Dear Prudence,
I was engaged at 22 to “Patrick.” We never married because before the wedding, my sister “Cindy” revealed that she’d slept with Patrick and was pregnant with his child. He denied it, but I called off the wedding anyway. However, Cindy never gave birth and was apparently never pregnant. This made me doubt her story. Cindy had always been a very difficult person prone to outbursts and problematic behavior. For example, she once vandalized an ex-boyfriend’s car, and was caught stealing at her job.
Later on, Patrick and I started talking again. He assured me Cindy was a liar and knowing some of her problematic behavior, I ended up believing Patrick, befriending him again, and my relationship with Cindy became so strained we cut off contact. Patrick and I never became a couple again, but we did remain friends.
A few months ago, Patrick passed away. I attended his funeral and afterwards got to talking with his estranged daughter, “Denise.”
I was shocked when Denise told me Patrick’s marriage had ended years before because he made a pass at his sister-in-law. Apparently, Patrick cheated for many years but that was the last straw. It’s also why Denise was estranged. Patrick never told me any of this. Looking back, I realize that my good friend was a liar and a cheat. I now believe Cindy was telling me the truth years before when she said Patrick slept with her. I basically ruined my relationship with my sister over this man, and I don’t know how to repair it. I want to apologize to her and tell her I was wrong, but I’m afraid too many years have passed and I’ve hurt her too deeply.
—I Believed a Liar