Wedding Woes
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One bad apple (or pecan, in this case).

Dear Prudence,

We live on an acre with mature pecan trees. The nuts rain down like crazy and we go out to collect them and put them in bags to give away. We never had a problem until our new neighbors showed up. We have several nut rollers and leave them outside and a sign that people are welcome to drop in and ask to use them to harvest their own. We don’t have fences but we do have cameras. We caught our new neighbor (who didn’t even introduce themselves) taking the rollers to get several bags of pecans and walking off with the rollers as well.

When we went over to confront our neighbor, they denied ever going over, and when we showed them the video on our phone, they slammed the door in our faces. We decided it wasn’t worth a feud but we did stop the pecan-picking policy. We put up no trespassing signs and publicly said we weren’t allowing it anymore. Many people are upset since it was a free, fun activity they could do with their kids and are asking why. My wife doesn’t want to tell on our new neighbor. I just want to say someone stole from us and we are not rewarding it. The nut rollers aren’t very expensive but it is the principle of the thing. So what should we do?

—In a Nutshell

Re: One bad apple (or pecan, in this case).

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    If LW really wants to allow other people to pick pecans, they can have signs up with instructions on how to let them know people want to do so. They could also have certain times picking is allowed. If they are on good enough terms with people who want to pick they could just call them and say "hey we have a bumper crop want to come over and get some pecans?"
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    What about making friends and having a party that's exclusive and by invitation only? 

    Also, keep the cameras on and if there are other neighbors warn them about the thief. 
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    Good fences make good neighbors. 

    Tell your friends and acquaintances to knock and you'll let them in.
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    I totally understand why the LW is so angry at their neighbors.  It's not even the cost of the nut rollers as it is someone stealing from them.  Plus it's inconvenient, because now they need to go buy more nut rollers.

    But it seems like they're throwing the baby out with the bathwater.  I don't see anything wrong with just putting more limits on the pecan picking, like some of you all have mentioned.  Keep future nut rollers in a locked shed.

    They are also much nicer people than me.  I would have called the police to have my nut rollers returned to me.  And thrown the neighbors under the bus to everyone that asked why they can't come harvest pecans anymore.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Tell your friends and neighbors you do trust to call/text and you’ll leave the rollers out for them, but out a tote or something they can leave them in when they’re finished. Leave the cameras on. 

    Your new neighbors are the bad guys here, not you, and I think it’s fine to tell people someone made it untenable to allow open access to your property but you’re happy to have close friends drop by. 
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