Do the Humpty Hump day

CharmedPam

Sorry, we had karaoke last night and of course The Humpty Dance was sung. Day one of sales conference in the books.  Day two to go.  

Men on these dating apps are so funny (weird funny not haha funny).  One guy and I did some mild flirting.  Nothing bad and everything I was comfortable with.  Just joking about cuddling to help us sleep etc.  THEN he sends out NSFW pictures to me (probably pulled from the web) with “cure for insomnia” written under them.  I’m like woah.  Ok.  Why did you send that? I flat out asked him if he was on the site for hook ups. He said it would be cool to find something but his expectations were low.  After chatting a bit more and me telling him I’m not on the site for that, he suggested a “meet and greet” for tonight. This was on Monday.  But then he’s completely ignored me since then so I guess I know where I stand.  I’m thinking because I called him out on it? I said “there’s nothing wrong with some harmless flirting but those pics made me wonder about your intentions…”

Then there’s this other dude who is completely opposite.  I gave him a compliment on his looks and he goes “me? Awww” and then completely changed the subject and went to normal texting again like we’re just friends. Wth. That was the “in” dude.  Can we get out of friends zone now?

Dating this time around has been more difficult than last attempts.  And I thought I joined a serious and reliable one (match). 

Edit: also, as a PSA, I had the worst flat, dull, thinning hair known to man.  I saw an ad on FB and started using this the last few days and noticed more volume and shine. It’s not bottled shampoo/conditioner, it’s in a bar. And I love it!

https://mykitsch.com/products/rice-water-protein-shampoo-bar-strengthening?_pos=10&_sid=094b57bfd&_ss=r

climbingsingle

Man, the dating apps are brutal. I spent a brief time on there before N and I were hanging out and it was just bad. And it was the same shit - either weird friend texting, or immediately talking about sex. 

My hair is also thin. I've been wondering about Nutrafol. I've seen some good reviews but I'm hesitant. 

SSDD here. Can't really focus on work so I'm making packing lists for the weekend. We leave Friday morning for Ocean City. I can't wait! 

banana468

I'm going to feel good at this point that thin and graying hair is not an issue.  I have...a lot. 

charlotte989875

Hello from the beach. The little one hated the water, or when anyone is in the water, or near the water.  But he looks really cute in his swim suit. 

MissKittyDanger

@charlotte989875 BK hated swimming with a life jacket. We found getting her use to the water then adding life jacket helped.

mrsconn23

I'm in my global townhall zoom for work.  It's the q+a portion, which is always interesting what people ask (or complain about. ha).  I've had my camera off almost the whole time. 

DH had his first outside audit for his new job yesterday.  Things were pretty tense about it all Monday, but they passed with one minor finding.  They also wrapped up in one day, instead of two, because the auditors were from Denmark and wanted to go to Chicago to be tourists before heading home.  

I have started using StitchFix because I was having issues finding things when shopping that I liked and found I was returning all the things.  The first fix was so-so, but I got really specific in my preferences for my second one and they knocked it out of the park.  Plus it was pieces that I may not have even tried in the store.  I got a fabulous stretchy and soft black blazer style jacket with 3/4 sleeves that I wore yesterday and just *loved*.  I think I'm going to keep the entire fix and then I should be set for fall. 

SSDD otherwise.  

MissKittyDanger

@CharmedPam Dating is weird. With or without apps.

mrsconn23

OMG @charlotte989875, I die at the cuteness.  

MissKittyDanger

M took BK to the museum today. So far she got likely over excited and had listening issues. I think M got her rallied since

M is going to football game with SFIL
BK is sleeping over and having a girls night with MIL.
So I'm solo - I'm painting my mudroom then doing a facemask and mopping lol

She's staying over because M & I wanna go buy her bedframe early Saturday and it's easier to do ikea and building with BK not around.
M is likely going to build the bed. I'll likely build our mudroom thing .... idk what it's called but it's this:
Rolanstar Hall Tree with Storage Bench, 5-in-1 Entryway Shelf with Coat Rack, 70.8" Coat Stand with 5 Side Shelves, 9 Hooks and Shoe Bench Grey : Amazon.ca: Home

I feel like we're finally getting shit together and it's very soothing.
I may buy something later for keys etc but I'm not sure how it'll look

CharmedPam

Word @MissKittyDanger, I don’t need the apps for some of my headshakes.  Lol.

@charlotte989875 that is the cutest picture I’ve seen ALL day!!!

@climbingsingle, I have thought about Nutrafol too.  Is that the one promoted by Anitson? I’m also getting prp treatments so maybe that’s also working?  I go Saturday and last time my head was bruised for a week so I hope that doesn’t happen this time.

@mrsconn23, I really liked stitchfix when I started. My first stylist was awesome and got me. Then she left? The new one was meh.  I mean there was always ONE item I could keep. And then, quite honestly I just started to like Shein more, so I canceled Stitchfix altogether.  Only because of cost, not quality.  I get emails for nice non subscription items still.

short+sassy

@CharmedPam, I'm sorry the dating scene continues to suck.  Crossing my fingers for you the right guy comes along.  But good for you on setting expectations and boundaries.

@climbingsingle, I have been craving a beach weekend.  Sounds so fun.

Speaking of, I was trying to plan a getaway to FL.  But it's so far (5 hour drive) and so expensive ($300-$400/night) and I just don't think I can hang with that right now.  I'm thinking about going to Biloxi instead.  It's only 90 minutes away, so we could get some beach time in and only stay one night.  Also much cheaper to stay there.  But their beaches are very meh.

All right, Knotties.  I need your help for strategizing.  My work needs to give me a raise.  I've been working for peanuts for too long.

I was thinking about looking for another job and then see if they will counteroffer (if I was even open to that).  But my H said that is a shitty thing to do.  He says, if I'm unhappy, I should say something now.  Put them on notice, so to speak, that I don't think I'm being paid fairly.  Give them the opportunity to make it right.

However, I feel like they are the kind of place who won't do anything, unless I'm literally about to walk out the door.  That seems to be what has worked for other people here.  I feel like I would be stronger and get the result I want, if I have another job in my hand.

But maybe he's right?  Maybe it's better to tell them now and give them an opportunity to do better.  Plus then I don't have to wait until I have another job.  If they still won't give me a raise, I'll look for another job and could still potentially let them counteroffer when I find another opportunity.

TBH, the biggest thing holding me back is myself.  I don't advocate for myself.  I know that.  I find the whole thing extremely awkward feeling.

What are your all's thoughts?  Any advice on how to ask for a raise?

Or do I even want to bother?  I kinda do want another job anyway.  Maybe it's better to give myself a month or so of job searching and see what comes of it. Especially if I can snag something that is WFH or hybrid.  That's what I want even more, but they definitely wouldn't go for that unless I gave them a true ultimatum.  And even that may not work.

banana468

@charlotte989875 he's just the cutest in his puddle jumper!!

FWIW, it took a while for Chiquito to get into it too.  He hated baths and HATED the boat when we first got it.  I had to play Daniel Tiger and put ear muffs on him and tell him we were going to see Grampere so he'd hop in.  Now he's a champ - it only took a couple years!

CharmedPam

Thanks @short+sassy! The good news is, I’m hearing the same complaints from single girls too, so we’re all in this boat together.

For me, I would personally have a job lined up before asking for a counteroffer at my current place.  This way, if it’s a no from them, then I can still be “oh well then, I wasn’t bluffing. I’ll be on my merry way then”.  That being said finding new jobs doesn’t happen with the click of your heels so that is waaaaay easier said than done.  It’s just my personality to sit down and say “I have offer B lined up, what can you do?” Instead of “I don’t make what I should and I’ll need a raise”. And honestly it’s probably not even in me to say “what can you do?”After that.

Jen4948

Job interviewing. I received an offer but there are some caveats, so I am giving it some thought.

Just trying to keep my head above water.

Dating apps suck. I never had any luck with them.

Adorable photo @charlotte989875

ILoveBeachMusic

So cute @charlotte989875!

We got home from PA around 9:30 last night (were there for a memorial service). There and back in two days is a lot! I'm really dragging today. I woke up super early (around 4) but then went back to bed between 7&8. Got up to go to spin class. I was doing ok until about an hour ago and can hardly keep my eyes open. We have dance lessons tonight then out for Mexican food.

Hang in there Jen. Hopefully you'll be able to make the right decision.

charlotte989875

My two cents @short+sassy if you get an outside offer you have to be prepared to have to take it AND be prepared to possibly never work at that company if you get an offer and decline. That said I’ve done it successfully, but what I wanted was not primarily higher pay- it was an internal move to a team I had been supporting for ~6 months. The EVP running my division was happy to keep me at the company, but I may have burned a bridge with my two-above getting an outside then leaving. 

Some other advice- it takes a lot of time to apply & interview; I’d only do it if you know another company will make you a substantially higher offer; for me it wasn’t worth it to only make slightly more (and give up my year end bonus) so I had a walk away number I wasn’t willing to go below. If you’re asking for more money from your company I agree with the “demonstrate your value” approach and outside what value you’ve added. I think mid year is a good time to do it especially if you’re exceeding your yearly objectives at this point. 

short+sassy

charlotte989875 said:

My two cents @short+sassy if you get an outside offer you have to be prepared to have to take it AND be prepared to possibly never work at that company if you get an offer and decline. That said I’ve done it successfully, but what I wanted was not primarily higher pay- it was an internal move to a team I had been supporting for ~6 months. The EVP running my division was happy to keep me at the company, but I may have burned a bridge with my two-above getting an outside then leaving. 

Some other advice- it takes a lot of time to apply & interview; I’d only do it if you know another company will make you a substantially higher offer; for me it wasn’t worth it to only make slightly more (and give up my year end bonus) so I had a walk away number I wasn’t willing to go below. If you’re asking for more money from your company I agree with the “demonstrate your value” approach and outside what value you’ve added. I think mid year is a good time to do it especially if you’re exceeding your yearly objectives at this point. 

Thanks, this does sound like good advice.  Especially about an outside offer.  TBH, once I got a better offer and job opportunity, I probably wouldn't want to stay here anyway.

For me to make a move to another company, it would need to be one of two things.  Though preferably both.  Either a 15-20% raise or a WFH/hybrid job (especially if the hours were flexible).  Bonus points if the job was heavy part-time, even if that was less money than what I currently make.  But I know that great paying part-time jobs are even more of a unicorn, lol.

There are few things I dislike more than job searching, lol.  I've definitely been cherry-picking job openings and, if it doesn't have a salary range listed, I usually don't bother.

I've mentioned this before, but I have a new boss now, which makes it worse because I don't even know this guy and he doesn't know me or my work yet.  But he's the one I'd need to make the pitch to.  He at least knows the client likes me and depends on me, which is the most important ball in my court.