You know their 'expectations', but what does your BF say? You need to talk to him.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I am in a long-term relationship with a wonderful guy. He is smart, kind, goofy, and always strives to improve. He also cares about his family. If things go well and we work hard, I could see us growing old together. The problem is not him. The problem is his parents.

I have not met them in person yet (which is not a red flag because they live about 15 hours away) but I know they are not emotionally mature people and are in a toxic marriage. But the main issue is that they are complaining that he is dating a white girl, and they would rather he date someone of his own race and culture. Also, they don’t like that I am a year older than him, and do not have a high-paying job (I work full-time at a museum). This would be a pain, but the reason it seems serious is because it is expected that his parents will live with him one day. If they were kind, helpful, and loving that wouldn’t be a problem. But I can’t spend decades living with people who hate me. How do I have this conversation with my boyfriend? How do I know if this is make or break? How do I help him understand the importance of not bringing me into a home where I’m despised?

—Can Parents Break a Relationship?

MyNameIsNot

Your words. Use them. 

banana468

I think you need to talk to your BF and ask him what he thinks of the relationship, your long term plans and whether he also supports the cultural norm of parents living with children as they age.  You need to be on the same page or cut bait. 

short+sassy

They're young now, so it's easy to ignore.  But she shouldn't.  Knowing your partner plans to have their parents to move in with them someday is a major piece of information.  It would be a dealbreaker for me and that's without worrying about their disapproval.

I mean, it's one thing if a parent needs to move in with their child for health issues.  But it's quite another when that is absolutely the plan.

The sad thing is, sometimes love isn't enough.  People also need to be on the same page for major decisions and be able to live amicably.