Wedding Woes

Monday

I took the day off of work on Friday.  I felt terrible and had a small fever.  I think my body just finally shut down after the drama of the past few weeks.  But, I'm sleeping in the bed again and I did my laundry and put the clothes away.  Small baby steps to feeling normal.

We almost lost my BFF's dad to covid last Thursday as well.  I swear to all that is holy, if I lose any part of my second family due to this, I'm going to burn some shit down.  Dad still isn't out of the woods, but they didn't have to intubate him and his oxygen level is back up to 80%, so we're out of the "he called his wife to say goodbye" phase at least.  Mom is also covid positive, but asymptomatic at this point.

K reached out again Thursday night and their immaturity level has reached new heights.  They now know they are locked out of the apartment and, basically, had an ugly temper tantrum via text.  Here's the thing though:  K has to make any movements to get in, not their mommy, and while K seems to have some new found boldness coming from their mouths, I know them....they're not going to do a damn thing they threatened to do b/c they would have to do it.  They said that I had once again created a situation where I had all the power and they had to deal with the consequences.  I told them they had made adult commitments and breaking them had consequences.  They apparently didn't even understand what the lease addendum was for, that it actually protected them from breaking the lease.  Also, any time I find myself getting too mopey, I re-read this and just sigh to myself, b/c damn if it's not exactly what was happening:  https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/how-borderline-relationship-evolves

Just hitting the grind at work now, trying to get things caught up and be a good employee.  They've been pretty supportive of my breakdown here, so I need to give back.

MissKittyDangershort+sassykvrunsei34
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Re: Monday

  • ((hugs)) @VarunaTT.  I'm glad you're remembering everything coming from K is just a lot of noise.  Yay for rest.  

    We had a pretty good weekend.  Both days were pretty lazy.  Dad came over for the game and dinner last night.   

    I just work today and tomorrow.  Wahoo. 
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm sorry @VarunaTT. And I also had to take a sick day Friday as I had such a bad migraine. 

    I typically would work from home Wednesday, but now I feel guilty because it's a short week. So I'll probably come into the office, and will most likely leave early. It's sad though because we always have our own Thanksgiving here at work. Everyone would bring in a dish, and it was always a fun week. Obviously that is not happening this year. 

    I have to go food shopping later and I'm hoping it's not too crazy. 

    short+sassyei34
  • @VarunaTT Hugs all around :( 

    Saturday I got to see one of my bff's A - she mentioned a friend of hers is expecting in April. Unusual situation, but I told A that her friend can msg me {I know her just not hugely well} about stuff and I can help out. A also asked if I would help her buy stuff for her - 100%! Always loved buying stuff for baby showers :)
    I'm also going to give my stroller & bucket seat to her. We have no need for it and I cannot legally sell my bucket seat.

    While out I was discussing with A about the fact she's engaged - have they moved forward with any plans? I know A wants kid(s) so I was half asking that too {without asking per say}
    Short version, I suggested couples counseling because her FI is expecting her to do everything and I mentioned that if that doesn't get figured out asap, it could make for very big frustrations and arguments. At least if they spoke to someone, they could understand where other is coming from.
    A thinking it could be half cultural BUT she mentions his "we're a traditional family" is b.s because his mum left his dad shortly after they moved to Canada.
    {he is Chinese and she is Russian - for reference}
    I gave a few suggestions but I'm not expecting her to take any, I just hope she considers it at least. As I said to her, she deserves to be happy and if it's with him - he needs to understand her thoughts/feelings and she to his.


    Sunday didn't do much. M put together the miter saw more, I got laundry done and some reading for my course.
    My aunt was visiting my nana, so she facetimed me so I could see her.
    Guys she looks so tired :(
    She's not eating much because of it.
    Me: nana remember when I had pneumonia and I just wanted to sleep?
    Her: yes, you needed to eat and I had to keep waking you
    Me: yeh. You made sure I ate because you knew it would help
    Her: you needed to keep your strength up
    Me: and now you do too.
    Her: ...hmm .... I guess I should take my own advice eh?
    Me: yes you do :)
    Her: You know ... I give some pretty damn good advice ;)
    Me;: I wouldn't be repeating it now if you didn't

    I started to cry on the video chat, but kept it together. Shit this is hard. Idk when they're starting her meds, etc
    short+sassycharlotte989875ILoveBeachMusickvruns
  • @VarunaTT sorry to be the local Cuomo but fever is a Covid symptom! Have you been tested?
    missJeanLouisecupcait927
  • @CharmedPam I missed it, are you reno'ing your kitchen?
    Glad you guys talked it out and great way to end the night ;) 

    @missJeanLouise love the blanket!
    missJeanLouise
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited November 2020
    Omg @missJeanLouise i love love love it!!

    yup @MissKittyDanger, whole kitchen reno, including new fridge and dishwasher! (Stove is fine) first I was going with a pro, but M convinced me we could install cabinets and tile and just get the countertops done professionally.  I even have new patio blinds, sink, tap, lighting fixtures, paint etc.  everything goes but the stove and microwave lol! 

    MissKittyDanger
  • @VarunaTT, It's bizarre K thinks they could just keeping coming and going from the apartment after they left you.  I assume you have offered them the opportunity to SET a specific day/time when they can come get the rest of their stuff.  Thanks for including the link.  That was a really interesting article.  The Coast Guard analogy especially resonated with me.  Not so much with anyone I've dated (thankfully), but I've known people like that.  They are always the "victim", yet they are the ones who keep throwing themselves back in the water.

    @climbingwife, my work usually has a Thanksgiving potluck also and I'm missing it this year.  It was always so fun and a bonus great day of eating!

    @MissKittyDanger, That is such a sweet story about the video chat with your nana! I hope your example gives her more motivation to eat, so she can feel stronger.

    Friday was a way too busy day.  It was exhausting, but the appraiser saw all the units so I guess that is the main thing.  Even though technically I was already off work when I left to meet the appraiser, I had to go BACK to work for about one hour because there was a hot item that needed to go out on Friday.  That was unexpected and really sucked.

    But the rest of my weekend was lolling around doing nothing, lol.  I didn't even leave the house.  That was EXACTLY what I needed after all the stress of getting my loan documents together.  Which is all done (phew), except for the insurance docs that happen near closing.

    Today I am looking forward to my 2 1/2 day work week!  I have a few more things to pick up from the grocery store, but most of my Thanksgiving feast has already been purchased.  It would be easiest for me to go on Wed. because I only work a half day.  But I'm picturing being at Walmart on the day before Thanksgiving as a really bad move, lol.  I'm probably better off going tonight.  I also have two prescriptions I can pick up, so at least I'm getting a two-fer.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @CharmedPam Whew! Nice! We're working on doing similar and likely replacing the microwave {fridge is 4yrs old and stove just a few months}
    I'm excited if you're able to do before and after shots ;)
  • @short+sassy  we're all basically doing what we can to remind her she needs to eat. I mean we get it, this zaps all energy out of you, and she even said the food is pretty good {same hospital I had BK} and I told her that yes the food was good, I got meals after BK was born.
    short+sassy
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @VarunaTT, It's bizarre K thinks they could just keeping coming and going from the apartment after they left you.  I assume you have offered them the opportunity to SET a specific day/time when they can come get the rest of their stuff.  Thanks for including the link.  That was a really interesting article.  The Coast Guard analogy especially resonated with me.  Not so much with anyone I've dated (thankfully), but I've known people like that.  They are always the "victim", yet they are the ones who keep throwing themselves back in the water.

    @climbingwife, my work usually has a Thanksgiving potluck also and I'm missing it this year.  It was always so fun and a bonus great day of eating!


    This was one of the things I loved too! Another day of eating? Bring it on! And honestly, 99.9% of the food that everyone cooked was delicious. 

    I still crack up about it now but when I started here 3 years ago, my coworker gave me a heads up to NEVER eat anything that one person brought in. She said she knew for a fact that she would cook things, and then leave them outside even in warm temps. Blech. Also, how do I know that a squirrel wasn't munching on that roast??

  • Thats beautiful @missJeanLouise !!

    hugs @VarunaTT I'm glad your employer has been understanding
    missJeanLouise
  • @STARMOON44 if it had lingered at all or I had any other symptoms, I would have.  I felt much so better on Saturday, after sleeping all day on Friday.  I think it was just pure exhaustion from not sleeping, not eating, and crying a lot.

    @short+sassy They kept asking for a day to send their mother while I was at work.  I finally said, your mother will have to coordinate with me, b/c you are totally locked out.  Here is my schedule, let her text me what time she wants to be here, no one will be allowed in my apartment without me here, period.  Temper tantrum ensued, police were threatened, etc.  I just don't care anymore.  You didn't talk to me at all for 10 days after leaving, I didn't know where they had gone or what they were doing; I took actions to protect myself.  That's what adults do, K, sorry that you can't recognize that or do the same.

    I'm still stuck on taking roller derby trophies and pageant crowns and not your damn checkbook.  WTF.
    MissKittyDangermrsconn23charlotte989875
  • Bah.   It's a rainy Monday.

    I have a sore throat that I get EVERY year at this time.   My FB updates are telling me that this is timed PERFECTLY nearly every Thanksgiving. 

    AF is not here.  I'm not sure if she's heading over the river and through the woods but FFS can she PLEASE SHOW UP.    I need to get stuff today for a project for Chiquita and will probably buy more tests because if I'll need reassurance.    I know I'm stressed like CRAZY (like up in the middle of the night reading my phone at least two times last week) and that's probably what this is.   But I hate it and need it to stop. 


  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @VarunaTT I'm sorry to hear about all of the stress but glad to hear that your employer is understanding.

    @charlotte989875 Congrats to H on his new job!

    @missJeanLouise That quilt is gorgeous!

    @ei34 Fingers cross that your son is able to come home before Thanksgiving! How scary. 

    @banana468 I'm waiting on AF as well. It's also reminding me that I need to get into my gyno for a new IUD
    missJeanLouisecharlotte989875ei34
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Another Monday. Today is full of projects and fires that I need to have contained by end of day. I took tomorrow off for my birthday, and then Thursday and Friday my office is closed. So very little time to get everything taken care of before end of month. 

    Our office is still doing a Thanksgiving potluck luncheon. It is the absolute worst idea but none of the partners take Covid seriously. So we're going to have 15 people all sharing food, sitting near one another, right before a holiday. 
  • Another Monday. Today is full of projects and fires that I need to have contained by end of day. I took tomorrow off for my birthday, and then Thursday and Friday my office is closed. So very little time to get everything taken care of before end of month. 

    Our office is still doing a Thanksgiving potluck luncheon. It is the absolute worst idea but none of the partners take Covid seriously. So we're going to have 15 people all sharing food, sitting near one another, right before a holiday. 
    Are things not getting worse out where you are? We’re in orange  and might be red tomorrow. 
  • Damn @ei34, I hope he gets better quickly, that must be really scary! All the good thoughts!!
    ei34
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Another Monday. Today is full of projects and fires that I need to have contained by end of day. I took tomorrow off for my birthday, and then Thursday and Friday my office is closed. So very little time to get everything taken care of before end of month. 

    Our office is still doing a Thanksgiving potluck luncheon. It is the absolute worst idea but none of the partners take Covid seriously. So we're going to have 15 people all sharing food, sitting near one another, right before a holiday. 
    Are things not getting worse out where you are? We’re in orange  and might be red tomorrow. 
    Cuomo actually just announced a little while ago that parts of Monroe County (mainly Rochester and its immediate suburbs) just went orange. The rest of the county is yellow. A couple of my coworkers live in the new orange zone, a handful in the yellow zone, and the rest of us live in areas where the rolling rates are still under the threshold of yellow.
  • @ei34 I'm not familiar with this, what happened? :\ 
    ei34
  • oh no @ei34 sorry to hear about that, I hope he is on the mend soon

    happy early birthday @cupcait927
    cupcait927ei34
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @ei34 I hope he's on the mend soon!

    ei34
  • @ei34 thinking of you and want to encourage you to call out all week if you have the days! I’ve never regretted missing work to be with a loved one in the hospital 
    charlotte989875levioosaei34
  • Oh no @ei34!  T+P's for your son and all of you.  
    ei34
  • @ei34 Yikes, that's scary!  I hope he is home really soon.

    My city just went back into red starting today (Canadian red though, so have no idea what that is compared to the States) so we are having more restrictions.  I stocked up on pet food, and we're good for food, so I think we'll just not leave our house for a bit.  I working a late shift today, so I don't actually start until 4.  It was sort of nice to have a later shift to do stuff in the morning, but I'm going to be dragging by the end of work today.  Coffee ... coffee will be my friend.

    We also got a bunch of snow yesterday.  I've decided that this is the year that I learn how to cross country ski.  I went into my backyard to figure some things out yesterday, and next time I'm going to venture on the trail near my house.  It is very flat - a good place to learn!

    charlotte989875kvrunsei34
  • @ei34, I'm so sorry to hear about the unexpected surgery!  I hope your son heals quickly and can come home by Thanksgiving.

    My mom has jokingly blamed me throughout my life that she was in the hospital for Thanksgiving because I was born 18 days past the due date.  (My birthday is never on Thanksgiving, but it was close enough that year, that she was still in the hospital.)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    ei34
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Praying DS gets home in time for Tgiving @ei34, sorry to hear it

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