**knock, knock** Is it Thursday in here?

mrsconn23

Good morning!  This week has been absolutely insane and yesterday was the height of it all.  Everything was happening at once (work and personal).  So glad today seems calmer and I'm WFH.  

I've been on the phone with customer service from my cell phone company for an hour.  I'd normally be twitchy about it, but my CS rep was great and got my account fixed up.  Plus, he's promised a call back tomorrow for follow-up.  In related news, we got DefConn a phone line.  

Looking over Prudie.  SSDD otherwise.  

charlotte989875

I think it’s Thursday? I really have no idea anymore. 

I’m behind at work. I’m not screwing up or anything but late in getting things to people and I hate that feeling. I’m a chronic over promiser and it bites me in the ass and lil my own fault. 

kerbohl

Really looking forward to Prudie today.  I need a distraction from life.  Hubby is talking about wanting a break from marriage but still wants to stay in the house so he might be hinting at trying to kick me out. But claims it is to "make things better", whatever that means.  One rabbit has a cold, the other got a cut on his neck that won't heal because he keeps pawing at it.  Just had half of the training class I am teaching at work quit, and I'm fielding my kitchen reno on my own (which ... if I'm not at the house, who's doing that then, makes no sense).  

I want to ruminate over other people's problems today.

STARMOON44

kerbohl said:

Really looking forward to Prudie today.  I need a distraction from life.  Hubby is talking about wanting a break from marriage but still wants to stay in the house so he might be hinting at trying to kick me out. But claims it is to "make things better", whatever that means.  One rabbit has a cold, the other got a cut on his neck that won't heal because he keeps pawing at it.  Just had half of the training class I am teaching at work quit, and I'm fielding my kitchen reno on my own (which ... if I'm not at the house, who's doing that then, makes no sense).  

I want to ruminate over other people's problems today.

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that he is delusional enough to think he can kick you out and that two bunnies are poorly!

charlotte989875

Ugh @kerbohl that all sounds awful. 

mrsconn23

Oh no @kerbohl.  I'm so sorry.  That's a lot at once.  ((hugs)) 

kerbohl

When it rains, it pours, right?  Also, sorry that I've only been "lurking" as of late.  A lot of you have a lot going on as well, and I do hope that things get better!

MNNEBride

Oh @kerbohl, I'm so sorry.

missJeanLouise

@kerbohl that is too much. I am sorry you are going through it. 

DS's eye is looking better but still not great. I am hoping all these antibiotics will maybe even clear up his sinus shit, idk. It feels like he has had a cough for months.

DD is 6 months old today. Time means nothing anymore.

I am feeling a certain kind of way about my mom recently. I wish I could have a relationship with her without crying but idk how. And I feel like I have too much on my plate at the moment to deal with it.

Casadena

Ugh, @kerbohl that so hard and I'm sorry you're dealing with it.

short+sassy

@kerbohl, I'm so sorry to hear that.  I've heard that sometimes a break can help a marriage.  But if he's the one who thinks it will help, then he's the one who should leave.  Unless there is a good reason he should be the one to stay, it's outrageous he expects you to go.  I hope your two rabbits feel better soon.  Why did half the training class quit?  Like quit their jobs or just the class?  That sounds nuts!  And feel free to ignore my questions if they are too personal/identifying, lol.

The caseworker for my S8 tenant who is moving in today still didn't send us the HAP contract (sigh).

Rant:

I had another tenant send me a text message last night that they can't pay their rent until the 12th (eyeroll).  It's especially concerning because they just moved in a few months ago.   I'm pretty easygoing about someone being a few days late, but the 12th is almost halfway through the month!  And there are THREE adults living there!  Combined, they make about 4x the monthly rent, so the rent should very comfortably fit in their budget.  But not even a partial payment.  NOTHING.  Very concerning.

At any rate, I thanked her for letting me know what was going on.  But also gave her a heads up that we'd be putting a Pay or Quit notice in their mailbox, but I would make sure it was dated through at least the 12th.  Which is my nice way of saying, "If you don't pay by the 12th (Friday), I'm filing for an eviction on the 15th (Monday)."  Technically, they will have until Sunday, 8/14.  I certainly don't think it will come to that.  But they've obviously made paying rent a low priority, so I definitely foresee future problems.  Not happy about that at all, but I can't go back in time and choose different tenants, so I'll hope for the best and that they don't become a recurring problem.

It just gets frustrating. When vetting tenants, I do everything right!  I directly call employers for job/income verifications.  The combined household needs to make at least 3x the monthly rent or close to it.  I call their current or previous landlady and also check property records to make sure I'm speaking to the right person.  I conduct background checks with TransUnion SmartMove.  That service picks up nationwide court-ordered evictions and a prior eviction is a rejection.

While I have definitely dodged some (probably) terrible tenants and liars with those steps, I still get stuck with situations like this.  Sometimes much worse.

Casadena

We were supposed to start a new treatment phase yesterday but G's white cell count was too low for chemo, so we have a week off meds and are going back next week to start.  He's feeling good still he just has no way to fight infection if he would get something so probably laying low til next week for sure.  H and i stayed up too late last night chatting and giggling - totally worth it - but i'm exhausted today.  Debating on a lunchtime workout or a nap in my car.  

missJeanLouise

@Casadena I vote Nap.

mrsconn23

@Casadena, team nap.  

charlotte989875

Also team nap @Casadena!

MissKittyDanger

@Casadena team nap

@kerbohl oh jeez *hugs*

climbingsingle

@kerbohl I'm sorry. But if he wants a break, then HE can leave. 

So ready for this week to be over. I'm exhausted. WFH tomorrow and then heading to AC tomorrow. 

MissKittyDanger

Not much up.
I'm 95% done my side of buying BK back to school stuff.
I've decided her current lunch stuff is fine but I'll wait until probably black friday to buy the lunch kit with a thermos as it's not always that cold until more December.

I do need to pick up extra shoes for indoors - the slip on van style is ideal for that.


M & I are also considering a couch and love seat instead of a new sectional.
I may buy an ottoman later - we're not at a coffee table point yet but it'd be nice for the option. So I'm looking at potentially getting the ottoman type that has storage but you can also flip for a table piece?

Anyways this is set we're considering - there's a few

Merlin Sofa and Loveseat Set - Grey | Leon's (leons.ca)

In the corner where our current couch connects, we'll be getting a side table. I'm a little excited for space lol Debating between a wax warmer or maybe candle?
It's in a side enough spot BK wouldn't get it, and if it's a candle it wouldn't be lit when she's awake likely anyways.

Tomorrow M is going to a football game with SFIL
He's having a talk about BIL & SIL - since BIL has cut us out, we want IL's to stop bringing them up around BK
This will include no gifts for BK from them. If they do, the gifts stay at IL's place.

SFIL told BIL he won't get to see BK when BIL cut off M, and BIL seems acceptable of that.
SFIL just texted saying that BIL & SIL facetimed - they're in France - and I know repercussions of this is BK will be asking about them now. Which how do I explain that to BK when we barely understand it?

This is all more frustrating than it should be and it just makes me sad.
At least when my dad and aunt didn't speak, we still saw them at holidays for family stuff - which BIL & SIL won't even do.

VarunaTT

@Casadena Nap.

@kerbohl I'm so sorry.  That's all so tough to deal with.

Well, Tuesday was an absolute disaster.  My father went into the ER around 7:30 am, I met him there.  We were in the ER until around 4, then admitted to the hospital.  TL;DR b/c I'm tired of talking about it: he's not coming home and decisions will be made on that foundation.  I stayed home yesterday b/c I was exhausted and needed to take time to decompress and process or I might've just lost it absolutely at work.  Also, just having to people that much in such a stressful situation was something I found I had difficulty handling.  And since, for me, not being in control of emotions usually transfers to anger, I chose to protect myself and everyone else.  I stayed home, snuggled with my neighbor's dog, and just watched TV and ate junk food.

I'm back at work today, playing catch up.  My crew at work has been really supportive and just sweet.  Trying to get my personal life (still having to deal with allergy shots, still need to do a home sleep study) organized around this massive hole of unknown and still keep it together.

short+sassy

@VarunaTT, I'm sorry to hear about your dad.  I'm glad your work and coworkers are being understanding.  Also glad you happen to be watching your neighbor's dog.  Dogs are masters at cuddling and making people feel better.

CharmedPam

Sheesh! A lot going on for you all
@kerbohl I’m so sorry! Was this sprung on you or did you kind of think it was coming? I vaguely remember some rockiness awhile back… or was that someone
 else? Either way, he wants a separation he can find a new place!
@Casadena hopefully all goes well next week.  Keep us updated.
@VarunaTT sorry to hear about your dad. We’re here if you need us. I’m glad you know when you need to take your own mental health day.

banana468

@kerbohl I'm sorry and I'm with everyone else.  If your H needs some space then he can find it not in your house.  Also, I hate to be a Debbie Downer but if this is something he's considering consider talking to a lawyer/accountant on your finances JIC.

@VarunaTT I'm so sorry about your dad. 

@CharmedPam I didn't comment yesterday and I am so sorry for what you're going through too.

It's our anniversary today.  15 years!  DH and I agreed on no gifts.  I did get him Reece's PB cups because that's the way to his heart.  I'm working now but the kids have an overnight with the ILs and we're off tomorrow.

Side note - Chiquita just UNLOADED on me over MIL last night.  One day that kid is going to be in a relationship and the person's going to say, "When did I ever do something wrong," and hoo-boy her mind a steel vault.  I told DH that this is an issue and if he doesn't address his mom Chiquita will and that's going to go over like a fart in church.  I don't like putting the man in a bad space but I don't know if he's understanding the ticking time bomb that is our daughter's temper on the precipice of adolescence and confidence as a young woman.  And my life is going to resemble even more an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.  

climbingsingle

@VarunaTT I'm so sorry about your dad. Sending you love. 

MissKittyDanger

Folks .... is it a full moon? What is happening lately?

mrsconn23

((hugs)) @VarunaTT

CharmedPam

How we feeling about Brittney Griner’s 9 year sentence?

Casadena

@VarunaTT sending lots of love. 

mrsconn23

CharmedPam said:

How we feeling about Brittney Griner’s 9 year sentence?

It's bullshit and I hope they can make the swap happen.  

Also, I hope the WNBA/NBA can really make progress toward pay equity and whatnot so that WNBA players and also, younger/rookie NBA players, don't have to go play overseas and put themselves at the mercy of another country.  I'm sure Russia isn't the only sketch place these players have to go to in the off-season.  

I firmly see her as a victim of a bad, racist, sexist, bigoted system that failed her. 

VarunaTT

MissKittyDanger said:

Folks .... is it a full moon? What is happening lately?

Honestly, I think we're starting to see what it looks like when a hundreds of thousands of people have been living under stressful outside circumstances for months on end into a couple of years.  I think there's a lot of us walking around with getting damn close to PTSD levels of stress and triggers and it's filtering down into physical health issues now too, while the healthcare system is still reeling and isn't finished with a pandemic yet. 

One of my clients who is in healthcare was talking about how they are still playing catch up from all of the closings, but now had people coming in who had to delay for that time and their conditions are worse than if they had been treated in a timely  manner. 

I had a friend who told me this is what it felt like when she was a military wife and partners were away at war and the women just sat around drinking coffee, b/c WTF else can you do?

I think this is what is looks like when people start to break....and I think there are literally millions of us breaking.

charlotte989875

VarunaTT said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Folks .... is it a full moon? What is happening lately?

Honestly, I think we're starting to see what it looks like when a hundreds of thousands of people have been living under stressful outside circumstances for months on end into a couple of years.  I think there's a lot of us walking around with getting damn close to PTSD levels of stress and triggers and it's filtering down into physical health issues now too, while the healthcare system is still reeling and isn't finished with a pandemic yet. 

One of my clients who is in healthcare was talking about how they are still playing catch up from all of the closings, but now had people coming in who had to delay for that time and their conditions are worse than if they had been treated in a timely  manner. 

I had a friend who told me this is what it felt like when she was a military wife and partners were away at war and the women just sat around drinking coffee, b/c WTF else can you do?

I think this is what is looks like when people start to break....and I think there are literally millions of us breaking.

I think this is exactly it. And being in Buffalo it’s weird- so many people are walking around in an active state of trauma but like we’re all trying to go about our lives like things are fine. Nothing is fine. 

I have to say I’m so effing glad I started therapy when I did. I have no idea how I would have made it otherwise. 

banana468

mrsconn23 said:

CharmedPam said:

How we feeling about Brittney Griner’s 9 year sentence?

It's bullshit and I hope they can make the swap happen.  

Also, I hope the WNBA/NBA can really make progress toward pay equity and whatnot so that WNBA players and also, younger/rookie NBA players, don't have to go play overseas and put themselves at the mercy of another country.  I'm sure Russia isn't the only sketch place these players have to go to in the off-season.  

I firmly see her as a victim of a bad, racist, sexist, bigoted system that failed her. 

Seriously!

Let's put things in perspective.  I'm a graduate of UConn that eats, sleeps and breathes basketball. In my four years there the men won one national championship and the women won two.

UConn is a state University and its employees are paid for with CT state tax dollars.  Geno Auriemma is the coach of the women's team and makes $600,000 as a base salary.  

Sue Bird who was one of the women that played while I was a student and went on to have a career as a professional makes a reported $72,000 a year.   

I'll buy arguments that salary can also be based on viewership and endorsements, etc but this disparity is clearly sexist.