Alone on Wedding Day

knottie6a4ab450a8ddf017

I was married last week, and am feeling really sad about the day because I did not have anyone on my side who showed up. It's a long story, and obviously we had to downsize anyway because of COVID. However, in the end my bride had 12 guests, and I feel really lonely that I couldn't even convince one - it didn't even matter who at that point. I know that you might say guests are there for the both of us, but it's just not the same. She had a room full of laughter while getting ready, as I was sitting alone. Our photographer kept asking any other pictures I wanted, since I wasn't really in many of the photos. And all in all, now that I am married and people are asking me to tell the story, I just want to find a way to be happy with the day I had. Except every time I feel forced to tell it, it feels like reliving my loneliness all over again. I also don't want to take away from the incredible support that my wife had and ruin her memory of the day. 

missJeanLouise

knottie6a4ab450a8ddf017 said:

I was married last week, and am feeling really sad about the day because I did not have anyone on my side who showed up. It's a long story, and obviously we had to downsize anyway because of COVID. However, in the end my bride had 12 guests, and I feel really lonely that I couldn't even convince one - it didn't even matter who at that point. I know that you might say guests are there for the both of us, but it's just not the same. She had a room full of laughter while getting ready, as I was sitting alone. Our photographer kept asking any other pictures I wanted, since I wasn't really in many of the photos. And all in all, now that I am married and people are asking me to tell the story, I just want to find a way to be happy with the day I had. Except every time I feel forced to tell it, it feels like reliving my loneliness all over again. I also don't want to take away from the incredible support that my wife had and ruin her memory of the day. 

I am sorry you felt alone, it is an awful feeling. I hope time will help remove the sting a little bit. If you find yourself dwelling on it you might want to talk to someone about it; maybe a therapist, maybe a friend, or your spouse. (((Hugs))) 

MissKittyDanger

knottie6a4ab450a8ddf017 said:

I was married last week, and am feeling really sad about the day because I did not have anyone on my side who showed up. It's a long story, and obviously we had to downsize anyway because of COVID. However, in the end my bride had 12 guests, and I feel really lonely that I couldn't even convince one - it didn't even matter who at that point. I know that you might say guests are there for the both of us, but it's just not the same. She had a room full of laughter while getting ready, as I was sitting alone. Our photographer kept asking any other pictures I wanted, since I wasn't really in many of the photos. And all in all, now that I am married and people are asking me to tell the story, I just want to find a way to be happy with the day I had. Except every time I feel forced to tell it, it feels like reliving my loneliness all over again. I also don't want to take away from the incredible support that my wife had and ruin her memory of the day. 

This is definitely hard, and unfortunate you had no one.
Definitely speak to someone, covid has affected people in different ways.

Did anyone on your side give a reason?

One thing you can do is look at your spouse and be happy you're with them, despite the disaster going on in the world.

banana468

I'm sorry you felt alone. 

It's understandable to feel disappointed and in the end please look at it from the health perspective due to COVID.  Have you reached out to the family members that you missed?  Maybe you can try to engage in a video visit and mention to those closest to you that you understand why they weren't attending but you miss them and would love for them to reach out. 

short+sassy

I wanted to express my sympathies also that you had feelings of loneliness on your wedding day, which should be just the opposite.

Try to focus on the good and happy parts of the day.  Marrying your wife!  When people ask about the day, talk about those aspects.  How happy you and your wife are to be starting your life together.  How good the food/cake was.  What you liked about the location.

And also try to focus on the new future you have to look forward to.  Try to put the past behind you, though I know that is easier said than done.

FWIW, my husband and I got married in my hometown which was 1500 miles away from where we currently live.  With the exception of his best man, every single other person was from my side.  Most of them were people he had never met.  It was also a small wedding with about 30 guests (pre-pandemic times).  I talked to him about the "imbalance" ahead of time.  It didn't seem to bother him, but that is also part of his personality.  I'm more mentioning this because I don't want you to feel that what happened to you is unusual.

Jen4948

I'm very sorry.

I know of times in my life when I felt alone. It's an awful way to feel on what should be a happy occasion.

But I agree with the advice above to focus on the happy, rather than the sad, aspects of your wedding and your future with your bride. Congratulations and best wishes!