How to address unmarried couples with children?

tilldeathdousclark1016

I am doing virtual save the dates. I have multiple cousins and other family members who are not married, but are in committed relationships with children.  I cannot adress them as The James Family on my save the dates as they do not have the same last name. I read to include each childs name on the invite, but I am under a time crunch for the save the dates and do not have time to get correct spelling(Facebook only helps so much) of all the childrens names. I plan to include them all on the stationary invites later, but am unsure what to do for now.
Is it appropriate to address it like this
Mr. James & Ms.Smith & Family

If not, what is appropriate? Please help!

missJeanLouise

tilldeathdousclark1016 said:

I am doing virtual save the dates. I have multiple cousins and other family members who are not married, but are in committed relationships with children.  I cannot adress them as The James Family on my save the dates as they do not have the same last name. I read to include each childs name on the invite, but I am under a time crunch for the save the dates and do not have time to get correct spelling(Facebook only helps so much) of all the childrens names. I plan to include them all on the stationary invites later, but am unsure what to do for now.
Is it appropriate to address it like this
Mr. James & Ms.Smith & Family

If not, what is appropriate? Please help!

Can you not reach out to the parents to ask if you have the correct spelling of their children's names? I know wedding planning make everything seem urgent, but it's not. Save the Dates aren't even necessary.

If it is not possible, I would say something like you have above but substitute "their children" for family so they don't interpret family as including the great aunt Maude.

ILoveBeachMusic

For save the dates I wouldn't even worry about including the children's names. As noted above save the dates aren't even necessary. For the printed invitations make sure you have the spellings correct by reaching out to the parents personally.

MyNameIsNot

Even if people are married and share a last name, "The Jones Family" is not correct. 

Save the dates aren't necessary and are better limited just to VIPs. If you don't have time to get the names before you send them, either skip them or wait until you do. 

tilldeathdousclark1016

Also, missJeanLouise said:

tilldeathdousclark1016 said:

I am doing virtual save the dates. I have multiple cousins and other family members who are not married, but are in committed relationships with children.  I cannot adress them as The James Family on my save the dates as they do not have the same last name. I read to include each childs name on the invite, but I am under a time crunch for the save the dates and do not have time to get correct spelling(Facebook only helps so much) of all the childrens names. I plan to include them all on the stationary invites later, but am unsure what to do for now.
Is it appropriate to address it like this
Mr. James & Ms.Smith & Family

If not, what is appropriate? Please help!

Can you not reach out to the parents to ask if you have the correct spelling of their children's names? I know wedding planning make everything seem urgent, but it's not. Save the Dates aren't even necessary.

If it is not possible, I would say something like you have above but substitute "their children" for family so they don't interpret family as including the great aunt Maude.

I have reached out to some of the parents, but some have not been very prompt to respond. My family is large and has many children so getting ahold of everyone is quite a task! I am definitely trying though! We are having a destination wedding and our family will have to travel for the wedding, some only live 2-3hrs from the venue but others live across the country. That is the only reason I am sending save the dates and trying to get them out in a timely manner. 

Thank you so so much for your advice! It is super helpful and I am very grateful you took the time to respond to my question:) 

tilldeathdousclark1016

MyNameIsNot said:

Even if people are married and share a last name, "The Jones Family" is not correct. 

Save the dates aren't necessary and are better limited just to VIPs. If you don't have time to get the names before you send them, either skip them or wait until you do. 

I have read it is okay to address married couples and their children as "The Jones Family" on the outer envelopes and to include all names on the inside. If this is not the case and is incorrect then how should whole familes be addressed? My fiance and I are 100% on our own with all this wedding planning stuff and any help I get is greatly appreciated. 

Our wedding is going to reguire a good amount of travel for my family so that is why I chose to send save the dates! Especially with the state of the world, I wanted to give people a little more time to decide on their plans:) 

MyNameIsNot

tilldeathdousclark1016 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

Even if people are married and share a last name, "The Jones Family" is not correct. 

Save the dates aren't necessary and are better limited just to VIPs. If you don't have time to get the names before you send them, either skip them or wait until you do. 

I have read it is okay to address married couples and their children as "The Jones Family" on the outer envelopes and to include all names on the inside. If this is not the case and is incorrect then how should whole familes be addressed? My fiance and I are 100% on our own with all this wedding planning stuff and any help I get is greatly appreciated. 

Our wedding is going to reguire a good amount of travel for my family so that is why I chose to send save the dates! Especially with the state of the world, I wanted to give people a little more time to decide on their plans:) 

A family with the same last name should be:

Mr. and Mrs. Homer and Marge Simpson
Bart, Lisa, Maggie 

A family with different last names would be the same except it starts Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Roe. Not married means you exclude the "and" and break them into different lines. 

Using "And Family" or "Jones Family" implies that anyone they consider family is invited (see Aunt Midred above), but also suggests that you don't care enough about them to learn their names. While that may be fine for holiday cards to casual acquaintances, it's rude for an invitation. 

tilldeathdousclark1016

Okay. I just saw that many sites said to address them this way so thank you for correcting me! My family is not super formal and these are just virtual save the dates, not stationary so I think everyone will be completely fine with a simplified address. I intend to make sure to address the stationary invites appropriately.  I appreciate everyones help and insight very much! 

MairePoppy

STDs are informal messages so you may use

Jane Smith and John Jones
and children

For the invitations, you will need to know how all the invitees prefer to be addressed. You'll also need those correct names for thank you notes.