Wedding Woes

Put the future on pause for the 6 mos and just enjoy.

Dear Prudence,

I met a guy on Hinge who is sweet and smart, and we have great chemistry. Unfortunately, he is a fourth-year med student, and he is hoping to get matched for his residency in my city, but there is only a 50 percent chance of that happening. We won’t find out for six months, during which time he will be traveling, interviewing with other hospitals.

Neither of us wants to stop dating, but we don’t know where he’s going to end up living, and I don’t want to add the stress of a relationship onto the interview process. I’m not even sure what we’re doing. We tried to talk about it, didn’t know what to do, said goodbye, and now we’re flirting with each other in our DMs. Should we go cold turkey, or be friends without flirting, or try a relationship even though we don’t know where one of us is living?

— Long Distance or Not

Re: Put the future on pause for the 6 mos and just enjoy.

  • Date for 6 months. Enjoy. When he matches decide if it makes sense to continue
  • I'm team date.  What about your city means you won't leave it? 
  • @banana468 that is my question also.

    I'm team date for now, and decide in 6 months if it still makes sense. 

  • Hah. So, L did reach out and he brought up a similar issue.  I don't feel like going into details, but I was basically like, Listen...all we know right now is we're attracted to and enjoy each other's company.  You're putting a lot of pressure on something that doesn't even exist yet for a possibility you're talking about in June of next year.

    I still don't know where that's going, but I also don't have to beg someone to date me, so it's still in his court and I'm moving on with life.

    But anyway, LW just enjoy the next 6 months.  You guys can make better decisions when the time arrives.  You might just be borrowing trouble; if he gets matched you would've gone through all of this for nothing.  Not only that, but residency is so damn busy, a LTR might be just fine.
  • But this is LD until then right? He’s not in LW’s city yet? That’s going to be tough if it’s LD and also “what if’s” are implied.  But it both CAN date with those questions surrounding them, what’s the harm?

  • Date but date how you both feel comfortable.

    Sure there might be an expiry date for the relationship but it's a known date into the unknown.
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