Parents and Dance

knottie1be9d1e7ac16ef02

My parents have said that they refuse to have any dancing at all during the reception. It is a light reception, in the afternoon (about two hours in length, no alcohol), but my fiance wanted to at least have the traditional couple/parents dance. My parents put a firm no on that, as they were worried that other people would not understand that the dancing was only limited to the parents and couple, and would want to take over and keep having open dances. So, now there is no dancing. My fiance thinks they are being controlling. I understand their viewpoint, but wish they were a bit more easygoing. Anyway, I just wanted to see if this is a commonly seen thing, or if I am completely alone on this. Thank you.

ILoveBeachMusic

Well, for an afternoon cake and punch reception dancing isn't expected. I am assuming that is what you are hosting. Are your parents paying for the reception? If so, there are strings attached! If you really want to have dancing, you can decline your parents' financial assistance and have dancing. However, I think it would be weird to just have the spotlight dances and no other dancing.

MobKaz

knottie1be9d1e7ac16ef02 said:

My parents have said that they refuse to have any dancing at all during the reception. It is a light reception, in the afternoon (about two hours in length, no alcohol), but my fiance wanted to at least have the traditional couple/parents dance. My parents put a firm no on that, as they were worried that other people would not understand that the dancing was only limited to the parents and couple, and would want to take over and keep having open dances. So, now there is no dancing. My fiance thinks they are being controlling. I understand their viewpoint, but wish they were a bit more easygoing. Anyway, I just wanted to see if this is a commonly seen thing, or if I am completely alone on this. Thank you.

You and your fiance are starting your new lives as a new family.  Your parents should NOT be dictating what you do as a married couple.  While they are within their rights to decline a parent dance, the decision as to whether you and your husband enjoy a dance is up to you!

Will you be playing background music during your reception?  If it is simply background, instrumental music, guests may not even consider dancing.  If you want to enjoy a dance with your husband, incorporate it into a timeline where it is subtly clear that is the only dancing expectation.  However, I have 2 sets of friends who would have no problem enjoying a slow dance if the mood strikes, just because they love to dance. 

MesmrEwe

You are alone in that you are choosing your parents wants/desires for your reception and not your fiance's wants/desires for your Fiance's Wedding too! 

Nothing says you have to have a full-on DJ, you can have a few spotlight dances with a computer and a simple bluetooth speaker, but Have the dances your FI wants!!!  FWIW - have a few (10 tops!) "fun" audience/guests songs too (Cha Cha Slide, Chicken Dance, YMCA, Uptown Funk, The Twist, Party Rock, some Rock Ballad, etc. Ending with "Closing Time!" or similar closer - Yes - close out the Dance...)

Jen4948

I have to agree with your fiance that your parents are being unreasonably controlling. 

They don't have to pay for a band or DJ. I fully agree that if dancing is something you and your fiance want, then you and your fiance need to assume the cost of that. And I fully agree that your parents should not be pressured into dancing if they don't want to.

But if they are not paying, they should not be deciding for anyone else whether there is dancing. If they want to put their feet down, they can stay home. They do not get to insist that there be no dancing whatsoever. Even if they are paying, if dancing is something your fiance really wants, unwillingness to compromise is not a good stance for your parents to take.

I do feel that if there is dancing, you should open the dance floor to everyone and not reserve it solely for a "first dance" for you and your fiance. If I were a wedding guest, I would not enjoy watching you dance while not having the option to dance myself.