Digital Invitations? Yay or Nay?

boonehallbride2023

We are having a terrible experience w/ USPS in even getting our save the dates out. Sent out in Oct. some people still haven't received them. I've also heard many stories about the actual invitations never making it to some people or arriving far too late. Our wedding is Black Tie Optional and I'm seriously considering doing a digital invitation. Thoughts on this? Will this in time be the new norm?

ILoveBeachMusic

I am not a fan of digital invitations. I personally like to have an invitation in hand but then again I am pretty traditional. There is really no such thing as Black Tie Optional. You either have all the elements of a black tie event (top level bar, valet parking, live band, seated plated dinner and some others I'm sure I've forgotten) or you don't. If you are wanting a very formal wedding you should definitely send traditional invitations since the invitations set the tone for the event.

MobKaz

boonehallbride2023 said:

We are having a terrible experience w/ USPS in even getting our save the dates out. Sent out in Oct. some people still haven't received them. I've also heard many stories about the actual invitations never making it to some people or arriving far too late. Our wedding is Black Tie Optional and I'm seriously considering doing a digital invitation. Thoughts on this? Will this in time be the new norm?

Invitations typically “set the tone” for the wedding.  Digital says contemporary and casual.  Glitches can be had with digital invitations as well.  Not every older person is tech savvy.  I have several elders in my family that don’t even have a smart phone, let alone email.

As others have stated, there is Black Tie and then there is cocktail.  Black Tie optional is a made up term.  

banana468

Is this related to your local USPS office?  I was married 15 years ago and we did have two invitations delayed and one returned out of over 100 sent.  It wasn't great but was not a pervasive issue.  What helped was to weigh the invitations at the post office to ensure that we had accurate postage and requested that they hand cancel the invitations.  By doing that the employees themselves verified that the postage was accurate.   Wedding invitations will be thicker and heavier than an average letter and will require more postage.  In addition, if your envelope is square or out of standard size (the workers will know this) then they will also require additional postage.  I'd highly advise of that and the use of very great penmanship when addressing to ensure that your invitations arrive on time.

I also echo both @ILoveBeachMusic and @MobKaz that black tie optional is not an actual "thing".  Your wedding is either black tie which requires a specific dress from your guests but moreover, requires more work on your end or formal.  Only if your event is actually black tie would you state that dress requirement.  If it is not, dress code is never actually mentioned.  And if you're having a formal wedding with all the bells and whistles noted then the formal invitation with hand calligraphy on the envelopes needs to follow suit.  

MyNameIsNot

As others have said, "black tie optional" really isn't a thing. Either you're having a black tie event or you aren't. That level of formality has more to do with the level of hosting than dress code. Of course, a black tie invitation would need to adhere to the most formal of traditions, including a paper invitation. 

A digital invitation would be fine for a more casual event, provided you make some accommodations for people who don't receive digital correspondence. If you're trying to skew more to the formal side, even if you're not black tie formal, you should still go with the traditional paper. Digital is becoming more common, but it still sends the message that an event is casual. 

Jen4948

It sounds like you want a more formal wedding (although, as PPs note, "black tie optional" doesn't really exist), so I would choose paper invitations that convey a formal tone, such as nicely engraved ones on vellum, rather than digital invitations. We haven't yet reached the point that digital invitations convey that level of formality.

MesmrEwe

Paper invitations with calligraphy and wax seals (inside a bubble mailer to go through the USPS) as others have said to set the formal tone.  And, as others said, there is no such thing as "Black Tie Optional" you either are having a Black Tie event or you aren't.  Yes, the paper invitations set the style and tone for the event.  

It's a huge NAY from me on the digital invitations However, if you want to do a digital option for the RSVP in addition to mailed or phone contact as an option, go for it - I get it, it's 2023, but the reality is not everyone has access to reliable internet, especially in rural areas (there are still places in the US that are dial-up for internet even to this day!) and there is still a sizable amount of the population that doesn't own a computer.  

As for the issues you're having with the USPS - Use your regional service hub to send the invitations out instead of going to your local post office.  Essentially you're taking out the middle location and while it may be out of the way and farther, it may cut down on some of the other problems you had.