my fiance's friends live. His family lives a few hours away, but my parents live across the country in Virginia. Me and my fiance just got engaged, but I got a feeling even before we got engaged that my parents seemed a little jealous that we were able to see his family more than mine. I want to make my parents (especially my mom) feel included, while not making them feel like I'm dumping work on them. Any advice would be wonderful :)

    If you live in, and plan on marrying in California, your options will be limited.  Factor in restrictions regarding Covid, even fun things like traveling to join with dress shopping, could be risky, if not downright impossible.
    No one but you and your FI should be "working" on wedding plans.  However, if she chooses, your mom could help with internet recon.  For my son's wedding, I did a lot of recon helping my DIL find just the right bottles for their favors, and other reception details.  I had the time and interest in helping. 
    You could Facetime when you go dress shopping if she is unable to travel for that experience.  If your mom has a particular passion, such as flowers, you could ask if she is interested in researching flowers or centerpieces for you.
    My son and his family are also across the country.  It is hard, but you can only do so much to feel included.
    short+sassy
  • maine7mobmaine7mob member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ask her what she'd like to do. Walk you down the aisle? Help you with your menu, flowers, decor, etc., beforehand? None of the above? Ask her! If she likes clothes and shopping, go online and look for dresses for her. My daughter had her eye out for my MOB dress and was always sending me suggestions, and she came with me to Nordstrom when I finally chose one. It's one way of showing your mom that you're interested in how she experiences the day. 
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