The Airing of Grievances

charlotte989875

Anyone have some grievances they need to air? I’ll go first. I’m so annoyed at sister’s MIL for going to a salon. Yes they were legally open and I get wanting to feel better after a really shitty year, but still. You know you’re trying to gather with yourself family, why risk it for something that isn’t necessary??

MissKittyDanger

Annoyed with the premier of Ontario for not taking into account of how our city is doing.
Idc what it is, it feels like we're getting punished and we did the right thing.

FORCE TORONTO TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER!!

Also annoyed how he said "Oh make sacrifices for Thanksgiving and you can see family on Christmas"
DON'T MAKE PROMISES YOU CANNOT KEEP!!!


Also annoyed with covid in general.
And FIL for making me feel awful for BK and M
As I keep asking M, what if BK grows up and realizes FIL isn't around? If she's anything like me, she will wonder if he just didn't love her enough and that breaks my fucking heart.
M keeps saying that he'll explain to her it's nothing about her - in theory that works but idk.

Luckily SFIL is around. As I keep getting upset about, is that FIL has an opportunity that basically is not an automatic thing - have a relationship with his granddaughter.
I would give anything for my dad to be around to be a grandparent and part of me wonders if SFIL is trying to be more because he is basically her only grandfather in her life.
Kinda like how my mum tries to be both parents because she is the only parent.

MyNameIsNot

Ok, this is kind of stupid, but I'm annoyed at people who can't understand my name. When I got married, I didn't change my name. I didn't change any part of it. Neither did my husband. I do appreciate how many people take the time to send us holiday cards, but I'm annoyed at how many people cannot wrap their head around my name not changing. Not just run of the mill Mrs. H's name, I'm getting cards to Mr. Myname, Mr and Mrs Hisname-Myname, Mrs. Hisname-Myname and all sorts of ridiculousness. How is it so hard for people who have known me my entire life to understand that my name is the same thing it has always been? 

Side annoyance, I'm annoyed at MIL. She and H haven't exchanged gifts since he was a kid, so whatever. She's never given me anything. (I got her something when we were dating, but quickly quit.) This year she got something for my parents. I don't know why I'm annoyed about that, but I am. 

MissKittyDanger

@MyNameIsNot Wtf that is so confusing! I mean I haven't changed, but fb says my name as a hyphenate.
We typically get "Mr. & Mrs. M's Last Name" Idc about that

Also valid annoyance about your MIL

banana468

I'm annoyed that MIL and FIL gave a family portrait to BIL two years ago and to date DH hasn't received one of the family heirlooms.  We'll see if that's something they give to us for Christmas. 

I'm annoyed that I haven't hugged my parents since February. 

WTF lady parts - can you please figure out if I'm fertile or perimenopausal?  

missJeanLouise

It's not an annoyance, more of a sadness, but my bff here and I have been drifting apart for the last year or so. I am trying to nurture other relationships but it's not the same.

kerbohl

@MyNameIsNot This is the first year I got one labelled "To Mr and Mrs HubbyFullname".  Interesting ....

Are people just a little behind with the times?  I didn't change my last name either.  I did change my facebook to it though, so I do understand some confusion.

kerbohl

I'm annoyed that I sent my brother a Christmas Card and he replied by ranting that he is only sending Christmas cards to people that send him one first.  Um ... okay?  I, uh, don't really care.  I also don't really need one from you, I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you but ... thanks for throwing shade at what I assume is my other siblings?

MissKittyDanger

missJeanLouise said:

It's not an annoyance, more of a sadness, but my bff here and I have been drifting apart for the last year or so. I am trying to nurture other relationships but it's not the same.

I can assure you that my bff and I drift off and on constantly, but we both know if shit goes down that we have each other's backs.

MissKittyDanger

Also I'd like to just 'get over' drama from like almost 3 years ago.
It lives rent free in my head and I would like to evict it now .... I'm done over thinking it and would like to move on.

Which is all theoretical speak because I'll likely think about it again for a long time

missJeanLouise

MissKittyDanger said:

missJeanLouise said:

It's not an annoyance, more of a sadness, but my bff here and I have been drifting apart for the last year or so. I am trying to nurture other relationships but it's not the same.

I can assure you that my bff and I drift off and on constantly, but we both know if shit goes down that we have each other's backs.

Yeah, but she is moving back to Australia in 6 months and I just don't know what is going to happen after that. I am still very close with my 2 bffs in the States. Friends since 7th and 9th grades.

MissKittyDanger

missJeanLouise said:

MissKittyDanger said:

missJeanLouise said:

It's not an annoyance, more of a sadness, but my bff here and I have been drifting apart for the last year or so. I am trying to nurture other relationships but it's not the same.

I can assure you that my bff and I drift off and on constantly, but we both know if shit goes down that we have each other's backs.

Yeah, but she is moving back to Australia in 6 months and I just don't know what is going to happen after that. I am still very close with my 2 bffs in the States. Friends since 7th and 9th grades.

One bff moved to England and Germany in 9th grade for about a year or so. My other bff {the one I drift with} has 4 kids and moves a lot cuz her hubby is military.
Best thing I find is just randomly msg each other. If it helps, maybe make a date to chat via facetime. Helps break ice a bit.
Send random messages that you think they'd like - memes, videos, "hi thinking of you!" etc

ei34

My FIL just announced that he’s coming over tomorrow. That’s fine, the irk is that he can’t give H or me a ballpark time.  The kids and I will be in and out btwn pre-surgery stuff and mass, so i hope we don’t miss you 🤷🏻‍♀️

ETA and I told H to remind him that we’re not seeing people outside our household indoors without masks. My ILs have been Covid deniers a bit. If I’m not sitting down to a meal with my parents or siblings, all of whom have been conscientious, I’m not sitting down with him. (I will, of course, send him with food. I’m not a monster.)

VarunaTT

FFS, my co-worker that sits next to me (albeit we have a good 15 feet between us) just tested positive for covid.  I'm going to have to cancel with my parents and maybe all of my friends stuff.  I'm going to try and get a rapid test, but even if it's negative, I don't feel safe being around people this weekend.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

short+sassy

My grievance is companies that ignore my communications and/or do nothing about their blatant incompetence that steals money and time from their customers.  Cases in point:

--I have had a 6-month battle with the company that currently holds the loan that I am refinancing.  They repeatedly sent me letters that I needed to provide them with proofs of insurance for the properties.  I repeatedly sent them those proofs, including by Priority Mail with tracking.  Despite all of that, they sent me a letter that they had "force bought" insurance since I had not provided them with those proofs.  I sent e-mails.  I sent snail-mail letters.  I left beau-coup voice mail messages.  No one ever got in touch with me.

And my loan payoff that I got last week? Sure enough.  $933 for the un-needed insurance they bought.  Longer story short.  For the first time ever, I was actually able to speak to someone...like a real person, on the phone.  She pulls up my file.  Oh yes.  There are my proofs of insurance.  Right there, all along.  Unfortunately, now all of this is happening so late, that there is a good chance I'll need to be refunded for that AFTER closing.

--My local Winn Dixie grocery store, this particular location opened a few years ago.  They are NOTORIOUS for their weekly specials not ringing up correctly.  Along with "baiting and switching" items.  30-50% of the time, I find an error(s) on my receipt.  The sad thing is, how many people check their grocery receipt line item by line item so they get their money back?  Hardly anyone.  They steal at least tens of thousands of dollars from their shoppers every year and I'd actually think that number is more in the multiple 6-figures.

And it's only this WD store.  The other ones, once in awhile there is an error, but once in awhile is an accident and normal.  30-50% of the time is neither of those things.  I have personally lodged dozens of complaints over the years to management there, as well as a few times to the national corporate office.  Management always blows me off and acts like it is a "one off", despite my pointing out how RAMPANT the problem is, yet they do nothing about it.  No response from corporate.  Ever.  So I guess they don't care about some of their stores being thieves either.

kerbohl

@VarunaTT Oh no!  That is awful!  Stupid Covid!

STARMOON44

kerbohl said:

@MyNameIsNot This is the first year I got one labelled "To Mr and Mrs HubbyFullname".  Interesting ....

Are people just a little behind with the times?  I didn't change my last name either.  I did change my facebook to it though, so I do understand some confusion.

To be honest I don’t get this. If you’re Karen Smith before you get married, then after you get married you change your FB name to Karen HusbandLast, yes of course I’m going to address you as Karen HusbandLast

STARMOON44

VarunaTT said:

FFS, my co-worker that sits next to me (albeit we have a good 15 feet between us) just tested positive for covid.  I'm going to have to cancel with my parents and maybe all of my friends stuff.  I'm going to try and get a rapid test, but even if it's negative, I don't feel safe being around people this weekend.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

And unless you haven’t seen this coworker for a while it’s too soon to test which sucks so much I’m sorry!

STARMOON44

My grievance is with my sweet angel baby kitty who seems to be feeling poorly and at a time when I don’t really have time go be exploring vet hospitals. Hopefully he’ll be okay

banana468

STARMOON44 said:

kerbohl said:

@MyNameIsNot This is the first year I got one labelled "To Mr and Mrs HubbyFullname".  Interesting ....

Are people just a little behind with the times?  I didn't change my last name either.  I did change my facebook to it though, so I do understand some confusion.

To be honest I don’t get this. If you’re Karen Smith before you get married, then after you get married you change your FB name to Karen HusbandLast, yes of course I’m going to address you as Karen HusbandLast

Yup this. 

I specifically asked my cousin, "What is your legal name now?" after she got divorced because she's going by maiden name on FB and not IRL - but at Christmas card time when sending things en masse - you need to be what you want me to call you in all the places and not be pissed if I see that you changed it one public place and I go by that. 

VarunaTT

STARMOON44 said:

VarunaTT said:

FFS, my co-worker that sits next to me (albeit we have a good 15 feet between us) just tested positive for covid.  I'm going to have to cancel with my parents and maybe all of my friends stuff.  I'm going to try and get a rapid test, but even if it's negative, I don't feel safe being around people this weekend.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

And unless you haven’t seen this coworker for a while it’s too soon to test which sucks so much I’m sorry!

Yeah, I've already cancelled with my parents and the WW84 watch party.  That friend is in chemo and even masked and separated like we can in my apartment, I'm not chancing it.  I've emailed my provider to see if I can do a rapid testing, but what I'm finding is the day after Christmas for the closest.  And it would've been Monday for this coworker.  And probably seeing anyone over the long weekend really, I'm not stupid and I want to be safe and want others to be safe around me.

Grrrr.

short+sassy

VarunaTT said:

STARMOON44 said:

VarunaTT said:

FFS, my co-worker that sits next to me (albeit we have a good 15 feet between us) just tested positive for covid.  I'm going to have to cancel with my parents and maybe all of my friends stuff.  I'm going to try and get a rapid test, but even if it's negative, I don't feel safe being around people this weekend.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

And unless you haven’t seen this coworker for a while it’s too soon to test which sucks so much I’m sorry!

Yeah, I've already cancelled with my parents and the WW84 watch party.  That friend is in chemo and even masked and separated like we can in my apartment, I'm not chancing it.  I've emailed my provider to see if I can do a rapid testing, but what I'm finding is the day after Christmas for the closest.  And it would've been Monday for this coworker.  And probably seeing anyone over the long weekend really, I'm not stupid and I want to be safe and want others to be safe around me.

Grrrr.

I am so sorry to hear this news!  After the all the crap you've been going through, the last thing you need is to have your holiday plans suddenly blown up.

I hope your coworker only has a very mild case and I especially hope your test comes back negative.

short+sassy

STARMOON44 said:

My grievance is with my sweet angel baby kitty who seems to be feeling poorly and at a time when I don’t really have time go be exploring vet hospitals. Hopefully he’ll be okay

Sending positive vibes to your kitty!  Hopefully it's just something minor going through his system and he'll perk back up and be back to his normal self.

MyNameIsNot

I have another one. Today is an annoying day. 

I sent my grandma a gift that made it to her today. She called to let me know she'd gotten it and to say thank you. She also asked about a gift basket that she sent, which I'm disappointed to say has not arrived. Annoying, but NBD. I'm sure they'll find or replace it.

The reason I am annoyed is that she told me she sent my mom the same basket, and mom told her it was too much sugar and she gave it all away. I get that my mom doesn't like to eat much sugar, but damn I thought that was rude. Grandma is trying to do something nice in a weird year, and my mom can't even say thanks.  

MyNameIsNot

VarunaTT said:

STARMOON44 said:

VarunaTT said:

FFS, my co-worker that sits next to me (albeit we have a good 15 feet between us) just tested positive for covid.  I'm going to have to cancel with my parents and maybe all of my friends stuff.  I'm going to try and get a rapid test, but even if it's negative, I don't feel safe being around people this weekend.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

And unless you haven’t seen this coworker for a while it’s too soon to test which sucks so much I’m sorry!

Yeah, I've already cancelled with my parents and the WW84 watch party.  That friend is in chemo and even masked and separated like we can in my apartment, I'm not chancing it.  I've emailed my provider to see if I can do a rapid testing, but what I'm finding is the day after Christmas for the closest.  And it would've been Monday for this coworker.  And probably seeing anyone over the long weekend really, I'm not stupid and I want to be safe and want others to be safe around me.

Grrrr.

I'm so sorry this means you have to miss your plans. It's just not fair. 

banana468

I'm sorry @VarunaTT that sucks. 

@MyNameIsNot yeah that's super rude.  I'm working on this with the kids.  The appropriate thing to say to any gift you get whether you like it or not is THANK YOU. 

kerbohl

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

kerbohl said:

@MyNameIsNot This is the first year I got one labelled "To Mr and Mrs HubbyFullname".  Interesting ....

Are people just a little behind with the times?  I didn't change my last name either.  I did change my facebook to it though, so I do understand some confusion.

To be honest I don’t get this. If you’re Karen Smith before you get married, then after you get married you change your FB name to Karen HusbandLast, yes of course I’m going to address you as Karen HusbandLast

Yup this. 

I specifically asked my cousin, "What is your legal name now?" after she got divorced because she's going by maiden name on FB and not IRL - but at Christmas card time when sending things en masse - you need to be what you want me to call you in all the places and not be pissed if I see that you changed it one public place and I go by that. 

Very few people on my facebook have their actual legal names on it.  I think a lot of my contacts don't want people finding them (teachers that don't want students finding them), so since my married name is not my legal name, that's why I went with it.  I've never wanted Facebook to be my actual name.  Is that a Canadian thing?  There are SO many of my friends that do that, I would say the majority.

I'm not one of those people that get mad if someone calls me by a wrong name.  Calling me Mrs Husband Firstnamelastname was just a weird one.  It is very, very possible that this person just doesn't know my actual name due to being a distant relative, but meh!  At least she sent a card!

OliveOilsMom

Varuna - I'm so sorry that your plans have dissolved.  You are doing everything right in cancelling plans.  Sending hugs.

VarunaTT

Thanks everyone.  I've cancelled all my plans.  I'm going to do a drop off/pick up at my parents for gifts exchange on Thursday.  My attorney got me scotch for Christmas, like he does every year, and a Schitts Creek ornament.  I have a test set up at Walgreen's for Saturday, b/c that would be 6 days, so if I did catch it from her, it should show by then.  I've been told that since she is asymptomatic (her husband is not) and any of our shared spaces would've been short time frames and masked (I don't know how/where she got it), it's pretty unlikely I would have it, but I need to make sure.

I'm just kind of over this year.  

short+sassy

kerbohl said:

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

kerbohl said:

@MyNameIsNot This is the first year I got one labelled "To Mr and Mrs HubbyFullname".  Interesting ....

Are people just a little behind with the times?  I didn't change my last name either.  I did change my facebook to it though, so I do understand some confusion.

To be honest I don’t get this. If you’re Karen Smith before you get married, then after you get married you change your FB name to Karen HusbandLast, yes of course I’m going to address you as Karen HusbandLast

Yup this. 

I specifically asked my cousin, "What is your legal name now?" after she got divorced because she's going by maiden name on FB and not IRL - but at Christmas card time when sending things en masse - you need to be what you want me to call you in all the places and not be pissed if I see that you changed it one public place and I go by that. 

Very few people on my facebook have their actual legal names on it.  I think a lot of my contacts don't want people finding them (teachers that don't want students finding them), so since my married name is not my legal name, that's why I went with it.  I've never wanted Facebook to be my actual name.  Is that a Canadian thing?  There are SO many of my friends that do that, I would say the majority.

I'm not one of those people that get mad if someone calls me by a wrong name.  Calling me Mrs Husband Firstnamelastname was just a weird one.  It is very, very possible that this person just doesn't know my actual name due to being a distant relative, but meh!  At least she sent a card!

Legally, I never changed my name.  Socially, I don't care.  On FB, I have both my last name and my H's last name so anyone can find me, no matter what "stage" in life I know them from.  My mom (she's remarried) and sister have done the same with FB.

My mom is so funny.  She would never have said so, but I know she was secretly hoping I would change my last name to my H's.  Not for any societal convention.  But because my H's last name is a real word that coincidentally is related to one of her lifelong hobbies, lol. 

I'm the one who usually makes reservations for dinner/hotels/whatever, I use my last name.  Pre-COVID, I also regularly valet-parked my car at Harrah's and most of the valets knew my last name and addressed me by it.

So, between the two of us, my H is the one who gets addressed by the "wrong" last name the most often, lol.  He doesn't care and doesn't even correct people.  It makes him smile and laugh a little to be referred to as Mr. (my last name).  

banana468

kerbohl said:

banana468 said:

STARMOON44 said:

kerbohl said:

@MyNameIsNot This is the first year I got one labelled "To Mr and Mrs HubbyFullname".  Interesting ....

Are people just a little behind with the times?  I didn't change my last name either.  I did change my facebook to it though, so I do understand some confusion.

To be honest I don’t get this. If you’re Karen Smith before you get married, then after you get married you change your FB name to Karen HusbandLast, yes of course I’m going to address you as Karen HusbandLast

Yup this. 

I specifically asked my cousin, "What is your legal name now?" after she got divorced because she's going by maiden name on FB and not IRL - but at Christmas card time when sending things en masse - you need to be what you want me to call you in all the places and not be pissed if I see that you changed it one public place and I go by that. 

Very few people on my facebook have their actual legal names on it.  I think a lot of my contacts don't want people finding them (teachers that don't want students finding them), so since my married name is not my legal name, that's why I went with it.  I've never wanted Facebook to be my actual name.  Is that a Canadian thing?  There are SO many of my friends that do that, I would say the majority.

I'm not one of those people that get mad if someone calls me by a wrong name.  Calling me Mrs Husband Firstnamelastname was just a weird one.  It is very, very possible that this person just doesn't know my actual name due to being a distant relative, but meh!  At least she sent a card!

That isn't the case for my friend list.  There's a very small amount that don't have their last name listed at all (usually those are teachers) or some short abbreviation of the last name.    Nearly everyone has their actual last name listed.