Thursday

VarunaTT

Whew, my coworker just tried to convince me today was Wednesday.  

Work is still all unsettled.  I don't have access to do the new responsibilities I've been given and so those things are falling farther and farther behind.  That is a problem.  I might have to come in over the weekend to get it caught up, which isn't a big deal, I just don't care for working in the office all alone.

My back is still tweaked.  I'm going to look up some stretches to see if I can get it fixed.  Making weekend plans; not much else going on.

There is some weather here, but just light snow so far.

CharmedPam

Yes I hate complete quiet @VarunaTT

yesterday/today was bad.  My plumber could not - does not hook up dishwashers and found out after 1/2 of the water was all over my floor.  I was upset because the price I was quoted, I assumed dishwasher hook up was part of... it’s not.  But a guy he knows is coming out tonight to so it.  Also found out plumber pushed the fridge back in but did NOT plug it back in and after he left we ordered take out and I never even went into my fridge till this morning.

in all honesty, not a lot will have to be tossed because I was waiting on all this to be done before grocery  shopping... M thinks I should demand grocery  money from them but I’m not like that.  I usually don’t raise stinks.  Just fume on the downlow.

i’m more upset that I got a quote for sink hook up, water line to the fridge and dishwasher hook up... so he knew that’s what I was looking for? Even with professionals nothing goes right.

M and I also saw the movie Freaky last night. The one with Vince Vaughn. was actually pretty good.  I laughed a few times (mostly from his acting). It’s a freaky friday spin with half horror/half comedy. I hope to see more from them (Blumhouse, the movie happy death day tried to mix horror/comedy but wasnt very sucessful) 

mrsconn23

Sorry about your back!  And boo to your stuff not being updated in a timely manner.  

In solidarity, my right calf is super tight because I tweaked it during my Tuesday workout.  I had DH use the massage gun on it last night, but I still need to keep stretching in it. 

Two parenting things that came up last night that I just want to share as a 'reminder' (because I know this group knows this, but reinforcement is always good):

1. DH and DefConn had to do this video training on 'body protection' for scouts (youth protection is HUGE since, you know, they've had their pants sued off for what happened up until the early 2000's or so).  Afterward, we had DefConn list off who he could tell if there was an adult that he had concerns about.  He listed off a ton of names (family and teachers).  We also reinforced that adults never ask kids for help or ask them to 'keep secrets' because they'll get 'in trouble' and also, that it doesn't matter how close a person is to our family, that he'd never get in trouble for telling the truth. Thankfully, the thought of being abused is so foreign to him that he just looks at us like, "what?" but he also seems to understand what we're explaining to him and responds in a way that makes me think he wouldn't keep something that makes him uncomfortable to himself. 

2.  He asked what LGBTQ meant.  DH and I just rattled it off.  Actually, we stopped at T and then I circled back to Q.  I just said, "It means you don't know where you fall.  You may like boys or girls or both or aren't sure of any of it.  Everyone is on a spectrum."  He just said, "OK" and we moved on.  I reflected on it in my head a little bit later and internally chuckled about how (often ignorant, straight, cis-gender) people get to pearl-clutchy regarding 'the children' and how to answer their questions especially about things that they may not 100% understand about a community they're not a part of.  Kids often just want the simplest answer to their question.  If you try to give them a dissertation, they will just be bored and/or more confused.  It was just a good reminder that little kids don't ask complex questions and don't need complex answers.  

Also, I cannot recommend the last two episodes of the Brene Brown Unlocking Us podcast enough.  Last week was the Gottman's about their story, their research on marriage/relationships, and what they've seen shift during the pandemic.  The Gottman's reminded me of my grandparents with how cute and loving they are. This week is Roxanne Gay and Debbie Millman talking about their lives, work, and their life together as newlyweds (and their ADORABLE love story).  Those two episodes just made me smile so much. Also, I've told DH to listen to the Gottman episode so we can talk about it.  I also need to order a couple of their books. 

Whew that's a lot of writing.  SSDD otherwise.  Prudie soon.   

mrsconn23

OMG @CharmedPam, that's bullshit.  

Also, bring a bluetooth speaker or something if you have to go into the quiet office @VarunaTT.  I'm not sure I'd want earbuds in, but I'd need some noise to keep the distractions out. 

VarunaTT

@mrsconn23 and others: if you ever find yourself needing an age appropriate explaining transgender book, "Red" A Crayon's Story" by Michael Hall is really good.  I used to have a few copies, but I've given them all out and haven't restocked my supply.  I sent one to a Knottie a few years back b/c their kids had questions after seeing the transgender person on...Survivor?  My memory is starting to fade a bit, I can't remember much about the person at all now. 

mrsconn23

VarunaTT said:

@mrsconn23 and others: if you ever find yourself needing an age appropriate explaining transgender book, "Red" A Crayon's Story" by Michael Hall is really good.  I used to have a few copies, but I've given them all out and haven't restocked my supply.  I sent one to a Knottie a few years back b/c their kids had questions after seeing the transgender person on...Survivor?  My memory is starting to fade a bit, I can't remember much about the person at all now. 

I remember that.  It was 6, wasn't it?

I'll definitely check it out if more questions come up.  DefConn is a thinker.  So I won't be surprised if we're out driving one day soon or having a quiet moment and he brings it up out of the blue.  

VarunaTT

mrsconn23 said:

VarunaTT said:

@mrsconn23 and others: if you ever find yourself needing an age appropriate explaining transgender book, "Red" A Crayon's Story" by Michael Hall is really good.  I used to have a few copies, but I've given them all out and haven't restocked my supply.  I sent one to a Knottie a few years back b/c their kids had questions after seeing the transgender person on...Survivor?  My memory is starting to fade a bit, I can't remember much about the person at all now. 

I remember that.  It was 6, wasn't it?

I'll definitely check it out if more questions come up.  DefConn is a thinker.  So I won't be surprised if we're out driving one day soon or having a quiet moment and he brings it up out of the blue.  

Yes, I sent it to 6fsn here.  

Sorry, I meant I couldn't remember much about the person on the reality show.  I think it was a transman who was outed against his wishes on Survivor?  But I couldn't recall too much and in situations like that, hate being wrong with my facts.

mrsconn23

VarunaTT said:

mrsconn23 said:

VarunaTT said:

@mrsconn23 and others: if you ever find yourself needing an age appropriate explaining transgender book, "Red" A Crayon's Story" by Michael Hall is really good.  I used to have a few copies, but I've given them all out and haven't restocked my supply.  I sent one to a Knottie a few years back b/c their kids had questions after seeing the transgender person on...Survivor?  My memory is starting to fade a bit, I can't remember much about the person at all now. 

I remember that.  It was 6, wasn't it?

I'll definitely check it out if more questions come up.  DefConn is a thinker.  So I won't be surprised if we're out driving one day soon or having a quiet moment and he brings it up out of the blue.  

Yes, I sent it to 6fsn here.  

Sorry, I meant I couldn't remember much about the person on the reality show.  I think it was a transman who was outed against his wishes on Survivor?  But I couldn't recall too much and in situations like that, hate being wrong with my facts.

I believe that is correct.  I remember it being a HUGE deal and a lot of articles/thinkpieces being written about it at the time. 

MissKittyDanger

@CharmedPam Urg I'd be pissed. You should ask for something - your M is right, even grocery money on approx what you have to toss is reasonable.

@mrsconn23 Idk much about scouts but I know they had issues. What happened?
We've also been talking about stuff on kind of how we've realized about society, etc. M's cousin is mtf trans so BK may have questions eventually - especially if she sees old photos or over hears something.
We've decided to explain simple terms - basically it's a spectrum - but depending on her age, depends on how we word it.
{Basic term I saw online "some boys like boys, some girls like girls. We are nice to everyone"}

MissKittyDanger

Idk if I've mentioned, but my stomach has been weird past few days. I don't often get cramps, so it could be that or stomach just being weird. I even took restora-lax because I wasn't sure that couldn't be a solution {blegh, so gross!}
Anyways, last night I'm lying on my back and Penny hops up. I was lowkey thrilled because she's fat and warm - so a heating pad. She lays on my stomach, and then starts kneading into where my stomach has been uncomfortable.
The area gurgles, and then settles. She lay there for a bit, then left.
MAGIC CAT!

Idk wtf happened, but I'm so grateful. My stomach was so puffed, I looked 3m pregnant lol

banana468

MissKittyDanger said:

@CharmedPam Urg I'd be pissed. You should ask for something - your M is right, even grocery money on approx what you have to toss is reasonable.

@mrsconn23 Idk much about scouts but I know they had issues. What happened?
We've also been talking about stuff on kind of how we've realized about society, etc. M's cousin is mtf trans so BK may have questions eventually - especially if she sees old photos or over hears something.
We've decided to explain simple terms - basically it's a spectrum - but depending on her age, depends on how we word it.
{Basic term I saw online "some boys like boys, some girls like girls. We are nice to everyone"}

At the risk of jumping into this instead of @mrsconn23 the Scouts went through huge issues and lawsuits where counselors were sexually abusing the kids in multiple troops.    It happened a LONG time ago and even when DH was in scouts in the 90s FIL said that there were ALWAYS two adults with kids at a time if there was a closed door situation.   Scouts recently declared bankruptcy in an effort to protect their financial interests and keep the organization going. 

MyNameIsNot

Rainy day here. Blah, I liked the nice day yesterday better. 

I forgot until this morning that I'd made plans to have a friend over tonight. She's usually pretty flaky, so I kind of thought she'd cancel. So I'm scrambling to tidy up and come up with a meal. I'm excited to see her. We've been friends for 20 years, but don't get to see each other much anymore. 

mrsconn23

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@CharmedPam Urg I'd be pissed. You should ask for something - your M is right, even grocery money on approx what you have to toss is reasonable.

@mrsconn23 Idk much about scouts but I know they had issues. What happened?
We've also been talking about stuff on kind of how we've realized about society, etc. M's cousin is mtf trans so BK may have questions eventually - especially if she sees old photos or over hears something.
We've decided to explain simple terms - basically it's a spectrum - but depending on her age, depends on how we word it.
{Basic term I saw online "some boys like boys, some girls like girls. We are nice to everyone"}

At the risk of jumping into this instead of @mrsconn23 the Scouts went through huge issues and lawsuits where counselors were sexually abusing the kids in multiple troops.    It happened a LONG time ago and even when DH was in scouts in the 90s FIL said that there were ALWAYS two adults with kids at a time if there was a closed door situation.   Scouts recently declared bankruptcy in an effort to protect their financial interests and keep the organization going. 

Yup, this.  The lawsuit was settled last year, I think.  But yeah, always 2 adults with kids and kids more than 2 grades apart can't be alone together.  Some other stuff too.  As a leader, I had to go through intense Youth Protection training. 

charlotte989875

Baby M had his 6 month appointment today- he’s huge and doing great. They suggested I cut out dairy though because he’s having some gas issues. I love mac and cheese so much it will be a hard 6-9months until he’s full time on solid foods. 

Work is finally slowing down and it feels good to not be so stressed all the time! 

ei34

Healing vibes @VarunaTT, @mrsconn23, @MissKittyDanger
Ugh I’d be pissed about the plumber @CharmedPam! More so for the fridge than even the dishwasher stuff. 

Another parenting /lgbtq tip (though I’m certainly not an expert) is to normalize all kinds of relationships/people in everyday conversation, as opposed to waiting for specific questions (although when my kids are Defconn’s age I imagine there will be actual questions, your answer sounded amazing @mrsconn23).  For example, last week was H and my wedding anniversary, I was showing the kids the album I keep in the attic.  My 5-year-old said “ooh I can’t wait to get married and wear a white dress and have a big cake!” and I said “yes if you meet a good woman or man who loves you and respects you, you can choose to get married and I can’t wait to come to your wedding!”. I try to slip in inclusive words whenever the opportunity arises.  

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

@CharmedPam Urg I'd be pissed. You should ask for something - your M is right, even grocery money on approx what you have to toss is reasonable.

@mrsconn23 Idk much about scouts but I know they had issues. What happened?
We've also been talking about stuff on kind of how we've realized about society, etc. M's cousin is mtf trans so BK may have questions eventually - especially if she sees old photos or over hears something.
We've decided to explain simple terms - basically it's a spectrum - but depending on her age, depends on how we word it.
{Basic term I saw online "some boys like boys, some girls like girls. We are nice to everyone"}

At the risk of jumping into this instead of @mrsconn23 the Scouts went through huge issues and lawsuits where counselors were sexually abusing the kids in multiple troops.    It happened a LONG time ago and even when DH was in scouts in the 90s FIL said that there were ALWAYS two adults with kids at a time if there was a closed door situation.   Scouts recently declared bankruptcy in an effort to protect their financial interests and keep the organization going. 

Oh yikes!
I heard bits and pieces, but not enough to really understand what happened. M wasn't in scouts {he did cadets} but there was apparently question and issues when his brother was considering it.

STARMOON44

Our state requires that schools teach that a) LGBTQ people exist and b) that they have made positive contributions to society and my goodness the level of opposition from some parents. 

levioosa

Lol to not wanting to work in quiet. I’m desperate for quiet at work. Working five hours over OT the other night without anyone else in the clinic except my manager was heaven. I got so much done. 

@CharmedPam as the daughter of a professional, that is all bullshit and unacceptable. In what world can a plumber not hook back up a dishwasher? Especially when that was expressly part of the quote? 

@VarunaTT and @mrsconn23 I hope your injuries recover quickly!

I did my hike last night with FSIL A. I’m glad we stuck to our guns and didn’t go over there on Sunday. It was a mess. FBIL turned into the house guest that wouldn’t leave (until Tuesday!) and he unexpectedly brought over his gf and they got into horrible fights. I was like I don’t know what to tell you; on our end what happened with disappointing, hurtful and disrespectful of our time and plans. On your end you need to learn boundaries. I don’t understand the hold FBIL has on the family. He has the most dark and twisted energy and stuff always goes south when he’s around. I’m done with it. He’s never going to change and it’s a dangerous, toxic environment to be around. The older I get the more surprised I am at how people have such a hard time putting boundaries and cutting off toxic people. 

Otherwise, SSDD. Hike tonight and I’m so glad tomorrow is Friday. 

short+sassy

@CharmedPam, it's probably too late but, if your fridge/freezer was off for less than one day, most of the stuff in it will be fine.  Since it wasn't opened, it retains the cold for a long time.  Especially the freezer.  But yeah, that guy really sucked.

Words to the wise for all, especially with anything construction related, have a signed quote/contract/ or scope of work that outlines EVERYTHING you are expecting.  It doesn't have to be fancy.  I usually use (or request) a bulleted list.  It's clear, concise, and both parties can look at it in a glance, to see what needs to be done. 

This week seems like the longest ever.  I have only had one half-day off in the last 6 weeks and it wasn't even relaxing time off.  I keep repeating to myself, "I just need to get through today, then a half day tomorrow, then my 4-day weekend.  I can do it."  Lol.  I'm extra glad it's Prudie Day.  I really need the extra entertainment!

I did another one of my gas station audits last night and I have another one I need to do either today or tomorrow.  It ended up being unusual!  The audits involve a lot of pictures.  Including one of each pump.  Those are sometimes the biggest and most time consuming hassle to get, because a car shouldn't be blocking it.

The first thing I'm required to do is pump about two gallons of gas into my own vehicle.  This is an especially big station (16 pumps and nicely spread out).  So I just got there and I'm pumping my gas.  I can hear a SCREAMING argument coming from the other long end of the pumps.  Then I go do my retail part in the convenience store.  Take a bunch of pictures in there.  I overheard the manager tell one of the employees that she had called the police.  They come pretty quickly and are talking to the two women involved in the verbal altercation.  One of whom is parked at Pump #14.

I continue with my audit.  Trotting around the lot.  Taking all my pics.  I was there for about 40 minutes doing everything else, but the police and the woman at that pump were STILL there when I left.  Normally, I would have done my best to take whatever pic I could of the pump.  Because it's mind boggling how many people "hang out" at gas stations for 30+ minutes at a time.  I'd say about half my audits, I need to do something like that because a vehicle hasn't moved the whole time I'm there.

But, in this situation, I wasn't going anywhere NEAR that tense situation.  Especially with my phone out to take pics.  I took a picture of one of the police cars.  And even that I did as "under the radar" as I could.  For my report, I uploaded a pic of the police car instead of that pump and then explained in the comments, lol.

I actually drive past this station back and forth to work, so I'm going to take a pic of that pump today, jic they won't accept my report without it.  They're usually cool about it, if there is an explanation.  But not always. 

Casadena

Dropoff was a little shakier today - i think G is realizing this is a normal thing now and that we leave once he's in the classroom.  I'm struggling with dinners now that we only have 2-3 hours with him in the evening and I don't want to spend all of that time cooking and eating.  Anyone have any go-to super quick/relatively healthy meals?  I need to just start meal planning more, but these next couple weeks at work are nuts and I just have the energy to devote to that atm.  

SIL told me last night that she lost another pregnancy.  ~5 weeks this time, but still devastating.  My heart is just breaking for them and I hate that there's nothing we can do to help.  Any positive vibes/thoughts or prayers you have to spare would be greatly appreciated.  

levioosa

I’m so sorry @Casadena. Hugs and positive thoughts for your and your family. 

ILoveBeachMusic

So sorry about your SIL @Casadena. You must feel helpless. 

Not much today. Still cold here so I'm curled up in front of the fire working on Italian. H has been exposed to Covid. He was in a meeting on Sunday (masked and socially distant). One of the attendees tested positive on Wednesday. H has a test schedule for Saturday. If he tests negative, he will do another a few days later. Fingers crossed he will be negative. He rarely does anything with people and wouldn't you know this would happen. He has his vaccine scheduled for March 12th so I don't know how that is affected if he is positive.

I've been binging Lucifer the last couple of weeks. I'm hooked. We've also been watching The Americans.

OliveOilsMom

Varuna - Thanks for the book rec!  I will put it on DDs list!

Pam - I'd be pissed!  I would ask for grocery money just because your quote included the dishwasher hook up and he didn't do it.  Does this other plumber need to be paid to hook up the dishwasher?

Levioosa - Is FBIL the youngest?  I've learned that many times the baby of the family is always forgiven for bad behavior.  I can't believe he just stayed for 3 days!

We did our deep clean of the bedroom last night, which didn't take too long since H and I worked together.  He had no knew bites this morning, but he current bites turned into welts though and are really itchy.  He woke up at 1 am with the itches, but the prescription cream was able to calm it down and he got back to sleep.

Today, I am giving blood and then going to the eye doctor.  I will probably then swing by to get DD from daycare, since I will be closer than H.  I will do yoga tonight too.

short+sassy

@Casadena, I'm sorry to hear about your SIL.  I know they have been through a lot.  Sending Ts and Ps they have success with her next pregnancy.

@ILoveBeachMusic, good luck to your H!  Masked and socially distanced should make it unlikely, but I know it is still scary.

I LOVED the show Lucifer!  I saw every episode.  It ended way too soon.

levioosa

@OliveOilsMom he’s the second youngest (FSIL A is the youngest) and the self proclaimed (and self inflicted) “black sheep” of the family. 

CharmedPam

Lol @short+sassy when I did those mystery shops I got them sent back to me to redo with “not enough description” as the reason.  I could Perez Hilton that one out!!
”and then she said... and then the other woman said.. then THIS happened.. which invovled the police to come and...oh yeah, the gas is fine. I think.  Who really knows after all that?”

Sorry about your mac ‘n cheese loss, @charlotte989875, maybe you can sneak some in on the side?  I saw a meme yesterday and cant refind it but it had some pictures of women eating in their car with “if you see a woman eating something strange at the red lights, chances are she has kids at home and doesn’t want to share”... or in your case can’t share!

here’s my time line:
- order appoiances from home depot and my Dad says dont pay for installation.  He can do it.
-appliances get delivered and Dad looks at it, says he cant now. Home Depot delivery guys say I didnt pay for installation and they don’t have time to install. For some reason one hose was hooked up though?
- kitchen isnt done yet, but I call around for quotes about hooking things back up. Told the plumber what I needed. But its not just a plumbing place!  They so all, heating/cooling/plumbing...
- i get a verbal quote, but I forget what’s in it so I do call the shop and ask for an email copy. Receptionist said she would, but never did.  I forgot to follow up and ask doe it again.  This ones on me, I know.
- plumber comes out. Sees one line hooked up and thinks home depot hooked it up properly.  They didn’t, my kitchen is flooded from it.  He says for liability reasons they dont “do dishwashers” but knows a guy.  Why wasnt that mentioned in my run down? I really dont know whats involved in a dishwasher and fridge hook up!

kvruns

@Casadena sorry to hear about your SIL

@charlotte989875 could you do mac n cheese with vegan cheese? I've never tried it myself but maybe it would work if you have a craving

kvruns

I blew my diet on a big cookie today - Nutella filled sugar cookie from Crumbl. I didn't care for their other cookies the first time we tried it but I couldn't resist a nutella one and man this was good! I almost wish it wasn't very good just so I wouldn't be tempted anymore

charlotte989875

kvruns said:

@Casadena sorry to hear about your SIL

@charlotte989875 could you do mac n cheese with vegan cheese? I've never tried it myself but maybe it would work if you have a craving

This is what I’m hoping we can do occasionally. Thankfully they don’t think it’s an allergy, more like a lactose intolerance so if we slip up it’s not a serious problem. 

short+sassy

kvruns said:

I blew my diet on a big cookie today - Nutella filled sugar cookie from Crumbl. I didn't care for their other cookies the first time we tried it but I couldn't resist a nutella one and man this was good! I almost wish it wasn't very good just so I wouldn't be tempted anymore

You were talking about that cookie the other day, lol (yesterday?).  I'm glad you had a chance to try it!

I just finished placing a pick-up order for tomorrow from a nearby restaurant.  A whole muffaletta and a large Pimm's cup (serves 4).  It's been a Friday special for a few months, but I keep forgetting to order it ahead of time.  I'm glad I finally remembered and am looking forward to a delicious dinner tomorrow night!

For those of you who have not had one, Pimm's is a spice and fruit-flavored gin-based liquor.  Usually mixed with ginger ale (sometimes lemonade).  I find most cocktails overly sweet, but this one is strikes a good balance of some sweet (not cloying) with sour and is refreshing.

banana468

Hugs for the giving up dairy.  I have friends who did the elimination diets for themselves to try to help the kiddos and it's rough giving up what you love. 

FWIW, I've found that some cruciferous veggies also triggered gas in the kiddos.