My best friend is having a knee replaced. The spouse and I are providing in-home care after surgery. After the last surgery, we had bad med reactions and numerous 911 calls to scrape them off the floor. The patient refused to return to the hospital. There were delusional ramblings and thinking due to the med reaction. The patient refuses an after-surgery care center or paid, skilled home care, which they can easily afford. The adult child refuses to be involved unless the patient is reasonable. The spouse tried to stand up to the patient once in the mid-1960’s, but it didn’t go well and hasn’t tried since. The spouse has a heart condition and other medical issues.
We’re all geezers. The spouse agrees we need a written after-care plan. We have a good start via email, but the entire family knows the patient will veto it. The spouse will grumble, complain, and fold. The surgeon hasn’t involved the spouse. The patient has almost no muscle tone and will not do the physical therapy. This is a sure thing. Clearly, these are lifelong issues.
—After Care Nightmare