I am a happily married man with two awesome kids. My high school girlfriend “Lisa” has recently gotten in contact with me and dropped a bombshell. She confessed that, unbeknownst to me, I got her pregnant 20 years ago when we were teenagers and my mother bribed her to have an abortion. I no longer have contact with my mother, but this type of controlling behavior is very characteristic of her. Lisa, who is childless and unmarried now, has a lot of regrets about the abortion and requested that I father another child with her to replace the one she lost then.
I realize this is an extremely unorthodox request, but I feel very badly about what my mother’s toxic behavior put Lisa through. I can just picture Lisa coming to my mother to ask for help and my mother verbally berating her into submission. I asked my wife for her thoughts on the idea, and she angrily shot it down and said it would be cheating. To be clear, I get that extramarital sex is literally the definition of cheating, but this scenario is kind of different because I’d only be doing it to help Lisa. Can it really technically be considered cheating if it’s for an altruistic reason? I’m considering going ahead with it despite my wife’s objections. Do you think I’m justified to do so, or is my wife correct that this would be cheating? If I do go ahead with it, should I tell my wife I’m doing it despite her objections, or just leave her out of it entirely? I realize there is no way to make everyone happy here, but I’m just trying to do the right thing.
—The Son of Mommy Dearest