Dear Prudence,
I recently went through a rough breakup with my on-and-off-again ex. Recently, my ex experienced a traumatic accident at work that left him paralyzed from the waist down. I would often travel two hours away, where he lived and was seeking recovery in the hospital, to support him. This sometimes consisted of staying at his rental home which he shares with his twin brother. His twin brother and I had established a routine of living together when I would stay over the weekends. Often sharing responsibilities at the house and even visiting his brother, my ex, in the hospital together. We even shared past experiences with our own mental health struggles with one another.
When my ex broke it off again, I was not only devastated because I lost a boyfriend but because I felt like I lost the friendship with his brother. After some discussion, his twin brother and I decided to stay friends. To my knowledge, my ex does not know that I have remained friends with his twin brother. The twin brother and I will message each other occasionally, make plans to hang out, and I have even spent nights at the house again. In fact, we plan on getting matching tattoos. At times, I feel guilty for continuing this friendship, but I do believe that I have a right to continue it and be happy. I am worried in regards to the twin brother filling a void that his brother, my ex, left when he ended the relationship. But I do recognize that even though they are twins they are very different people.
Recently, I have been confused about the feelings that I have for the twin brother, do I like him as a friend or more? I am not sure. What do I do Prudence? Am I wrong to be friends with my ex’s twin brother? How do I know if I have feelings for the twin brother or just missing my ex?
—Confused