A stutter is not a microaggression

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I have a moderately bad stutter. This is not something I can control, and even after years of speech therapy, there are still some days when it is very noticeable. I have more trouble with certain sounds than others, particularly hard consonants, think: hard K sounds, hard Gs, etc. I generally avoid words that begin with these sounds when I can, but there is one time I can’t: other people’s names. I’m white. White people getting people’s names wrong is obviously a microaggression. I am very aware of this. However, if I am having a bad speech day, I’m going to have as much trouble with a Kristen as I am with a Krishna, because the problem is not the pronunciation so much as my physical inability to not stumble over the beginning sound.

My question is: What is the politeness protocol here? How do I discreetly make it clear that if I stutter over someone’s name this is an unfortunate neurological problem on my end and not intentional disrespect? With people you know well that’s easy, but you can’t dump all that in someone you’re meeting professionally in passing. I am sure there is a way to help honor people’s names and not make people feel uncomfortable when my brain and mouth just won’t cooperate. Any ideas?

—Feel Like Porky Pig Over Here

charlotte989875

I feel for LW, but I think the answer is to pronounce their names the best you can and if it’s a really tough day offer “I’m sorry, I struggle with words that begin with K” and move on. 

mrsconn23

I think LW is overthinking this. We had a VP get up during our luncheon yesterday and butcher almost every name he called out.  He made a joke of it at the top saying he's 'terrible with names'.   Hell, I struggle through phonics often.  I mispronounce stuff all the time and when someone says it correctly, I'm all, "OHHH that's how you say that!" 

LW can just own their stutter, ask how names are pronounced, and if they screw it up, "Oops sorry, I have a stutter and words can be hard sometimes." 

short+sassy

I think it's usually obvious when someone means disrespect vs. someone having trouble pronouncing a name, especially when it's a stutter.

The LW should let it go most of the time and doesn't need to explain anything.  Maybe if it's an especially bad occurrence, a smile and quick apology that sometimes "K" (or "G") sounds are hard for them to pronounce.