Wedding Woes

Mood-matches-the-weather Tuesday

Day 4 of rain (basement hasn't flooded yet, woo!) and it's in the 50s, very biting.  NYC doesn't turn heat on in rentals until Oct 15th (actually, I think it's since changed to Oct 1st, but in my renting days in my 20s it was mid-month) and that's always stuck with me...I'll be damned if the heat goes on before the 15th.  But the thermostat said 58 this morning.  Sorry kids  :# maybe I'll loosen up but stbxh used to blast the heat (and we had the oil bill to prove it) so I'm trying to re-claim indoor heating, lol

@climbingsingle how are you feeling?


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Re: Mood-matches-the-weather Tuesday

  • I'm feeling a bit better today, thanks! Although I can only sit at my desk for so long before my hip starts hurting again. I'll be laying on the couch soon with my laptop balanced on me..lol. 

    This is also the first year I can remember that I've turned the heat on so early. It's like we skipped over October and went right into November. 

    It's supposed to rain here all day and into tomorrow, which is perfect for my mood..lol. 
  • It’s chilly but sunny here & my favorite weather. 

    H came home. At 4:00 in the morning. Without telling me so I got an alert on my security cameras that someone was waking around outside the bedrooms and called the police. It was like a minute before H said “it’s your husband”. Thankfully they hadn’t sent a car out yet. 

    H felt awful. As he should. How hard would it have been to text that he was coming in HOURS before he had told me. 
    This is one of the vents I've had with DH.  Sometimes he's out late like on days he's in NYC.  When I ask him for a time that he thinks he'll be home I'm not trying to impose any kind of curfew but FFS when I'm home alone it's far better to have an idea of when I can expect him.  

    Now we have 3 cameras at the front of the house so I can look first before freaking out and he he gets that I'm not trying to curb the minimal dude time he gets.  

    I do love autumn but I love the crisp and still autumn - not the Axl Rose raw damp autumn. 
  • banana468 said:
    It’s chilly but sunny here & my favorite weather. 

    H came home. At 4:00 in the morning. Without telling me so I got an alert on my security cameras that someone was waking around outside the bedrooms and called the police. It was like a minute before H said “it’s your husband”. Thankfully they hadn’t sent a car out yet. 

    H felt awful. As he should. How hard would it have been to text that he was coming in HOURS before he had told me. 
    This is one of the vents I've had with DH.  Sometimes he's out late like on days he's in NYC.  When I ask him for a time that he thinks he'll be home I'm not trying to impose any kind of curfew but FFS when I'm home alone it's far better to have an idea of when I can expect him.  

    Now we have 3 cameras at the front of the house so I can look first before freaking out and he he gets that I'm not trying to curb the minimal dude time he gets.  

    I do love autumn but I love the crisp and still autumn - not the Axl Rose raw damp autumn. 
    This is a pattern for H too but the first time it’s been this bad. Because of the construction half our downstairs sensors are off line so it’s possible to enter the house and come upstairs without tripping them. I legit had no idea it was him because he said he wouldn’t be home before 8 this morning. 

    Pretty sure he’ll remember it o text from now on. 
  • banana468 said:
    It’s chilly but sunny here & my favorite weather. 

    H came home. At 4:00 in the morning. Without telling me so I got an alert on my security cameras that someone was waking around outside the bedrooms and called the police. It was like a minute before H said “it’s your husband”. Thankfully they hadn’t sent a car out yet. 

    H felt awful. As he should. How hard would it have been to text that he was coming in HOURS before he had told me. 
    This is one of the vents I've had with DH.  Sometimes he's out late like on days he's in NYC.  When I ask him for a time that he thinks he'll be home I'm not trying to impose any kind of curfew but FFS when I'm home alone it's far better to have an idea of when I can expect him.  

    Now we have 3 cameras at the front of the house so I can look first before freaking out and he he gets that I'm not trying to curb the minimal dude time he gets.  

    I do love autumn but I love the crisp and still autumn - not the Axl Rose raw damp autumn. 
    This is a pattern for H too but the first time it’s been this bad. Because of the construction half our downstairs sensors are off line so it’s possible to enter the house and come upstairs without tripping them. I legit had no idea it was him because he said he wouldn’t be home before 8 this morning. 

    Pretty sure he’ll remember it o text from now on. 
    He really has no one to blame when he showed up early on no notice in the middle of the night.  I hope he was really remorseful! 
  • We're supposed to be in the 70's through Thursday and then drop off Friday. We're also trying to hold out on turning the heat on.  But the mornings are pretty chilly, especially when getting out of the shower.  

    Boo to your H scaring the shit out of you at 4am @charlotte989875.  A text was definitely warranted. 

    SSDD around here. 
  • Speedy recovery @climbingsingle
    @charlotte989875 yikes! My heart would have jumped out ofmy throat.  But if i had an H that came home early, and texted that he would have been early while I was asleep, chances are I would have woken up and called the police right away too, without looking at my phone first.  It could have beem a lose-lose situation anyway?

    laptop works so I’m able to work from home!
    I have a puffy, itchy, pink & flaky eyelid. I have for 2 weeks now.  I use a naturale tears gel AND cortisone on them but it seems to not be working.  Both eyelids but one is worse than the other. Ideas?

  • ei34 said:
    Day 4 of rain (basement hasn't flooded yet, woo!) and it's in the 50s, very biting.  NYC doesn't turn heat on in rentals until Oct 15th (actually, I think it's since changed to Oct 1st, but in my renting days in my 20s it was mid-month) and that's always stuck with me...I'll be damned if the heat goes on before the 15th.  But the thermostat said 58 this morning.  Sorry kids  :# maybe I'll loosen up but stbxh used to blast the heat (and we had the oil bill to prove it) so I'm trying to re-claim indoor heating, lol

    @climbingsingle how are you feeling?
    I am curious to learn more about this!  Do tenants not control their own temperatures?  How does that work?  Or does it have something to do with you all using oil for heat up north and the tanks don't get filled until mid-Oct.?  I've lived in CA, FL (briefly), and Louisiana.  My heating has always been gas or electric.  At least your oil bills should be cheaper this year without stbxh.

    Though my experience with something like that is at work.  They don't think about heat until it's already been 3-4 weeks too late.  For this time of year, they are still blasting the a/c, even though it isn't needed at all and just makes the building super cold.

    I hope all the Knotties in cold places get warmer weather and no more rain.

    No heat needed yet down here.  The weather is perfect.  October is also one of our drier months.  Which is saying something because it rains here a lot, most of the year.
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2022
    I live in IL with gas heating too.  I remember having that problem.  It wasn’t a set day in my apartment complex but basically whenever they felt it was time to turn on the heat. Gas was part of my rental price so it was controlled.  Electricity I paid for so I could use that at my discretion. 

  • ei34 said:
    Day 4 of rain (basement hasn't flooded yet, woo!) and it's in the 50s, very biting.  NYC doesn't turn heat on in rentals until Oct 15th (actually, I think it's since changed to Oct 1st, but in my renting days in my 20s it was mid-month) and that's always stuck with me...I'll be damned if the heat goes on before the 15th.  But the thermostat said 58 this morning.  Sorry kids  :# maybe I'll loosen up but stbxh used to blast the heat (and we had the oil bill to prove it) so I'm trying to re-claim indoor heating, lol

    @climbingsingle how are you feeling?
    I am curious to learn more about this!  Do tenants not control their own temperatures?  How does that work?
    So idk about all places but in our old apartments we could control how warm or cool it was, but not if it was running heat or a/c

    We knew when we could open/close our windows.
    Our 2nd place {before the current house} was so old I would run the temp so low because the heat would still be running in warm weather.
    I really don't know how much our landlord could control there tbh
  • @short+sassy these are the rules for landlords: "Heat season is starting in the city on Oct. 1. Lasting through May, all residential buildings in the five boroughs are required to maintain an indoor temperature of 68 degrees when outdoor temperatures fall below 55 degrees during the day, from 6 a.m. until 10 p.m."
    It used to be the 15th though.  Interestingly enough, it's mostly gas heat here too.  Maybe 2/3s gas and 1/3 oil...my house in the burbs is oil and I hate it. My plumber said he could make the switch for $7,000 (I already have gas for cooking and the washer/dryer), so it's one of my many saving goals.  Lol yes hoping the bill will be lower this year, stbxh was all about 74 degrees at all times *eyeroll*.  Can only speak for buildings I lived in but tenants didn't have control over their apartments.  All I could do was open the window if it was 80 degrees (I know I started this post complaining that it's cold inside, but the only thing I dislike more is being hot.)


    @charlotte989875 ugh what a way to start your day, I'm sorry!  That was one of my pet peeves with stbxh, he'd go out at night and I never knew what time he was getting home...I wake up to use the bathroom a lot and I'd always wonder is he coming home at 1am, 3am, etc...him coming into the room (usually drunk) would wake me up and it was just so annoying.  (Btw NOT comparing our H's, just commiserating...I sleep better when everyone is home.)
    @banana468 lol perfectly summing up the  fall weather preferences 
  • BK is home again.
    She's mostly better but this was just a "just in case" day because her cough is still junky. We wanted to give extra day with meds and humidifier etc so she's in a better spot.

    At this rate she's at school 2 days this week. She's already off Friday and Monday due to thanksgiving. *sigh*

    Poor BK is still having a hard time falling asleep because when she lies down, it flags her cough. I gave her some honey last night to try and help her cough {she's also on mucus and phlegm cough stuff}
  • I live in IL with gas heating too.  I remember having that problem.  It wasn’t a set day in my apartment complex but basically whenever they felt it was time to turn on the heat. Gas was part of my rental price so it was controlled.  Electricity I paid for so I could use that at my discretion. 
    All the apartment complexes I've lived in, the heating was electric and tenants were responsible for their own electricity bills.

    I've rented two houses in NOLA before I bought my own.  One of them the heating was gas, but gas falls under the electricity bill which was my own responsibility.

    I just remembered the worst winter at that house.  We moved into it the weekend before Hurricane Katrina hit.  We had no heating or hot water that first winter because the gas lines had been flooded and both of those things ran on gas.  Also couldn't use our oven.  I dusted off my crockpot, lol.  The gas lines weren't restored until April.  It was one of the coldest Novembers on record that year.  Because of course it was, lol.  We moved back around mid-Nov.  Left 80 degree weather in Miami to go to mid-40 degree weather in NOLA.  Ugh.
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  • In many NYC rentals you can kinda control the flow of heat to your apt but it is basically on or off for the whole building for Oct to May 1. Which means lots of tenants keeping their windows open because it’s too hot! I’m glad I live in a new building with individual unit heat. 

    It’s so cold and gross and I’m really salty at being in the office in person. And one of my coworkers is, reasonably, very stressed out and it is infecting us all. Plus my feet are still wet from the commute. 
  • Okay day today. I bought tickets to see John legend with a friend in November. I have one more week of this term and I am kind of phoning it in with the last assignment. I will still get an A and I just have too much going on to care about this.
    We are going to a brunch on Saturday with the friends that are leaving and the friends that are staying (and their respective kids). It includes pool passes so it should be a good time. The following weekend in DS's birthday party.  RSVPs aren't due till the 10th but we have had 1/18 in his class confirm they are coming so far. I will be so sad if more kids don't come. Luckily DS won't notice, he will have his other friends there but damn.
    My mom is trying to reestablish contact and that has me wigging out a bit. 
  • Whew.  I have been putting my nose to the grind at work.  I'm actually feeling more like myself than I have in ages.  Still have some depression lingering and still trying to get back on personal goals, but I'm doing a lot better than I have been.  I think getting past dad's memorial helped with grieving.  I don't feel so much like I'm on eggshells anymore.

    I'm taking mom to get her covid booster tomorrow.  My mother is a very paranoid person and she does have quite a few medical allergies.  She also works herself up about anything "new" she has to do.  I think she put herself into shock after her last booster, b/c her reaction wasn't anything normal I could find.  Her doctor made her come in the next day and she was physically normal.  So, we're going after I get my allergy shot and then I'll stay with her tomorrow afternoon, just to keep an eye on her for awhile.

    Otherwise, SSDD.  We only have one secretary at work right now and I've been trying to keep things off of her desk, but the fact of the matter is that the my position requires  secretary and I've pushed off as long as I can.  I need her help to deal with all of the "little" things that do need to be accomplished, but take time away from more important things I need to accomplish.  She's smart and I'm not worried about her, but the litigation paralegals stepping up and claimining our needs which is probably going to make some other co-workers mad.  Really, the 3 of us in this position should all have a secretary just to the 3 of us, but I don't know if we'll ever be fully staffed again with everything that's happened here and the reputation we now have.  We also have someone who has given their notice and while that does hurt, she was a very toxic personality in this office and I'm not sad to see her go really.
  • We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
  • @VarunaTT, I'm glad you're feeling better!  That's great your all's secretary is so on top of things, just tough when it's more work than one person can handle.  I've previously had admin. assistant type roles and always viewed it as "it's my job to make everyone else's life smoother".
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  • We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
    One thing I dislike about hardwood floors is the cold feet in the mornings even if the house is warm
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2022
    We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
    One thing I dislike about hardwood floors is the cold feet in the mornings even if the house is warm
    I keep a pair of slippers by the bed to remedy this.  By the time we're at cold weather constants I try to wear them around the house vs. the outdoor shoes that track in all the dirt. 

    Also, the older I get the hotter a sleeper I am so I need lighter PJs but still want all the warm things once the covers are off. 
  • banana468 said:
    We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
    One thing I dislike about hardwood floors is the cold feet in the mornings even if the house is warm
    I keep a pair of slippers by the bed to remedy this.  By the time we're at cold weather constants I try to wear them around the house vs. the outdoor shoes that track in all the dirt. 

    Also, the older I get the hotter a sleeper I am so I need lighter PJs but still want all the warm things once the covers are off. 
    I have some, but it's not the same. We're considering a rug under the bed. I had a side rug but cats kept puking on it and obv it was a cute little shag rug so it had to be tossed. 
  • banana468 said:
    We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
    One thing I dislike about hardwood floors is the cold feet in the mornings even if the house is warm
    I keep a pair of slippers by the bed to remedy this.  By the time we're at cold weather constants I try to wear them around the house vs. the outdoor shoes that track in all the dirt. 

    Also, the older I get the hotter a sleeper I am so I need lighter PJs but still want all the warm things once the covers are off. 
    Same! I keep my super warm LL Bean slippers right next to the bed. 
  • We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
    One thing I dislike about hardwood floors is the cold feet in the mornings even if the house is warm
    This is something interesting I've noticed by looking at real estate across the country.  Where I live, it's pretty common for the whole house to have hard flooring (tile or wood) and no carpeting.  Throw rugs, yes.  Wall to wall carpeting, no.

    But colder climates seem to almost always have carpeting, at least in the bedrooms.

    The houses here also rarely have heated floors in the bathrooms.  But I've always thought that would be awesome!  I've threatened my H that, if we ever replace the floors in our bathroom, we're doing heated flooring.  He rolls his eyes and says, "We live in New Orleans!  You want that for the few weeks of winter we get?"  Yes!  Yes I do.  And he's exaggerating that it's a few weeks.

    And then there is the occasional horrifying combo pic.  Carpeting in a bathroom (shudder).
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  • We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
    One thing I dislike about hardwood floors is the cold feet in the mornings even if the house is warm
    This is something interesting I've noticed by looking at real estate across the country.  Where I live, it's pretty common for the whole house to have hard flooring (tile or wood) and no carpeting.  Throw rugs, yes.  Wall to wall carpeting, no.

    But colder climates seem to almost always have carpeting, at least in the bedrooms.

    The houses here also rarely have heated floors in the bathrooms.  But I've always thought that would be awesome!  I've threatened my H that, if we ever replace the floors in our bathroom, we're doing heated flooring.  He rolls his eyes and says, "We live in New Orleans!  You want that for the few weeks of winter we get?"  Yes!  Yes I do.  And he's exaggerating that it's a few weeks.

    And then there is the occasional horrifying combo pic.  Carpeting in a bathroom (shudder).
    I'd argue we're a colder weather place since we're in New England even if we're on the shore.  Our bedrooms and living/dining area (split level) are all hardwood and the kitchen is tile.  The first floor at entry/family room is a really thin carpet.  The carpet gets beat up and I'm considering a more durable flooring and area rugs when we replace it.  
  • We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
    One thing I dislike about hardwood floors is the cold feet in the mornings even if the house is warm
    This is something interesting I've noticed by looking at real estate across the country.  Where I live, it's pretty common for the whole house to have hard flooring (tile or wood) and no carpeting.  Throw rugs, yes.  Wall to wall carpeting, no.

    But colder climates seem to almost always have carpeting, at least in the bedrooms.

    The houses here also rarely have heated floors in the bathrooms.  But I've always thought that would be awesome!  I've threatened my H that, if we ever replace the floors in our bathroom, we're doing heated flooring.  He rolls his eyes and says, "We live in New Orleans!  You want that for the few weeks of winter we get?"  Yes!  Yes I do.  And he's exaggerating that it's a few weeks.

    And then there is the occasional horrifying combo pic.  Carpeting in a bathroom (shudder).
    My apartment is all hard wood with tile in the bathroom and kitchen.  My tile in the bathroom is heated.  It is a luxury, b/c it is expensive AF to use (all of my stuff is electric). But it is really nice when i do splurge and use it.
  • VarunaTT said:
    We have turned our heat on to take the chill off in the mornings. I can't stand being cold in the morning. It just starts the day wrong.
    One thing I dislike about hardwood floors is the cold feet in the mornings even if the house is warm
    This is something interesting I've noticed by looking at real estate across the country.  Where I live, it's pretty common for the whole house to have hard flooring (tile or wood) and no carpeting.  Throw rugs, yes.  Wall to wall carpeting, no.

    But colder climates seem to almost always have carpeting, at least in the bedrooms.

    The houses here also rarely have heated floors in the bathrooms.  But I've always thought that would be awesome!  I've threatened my H that, if we ever replace the floors in our bathroom, we're doing heated flooring.  He rolls his eyes and says, "We live in New Orleans!  You want that for the few weeks of winter we get?"  Yes!  Yes I do.  And he's exaggerating that it's a few weeks.

    And then there is the occasional horrifying combo pic.  Carpeting in a bathroom (shudder).
    My apartment is all hard wood with tile in the bathroom and kitchen.  My tile in the bathroom is heated.  It is a luxury, b/c it is expensive AF to use (all of my stuff is electric). But it is really nice when i do splurge and use it.
    My cousin in Canada installed radiant heating in his bathroom plus heated towel bars and they were really nice when I visited him even in August. 
  • banana468 said:
    VarunaTT said:

    My apartment is all hard wood with tile in the bathroom and kitchen.  My tile in the bathroom is heated.  It is a luxury, b/c it is expensive AF to use (all of my stuff is electric). But it is really nice when i do splurge and use it.
    My cousin in Canada installed radiant heating in his bathroom plus heated towel bars and they were really nice when I visited him even in August. 
    Ah!  I was just thinking about the cost to put in the heated floor, which isn't that much if you're replacing the floor anyway.  But not the electrical cost to use it.  Darn you, expensive electricity.

    Heated towel bars also sound great!  I will sometimes plan a shower or bath to coincide with towels just coming out of the dryer, lol.

    I was worried they would involve a visit by an electrician.  I just looked it up.  They can be hard-wired in, ie need an electrician.  But there are also versions that plug into an outlet.  I need to look into this more!
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  • For Christmas I got a towel warmer stand.  I adore it and use it fairly often.  It feels so luxurious to have warm towels out of the shower/bath.
  • VarunaTT said:
    For Christmas I got a towel warmer stand.  I adore it and use it fairly often.  It feels so luxurious to have warm towels out of the shower/bath.
    I could never go back.

  • Hi everyone! Thinking about you all as I have been lurking. 

    I hope everyone has a mild case of COVID @MyNameIsNot

    Work today. I got another shipment of my scrubs in so that’s nice. I got another lab coat too but the brand they use is the most shapeless, unflattering cut ever. Not that I’m trying to be sexy at work but I would prefer something that doesn’t make me look like a toddler dressing up in Dad’s shirt. I like my Figs but *technically* they’re not corporate approved. 

    I’m going to see my grandparents on Sunday. My grandpa has a biopsy tomorrow to check on the status of his bladder cancer. He has what I think will be a permanent catheter in now, which is unfortunate. 

    We had FSIL A and her H over on Sunday with their new pup. I’m a little nervous about the dog getting along with the cats. We didn’t try to introduce them. Any advice from anyone? Pup is about 10 months old, cattle dog mix. I’m thinking we need to have her over a few more times to get used to the house and be a little calmer. We’ve also given the kitties a blanket from her house, and we gave her a blanket that smells like the kitties. 


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