Wedding Woes

Get a hotel room? Move out?

Dear Prudence,

I am a recent college graduate who just moved back in with my parents after finishing my degree, and I’m struggling with the transition back to living at home again. In particular, I was used to being able to have sex whenever I wanted in my old apartment at school. Now, though, I never get the house to myself! My parents always seem to be home, and they never go on vacations or even day trips like a lot of my friends’ parents seem to. I really don’t want to share specifics of my sex life with my parents, but it would be nice to have the place to myself on occasion, even just once a month or so. Any advice on how to deal with this?

— Sexually Frustrated

Re: Get a hotel room? Move out?

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Like the title says: go to the partner’s place? Hotel? Or stay celebate until you’re out.

    charlotte989875ILoveBeachMusicMesmrEwe
  • I find it hilarious that LW is like, "My parents are always home...at their house!" and wants them to spend money on weekend trips or whatever so LW can have sexy times w/o them around.  It's truly not how it works. 

    LW, it's going to cost you one way or another.  Either you have sex at your parent's home with them there and deal with the questions/fallout (and the possibility they'll ask you not to engage in sexual activity in their home); OR you start shelling out for a hotel room or find some other arrangement for having sex. 

    Why did you choose to move back home knowing your sex life and privacy are important to you?  Personally, I think LW should be looking for their own place.  
    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • Before people move out, how do you think we do it?
    I've been caught with an ex in the shower. I have had sex outside multiple times because M & both lived at home still.
    If partner has a vehicle, TAKE ADVANTAGE.
    short+sassy
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    How is this a Prudie letter? 

    Maybe surprise your parents and pay for them to have a weekend away. 
    MissKittyDangercharlotte989875
  • Yes, LW, your parents get to stay in their own house as much as they want.  If you don't like it, you are welcome to move out.

    If you aren't ready to move out yet, then take some of the beaucoup money you are saving by living with them and treat yourself to a stay-cation, once a month.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    charlotte989875MissKittyDanger
  • LW, you didn't HAVE to move home.  You are a college graduate and have tons of options for dealing with this "problem".  Grow up and deal with it. 
    geebee908short+sassy
  • Isn't this one of the reasons that there are a ton of songs that have to do with sex in a motor vehicle?  

    Either talk to your parents and ask if you can have overnight guests with no questions asked or start to make plans that get you out of the house.  

    Or move out.  
    MissKittyDanger
  • Casadena said:
    LW, you didn't HAVE to move home.  You are a college graduate and have tons of options for dealing with this "problem".  Grow up and deal with it. 
    Devil's advocate on bolded - depends on what they took.
    M had a job right away. I only got a job from my college course 7 years later because the qualifications are stupid.
  • mrsconn23 said:
    I find it hilarious that LW is like, "My parents are always home...at their house!" and wants them to spend money on weekend trips or whatever so LW can have sexy times w/o them around.  It's truly not how it works. 
    This is where I am.  LW, why should your parents go away?!  You go away, omg.  

    Has anyone seen the SNL "Twin Bed" song?  That's what this reminds me of.  TMI but even if my parents were in NH or something, I always felt a bit weird in college/my early 20s before I moved out having sex in my parents' home.  My parents weren't particularly strict, "wait til marriage!" types, but still.  
    banana468mrsconn23
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Omg can you believe her parents have the audacity to not leave their house?! 

    LW can move out. Otherwise, shut the hell up and get creative. 
    charlotte989875STARMOON44
  • My parents were "wait until you're married" types or at least "lalalalalalalait'snothappeninglalalalala" types.

    And I still managed to make it work.  When you don't have your own place you know you need to be quiet.  Hell, having kids you can't exactly scream from the rafters.

    (I know.  My daughter once came upstairs and said, "Dad is mom OK?  I hear her whimpering.") 
    mrsconn23charlotte989875levioosaei34
  • Casadena said:
    LW, you didn't HAVE to move home.  You are a college graduate and have tons of options for dealing with this "problem".  Grow up and deal with it. 
    Devil's advocate on bolded - depends on what they took.
    M had a job right away. I only got a job from my college course 7 years later because the qualifications are stupid.
    I meant that more as "youre smart enough to have graduated college, you can figure out this problem."
    mrsconn23charlotte989875STARMOON44
  • Casadena said:
    Casadena said:
    LW, you didn't HAVE to move home.  You are a college graduate and have tons of options for dealing with this "problem".  Grow up and deal with it. 
    Devil's advocate on bolded - depends on what they took.
    M had a job right away. I only got a job from my college course 7 years later because the qualifications are stupid.
    I meant that more as "youre smart enough to have graduated college, you can figure out this problem."
    Oh I figured. But I know so many people who had to move home because of costs :\ 

    It wasn't you, more like the "general you"
  • Casadena said:
    Casadena said:
    LW, you didn't HAVE to move home.  You are a college graduate and have tons of options for dealing with this "problem".  Grow up and deal with it. 
    Devil's advocate on bolded - depends on what they took.
    M had a job right away. I only got a job from my college course 7 years later because the qualifications are stupid.
    I meant that more as "youre smart enough to have graduated college, you can figure out this problem."
    Oh I figured. But I know so many people who had to move home because of costs :\ 

    It wasn't you, more like the "general you"
    Yeah - costs can be hard both finding the first apartment or buying.  Heck - DH and I comment that his parents built their house 50 years ago with neither MIL nor FIL graduating from college and now we cannot afford to buy homes in that town.

    But FFS - you can find solutions to get it on.   
    MissKittyDangerCasadena
  • banana468 said:
    Casadena said:
    Casadena said:
    LW, you didn't HAVE to move home.  You are a college graduate and have tons of options for dealing with this "problem".  Grow up and deal with it. 
    Devil's advocate on bolded - depends on what they took.
    M had a job right away. I only got a job from my college course 7 years later because the qualifications are stupid.
    I meant that more as "youre smart enough to have graduated college, you can figure out this problem."
    Oh I figured. But I know so many people who had to move home because of costs :\ 

    It wasn't you, more like the "general you"
    Yeah - costs can be hard both finding the first apartment or buying.  Heck - DH and I comment that his parents built their house 50 years ago with neither MIL nor FIL graduating from college and now we cannot afford to buy homes in that town.
    My nana and poppa built their house in the '50s - I looked it up. It's one of the million dollar homes here O_O
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