I am simply coming here to either make me feel better about the situation or get advice on how I should be feeling. Here is my story:
My boyfriend (32yrs) and I (29yrs) have been dating for over a year (met Dec 2019) and have known probably about 3-4 months into our relationship that we would get married on day. This is something we've talked about and discussed openly together. It's never really been something we've brought to the family dinner table and told everyone about.
Well my brother (27 yrs) met his girlfriend July of 2020. About two months into them dating they started talking about marriage openly with the family. I personally thought it was a little soon, but just brushed it off as his future fiance is quite the planner. She is 22 years old I should mention. Come to find out about a month ago that my brother is planning on proposing to her May 2021 (already has the ring) as they want to get married in June of 2022. They will have been dating for less than a year. I should also mention she's been engaged twice prior.
Now here's my frustration. I found out yesterday that my boyfriend was planning a proposal (although he didn't make a "public" announcement about it like my brother did) for earlier this year and now has decided to wait so he doesn't steal my brother's spotlight. While I too want to ensure that we have our own moment and spotlight, I feel now I will have have to wait till after my brother gets married to get married myself. I'm not worried about our engagements overlapping, I'm more worried about the weddings being too close together. We want an outdoor wedding in Montana and anyone who knows Montana, knows summer is really the only opportunity for that. I'm now thinking Summer 2023 is when we are going to have to wait to have our wedding so we each get our moments and don't step on anyone's toes.
While timing for me typically wouldn't be an issue, my boyfriend and I have already discussed wanting to have 3 kids and my brother knows this. If the timeline above plays out, I would be 31 when I get married. My main fear is that waiting for my brother to have his moment is going to affect my chances of having three kids, as biologically, the clock is against me. Not to mention wanting to enjoy our marriage before jumping into making babies immediately.
My brother's girlfriend is 22 she has plenty of time to have kids without having this fear. Is it irrational of me to be frustrated about this? I've had multiple conversations with my brother about it and he has zero interest in taking my thoughts into consideration or waiting any longer to propose. He claims him and his girlfriend have talked about it before me and my boyfriend have and that it was well known his timing, however just because he can sit around the dinner table sharing their wedding plans two months into dating does not mean my boyfriend and I have not have those same conversations privately.
I appreciate your thoughts on this!