Where’s Wednesday?

charlotte989875

How’s everyone doing? I’m in the flurry of laundry, packing, and lists for vacation. We’re planning to leave super early Saturday morning and drive as far as we can. H has softball playoffs tonight, I have them tomorrow so we’re trying to fit a lot into the next few days. 

MissKittyDanger

Before I post anything, please read this and discuss

- I personally think woman is valid in reaction and her H is a douche.


Woman Shares How Husband's 'Cheating Prank' Changed Their Marriage Because He Was Hurt By Her Reaction | Bored Panda

climbingsingle

MissKittyDanger said:

Before I post anything, please read this and discuss

- I personally think woman is valid in reaction and her H is a douche.


Woman Shares How Husband's 'Cheating Prank' Changed Their Marriage Because He Was Hurt By Her Reaction | Bored Panda

Holy fuck. That's not a prank. That's emotional abuse, and I'd leave him other that. She didn't react the way he wanted her to!?!?! What the ever loving fuck? 

charlotte989875

climbingsingle said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Before I post anything, please read this and discuss

- I personally think woman is valid in reaction and her H is a douche.


Woman Shares How Husband's 'Cheating Prank' Changed Their Marriage Because He Was Hurt By Her Reaction | Bored Panda

Holy fuck. That's not a prank. That's emotional abuse, and I'd leave him other that. She didn't react the way he wanted her to!?!?! What the ever loving fuck? 

She needs to leave now. It’s emotional abuse, both the “prank” and berating her for not responding how he wants. Things will never be the same because he showed her who he really is. The kids are better off not being around that. 

kerbohl

Aw, I'm on my work computer and the link is blocked!  I'm dying to read it!  I'll read it on my lunch and see what is going on.

banana468

This sounds like the beginning of Righteous Gemstones where Jesse calls it a "prank" and the truth was guys really were cheating on their wives.

This guy is an ass.

short+sassy

MissKittyDanger said:

Before I post anything, please read this and discuss

- I personally think woman is valid in reaction and her H is a douche.


Woman Shares How Husband's 'Cheating Prank' Changed Their Marriage Because He Was Hurt By Her Reaction | Bored Panda

My flippant responses:

"Awesome. So now you know I will dump your ass in the garbage if you ever cheat on me. Unfortunately, now I know what a cruel and abusive POS you are."

"Good!  Go sulk and pout. You petty, little pathetic AH. I don't want to talk to you either."

But, really, it's tough.  I understand the DTMFA response.  But I think that would be a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow, especially considering there are young children involved.

She also needs to take the bull by the horns and stop letting this guy manipulate her.  This was a massive f**k up that he's trying to cover up by pretending to be "hurt" by her reaction.  She even apologized to him (ugh!), but it sounds like he didn't apologize to her.

If it were me, I think I would try marriage counseling.  But, if he refused, then it would be a deal breaker.

charlotte989875

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Before I post anything, please read this and discuss

- I personally think woman is valid in reaction and her H is a douche.


Woman Shares How Husband's 'Cheating Prank' Changed Their Marriage Because He Was Hurt By Her Reaction | Bored Panda

My flippant responses:

"Awesome. So now you know I will dump your ass in the garbage if you ever cheat on me. Unfortunately, now I know what a cruel and abusive POS you are."

"Good!  Go sulk and pout. You petty, little pathetic AH. I don't want to talk to you either."

But, really, it's tough.  I understand the DTMFA response.  But I think that would be a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow, especially considering there are young children involved.

She also needs to take the bull by the horns and stop letting this guy manipulate her.  This was a massive f**k up that he's trying to cover up by pretending to be "hurt" by her reaction.  She even apologized to him (ugh!), but it sounds like he didn't apologize to her.

If it were me, I think I would try marriage counseling.  But, if he refused, then it would be a deal breaker.

I agree it’s tough, but he’s not willing to talk about it, go to counseling, or admit at all that he was wrong ? Those are massive red flags for me. So yah I agree counseling first but if he refuses I’d be gone. 

short+sassy

I don't want to talk about my own life.  So I'm going to share a hilarious story going on in my local subReddit.

It started last week when a person posted a pic of one of those claw vending machines.  There was an Opus looking penguin in one of the corners.  She said it was in the machine at the Broad Theatre and she desperately wants it, but isn't good enough with those machines to get it.  She asked for help.

A couple days later, someone posts a pic of that penguin.  Freed from the machine and sitting on one of the bar tables at this location.  With words that were something like, "I have what you want.  Here are the clues to find it."  And then there was this surprisingly long, rhyming poem with "clues" that needed to be figured out.

There were a couple more similar "clue" posts.  While the rest of the subReddit was getting into it and a couple people posted childhood pics of themselves with their own Opus penguins.

It all culminated to the exchange taking place last night at this same location.  With an open invitation for all to come.  They'd even set something up at the bar for there to be a special cocktail called "Opus" that people could order.  I didn't even think about going, but now I wish I had.  Sounds like it was so fun and wacky.

After the event, the original person made another post that included a video of her receiving Opus.  I kid you not.  She was dressed in a full length penguin costume, with a hood and all.  LMAO.  

MissKittyDanger

kerbohl said:

Aw, I'm on my work computer and the link is blocked!  I'm dying to read it!  I'll read it on my lunch and see what is going on.

It's bored panda site - if you can go on that one you should be able to find/search

MissKittyDanger

short+sassy said:

I don't want to talk about my own life.  So I'm going to share a hilarious story going on in my local subReddit.

It started last week when a person posted a pic of one of those claw vending machines.  There was an Opus looking penguin in one of the corners.  She said it was in the machine at the Broad Theatre and she desperately wants it, but isn't good enough with those machines to get it.  She asked for help.

A couple days later, someone posts a pic of that penguin.  Freed from the machine and sitting on one of the bar tables at this location.  With words that were something like, "I have what you want.  Here are the clues to find it."  And then there was this surprisingly long, rhyming poem with "clues" that needed to be figured out.

There were a couple more similar "clue" posts.  While the rest of the subReddit was getting into it and a couple people posted childhood pics of themselves with their own Opus penguins.

It all culminated to the exchange taking place last night at this same location.  With an open invitation for all to come.  They'd even set something up at the bar for there to be a special cocktail called "Opus" that people could order.  I didn't even think about going, but now I wish I had.  Sounds like it was so fun and wacky.

After the event, the original person made another post that included a video of her receiving Opus.  I kid you not.  She was dressed in a full length penguin costume, with a hood and all.  LMAO.  

This is just gold  

climbingsingle

re: the cheating "prank". She was gone for THREE HOURS. What did he think she was doing during that time? Prancing in the street??? 

STARMOON44

climbingsingle said:

re: the cheating "prank". She was gone for THREE HOURS. What did he think she was doing during that time? Prancing in the street??? 

Hopefully because being rid of this guy is cause for celebration 

VarunaTT

I cannot believe the audacity of this man.  IDK, I think I'd pack my shit and leave.  When the kids were old enough, I'd just tell them what happened.  I don't think this is the example of marriage and how to treat anyone, much less your spouse, that kids should be being exposed to.  I'm absolutely floored at how casually cruel he is being and the fact that he thinks HE'S been wronged?!?!  Seriously, the only word I can think of is audacity.

Today is going to be rough.  I have 3 client appointments starting at 12:30, I need to meet a handyman at my parents house, and I have to pick up my sleep study between noon and 2 (this all happened rather accidentally together).  As well as just, you know, work and eat.  Trying to keep myself calm.  I'm definitely having to deal with some emotional reactivity and I'm using my tools, but it is rough up in my head right now.  It'd be a lot better if some people would back aaaaaaaaalllllllll the way up too. 

I amazingly had one boss that I'm going to buy a small thank you gift for.  I had a big project for him yesterday that HAD to be finalized.  I was late; I had texted him that I was late, but I would be there to finish it.  He came into my office when I got in, asked me, "Are you okay?"  I said, "I'm here, that's about all I can offer and it will be finished."  He said, "Just do your best, if I have to go to court tomorrow, it's not really a big deal."  I very nearly cried.  I can't remember the last time one of my bosses treated me with actual compassion in this entire situation, rather than inconvienced by my personal situation of the last month or so.

Now our damn program is running slow and it's frustrating me to no end.  Is it Friday at 5 yet?

banana468

I have a great enough MIL and FIL and would also likely say, "Hey I'm going to be staying elsewhere for a few days because your son thought it would be funny to do this. " 

Yeah - I'd get them involved, I'd tell them that a friend was in on it and would tell him that there is no reconciliation unless he agrees to therapy and understands that this isn't something you joke about. 

But luckily DH isn't like that and the greatest extent of a practical joke that exists is something like food pranks.  

No wait - he's said that if he knew someone who owned a car dealership he'd drive around on Christmas with a big bow on a brand new car and would randomly pull into people's driveways.....then he'd back up and leave.   

MissKittyDanger

Guys I have an obsession with these "AITA" posts on BoredPanda - like I know they pull from Reddit but that site is a lot ...


Anyways we're down to just a few things needed for BK for back to school.
I wanna get a first day/last day sign. There's one on Amazon but I wanna see if I can see in stores. They're popular so I don't expect it to be hard.

She can now fully do her lunch solo - M showed her how to open her lunch box - so that's a perk.

I just ordered some labels because I realized we had none for her clothes and likely not enough for her bag/lunch. There's more stuff this year.

On the 24th we're buying remaining things. I think on my end, I just need to get indoor shoes.
M is doing school supplies - which she already has a backpack. So it's basic needs and lunch kit

CharmedPam

Yes to emotional abuse.  Like… whhhhhhhhy? Or she can “care enough” for 3 years, work on the marriage and find out DH wouldn’t change and waste 3 years of her life? Oh wait.  That was me. 

Yay to that boss @VarunaTT

last night’s facial was great.  Neck massage.  Also great.  But then she showed me my lifted and tinted lashes I wanted to cry.  No change.  Nothing.  I paid big money for it, and you can’t even tell I got anything done.  I’m just going back to blinc. The only mascara I ever liked. I was a bit depressed by it yesterday and just went home and did nothing. I guess it lingered this morning because I stayed in bed and didn’t want to work out.  If lashes got me all wound up, what next?

short+sassy

climbingsingle said:

re: the cheating "prank". She was gone for THREE HOURS. What did he think she was doing during that time? Prancing in the street??? 

For pure salaciousness, I wish it had been because she was hooking up with the friend. For revenge.  Not because the friend had told her about the joke yet, but because she still thought her H had cheated.

Apparently the real practical joke was on you, buddy!

short+sassy

Latest insurance update.  I still potentially want to get a commercial line of insurance that would cover all of my properties*.  But that is a lot more involved and cannot happen quickly.

Instead, I pulled the trigger on the "last resort" Citizen's insurance for now.  So my coverage will be bound as of today (phew).  

Except Citizen's only covers property.  So liability needs to be purchased separately (eyeroll).  I knew that yesterday and was also given a quote for liability, so I pulled the trigger on that also.

Edited to add:  *Except my personal home. Meh. I own that under my personal name, not my LLC, so it cannot be included.  

mrsconn23

I'm here, sort of.  I'm talked the hell out with back to back to back meetings.  I've been chugging water, LOL. 

SSDD for the most part.   

mrsconn23

Oh and I'll read the link later.  I think it's blocked for me at work.  But I'm sure I'll have thoughts.  LOL 

banana468

What are the chances that the guy changed the phone # and it wasn't a prank and it WAS an affair and he opted to link the dude's # to cover his ass? 

short+sassy

short+sassy said:

Latest insurance update.  I still potentially want to get a commercial line of insurance that would cover all of my properties*.  But that is a lot more involved and cannot happen quickly.

Instead, I pulled the trigger on the "last resort" Citizen's insurance for now.  So my coverage will be bound as of today (phew).  

Except Citizen's only covers property.  So liability needs to be purchased separately (eyeroll).  I knew that yesterday and was also given a quote for liability, so I pulled the trigger on that also.

Edited to add:  *Except my personal home. Meh. I own that under my personal name, not my LLC, so it cannot be included.  

The plot thickens.  I just spoke to a different insurance agency.  She told me what I already heard.  No one is writing new policies for Southern Louisiana, right now.  She said, although they can't make any promises (of course), they expect insurance to open up again once hurricane season is over.

Just her agency alone had THOUSANDS of customers with Southern Fidelity...my insurance company that went into receivorship.  And everybody is in the same boat I am. They have to get their insurance with "last resort" Louisiana Citizens.

She said the Citizens site has tons of agents on it all the time, so it's running slow.  That she's never seen anything like it.

I commented about what horrible timing that was.  And if only the insolvency had happened at a different time of year.  Then "conspiracy theory" me asked, "Seems like too much of a coincidence.  Do you think it may have been planned this way?"  She ruefully laughed and said that is exactly what everyone in her office thinks.

kerbohl

I want to know how the other wives reacted!  Like, LW's response makes sense.  It is probably similar to how I might react.  And it's not a prank, it is being cruel.  If someone came up to me and said "I just found your rabbit and its dead", that's going to hurt me and they know it is going to hurt me.  So how would that be a prank?  How is hurting someone by making them think their marriage is over funny?

But .... let's give the husband the benefit of a doubt.  Let's say he is just an idiot and honestly didn't think this would hurt his wife.  Now it has, and she is willing to put in the work to get past this thing that has hurt her and for her changed her view of the marriage.  He doesn't want therapy to fix this "prank" he pulled that ended up hurting his wife?  What about him?  Apparently her reaction hurt him because he found out that if he cheats she is done (as is common for many people in relationships).  He doesn't want therapy to help him repair this?  Really?

short+sassy

kerbohl said:

I want to know how the other wives reacted!  Like, LW's response makes sense.  It is probably similar to how I might react.  And it's not a prank, it is being cruel.  If someone came up to me and said "I just found your rabbit and its dead", that's going to hurt me and they know it is going to hurt me.  So how would that be a prank?  How is hurting someone by making them think their marriage is over funny?

But .... let's give the husband the benefit of a doubt.  Let's say he is just an idiot and honestly didn't think this would hurt his wife.  Now it has, and she is willing to put in the work to get past this thing that has hurt her and for her changed her view of the marriage.  He doesn't want therapy to fix this "prank" he pulled that ended up hurting his wife?  What about him?  Apparently her reaction hurt him because he found out that if he cheats she is done (as is common for many people in relationships).  He doesn't want therapy to help him repair this?  Really?

For the part I read, it alluded to that.  Something about the texts to other people being similar.  Was this a prank that a group of "bros" were all playing on their wives and all in on it?

I know there have been many studies done showing people will do stupid/immoral/illegal things as a group that they would be unlikely to do as individuals.  But it's still hard to believe a group of people would go along with this.  Especially sober.  At least I assume sober because she talks about making breakfast, ergo the morning.

CharmedPam

banana468 said:

What are the chances that the guy changed the phone # and it wasn't a prank and it WAS an affair and he opted to link the dude's # to cover his ass? 

Which means there was not only one immature male in this situation but two.  Who goes along with it? 

Edit to add ; prank or not friend was still immature to go along with it too

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

What are the chances that the guy changed the phone # and it wasn't a prank and it WAS an affair and he opted to link the dude's # to cover his ass? 

Ooh! Didn't think of it!

MissKittyDanger

short+sassy said:

kerbohl said:

I want to know how the other wives reacted!  Like, LW's response makes sense.  It is probably similar to how I might react.  And it's not a prank, it is being cruel.  If someone came up to me and said "I just found your rabbit and its dead", that's going to hurt me and they know it is going to hurt me.  So how would that be a prank?  How is hurting someone by making them think their marriage is over funny?

But .... let's give the husband the benefit of a doubt.  Let's say he is just an idiot and honestly didn't think this would hurt his wife.  Now it has, and she is willing to put in the work to get past this thing that has hurt her and for her changed her view of the marriage.  He doesn't want therapy to fix this "prank" he pulled that ended up hurting his wife?  What about him?  Apparently her reaction hurt him because he found out that if he cheats she is done (as is common for many people in relationships).  He doesn't want therapy to help him repair this?  Really?

For the part I read, it alluded to that.  Something about the texts to other people being similar.  Was this a prank that a group of "bros" were all playing on their wives and all in on it?

I know there have been many studies done showing people will do stupid/immoral/illegal things as a group that they would be unlikely to do as individuals.  But it's still hard to believe a group of people would go along with this.  Especially sober.  At least I assume sober because she talks about making breakfast, ergo the morning.

This makes sense.

Years ago - let's say probably less than 6m after my dad died for context - M went to hang out with friends. I was still kinda dealing, so my level of wanting to hang out was not great often.
M left his phone in the car. Another buddy texted me - the house he was to go to - saying M never showed up as a joke. This was nearly an hour and half later.

Cue massive panic attack on my end. M found out about the text, and ran to his car to call me. He knew I wasn't going to be ok.
He didn't end up coming home - once I calmed down - but he had a serious talk to everyone who laughed and his buddy who said that.

Let's just say we haven't spoken to 95% of that group since a few months before I had BK for various reasons.

short+sassy

Proper math symbols.  They make all the difference, lol. My silly mistake for the day, but at least I figured it out quickly.

I was listening to the history for one of my checking accounts.  Oh good!  One of my tenants made her deposit for her partial rent due on the 10th.  She's usually at least a few days late, so I wasn't expecting it.

Oh yeah!  I forgot to write that deposit (a different one) into my account.  I use Excel to track everything.

Wait. What?!?!  I'm short like $1600 that should be in there!  All my transactions are matching up.  What's going on?!?

I forgot to put a negative sign in front of my $803 flood insurance payment, on my spreadsheet. That will do it, lol.  Perfectly matched up with the bank after that.

Overall, still good news.  This was the first time I looked at the account since I paid the flood insurance, so I wasn't "attached" to the incorrect higher balance.

levioosa

I literally cannot fathom H purposefully doing something that might hurt me. Poor woman needs to DTMF because honestly the prank was bad enough but the aftermath? Wtf. 

@charlotte989875

*hugs* @VarunaTT you have a lot going on. Remember to time out for yourself if you need it. There’s so many things happening at once sometimes you just need a moment to breathe. 

Work is going good. It is crazy to work with such a different patient population. Still in a very disadvantaged area but I don’t see any state insurance or uninsured patients now, just private and HMO. I’m a huge advocate and very passionate about quality and access to care, but man is the difference stunning. At my old clinic it was rare to see someone 85+ years old. The amount of octogenarians and nonagenarians I have seen this week alone is crazy. And a lot them are super spry and intellectually and physically pretty intact besides the age. It’s a huge difference. 

Otherwise just trying to get used to people and things at the new job, and to try and figure out a new routine. I signed up at a new gym yesterday to have more options for working out but the experience was not good. I know I am overweight. I am trying my best. I work out 1-3 hours a day and I eat pretty healthy. I wish I could answer why I’m still fat but it is what it is. 

Gym Manager (GM): So what are your goals here?

Me: Oh, just working on my strength and stability. My cardiovascular fitness is great so at this point just strength and working on all of those preventative measures so I don’t develop joint issues, heart disease or diabetes in the future, haha. 

GM: *looks at me* So…nothing else?

Me: Nope, just working on optimizing my strength and stability. 

GM: So…nothing aesthetic? 

I was so mad. Like you have no idea who I am or what my medical history is. You don’t know how often I work out, how I work out. You asked me for a goal and I gave you a completely valid answer (any answer is valid). How dare you then look at me and insinuate I should look better? And then she spent five minutes telling me how to train when I not only have a degree in the subject, but an advanced degree on top of it. And it did really sting because I work so. fucking. hard. on working out and eating well and trying not to be in pain all of the goddamn time with my RA and fibromyalgia and what I can probably guess is EDS. If I hadn’t already paid for the year for a great deal that also allowed me to bring H with me for free I would have turned around and walked out. 

Sorry for the rant. My weight is a touchy subject and I try to be body positive and I try to be healthy and avoid falling into issues with previous personal history of an ED. But it really, really, really fucking sucks when you get treated differently because you’re not thin and obviously this was a little bit of a trigger for me. 

CharmedPam

That is so rude! @levioosa.  So much for sitting and listening to your client. She doesn’t know you! Exactly.

levioosa said:

I literally cannot fathom H purposefully doing something that might hurt me. Poor woman needs to DTMF because honestly the prank was bad enough but the aftermath? Wtf. 

Also lets turn the table on this.  Could *I* ever pull a prank like this one on a hubby or serious SO? No.  And listen, I’m goofy and all for pranks and jokes. But usually ones like putting a cup of water ontop of a slightly open door because THAT is funny! But this one… this one is vindictive and took a lot of planning.