This is an episode of Friends.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My fiancé has always been close to his sister, “Becky.” They text each other daily and frequently talk on the phone. They’re twins, and I thought I understood their bond. However, we went to his family’s house for Thanksgiving, and I met Becky for the first time—she’s been working abroad for the past two years and only moved back to the U.S. last month—and to be honest, I was a little freaked out about their closeness. Becky and my fiancé finish each other’s sentences, giggle at their private jokes, and are often physically affectionate. Hugging, kissing on the cheek, holding hands. At one point, Becky even sat on my fiancé’s lap and pretended he was “Santa.” Apparently, it’s an old joke of theirs. I have two brothers, but I’ve never behaved like that with them.

On the drive back from his family’s house, I told my boyfriend that I found the way he interacts with Becky “icky.” He blew up and accused me of having a dirty mind. I apologized, feeling that I overreacted. However, now that we’re back home, I keep thinking about Becky and I do think it’s icky. Should I talk to my fiancé about the ick factor again? I don’t know if I can stand to see Becky sitting on my fiancé’s lap giggling and baby talking at future family functions. It’s too disturbing. I’ve even thought about proposing a tropical vacation instead of the next visit so we can be away from his family. This is the perfect man if he didn’t have that weird dynamic with his sister!

—Too Close for Comfort

ILoveBeachMusic

Twins are a whole 'nother thing! However, LW doesn't know if this behavior will continue. FI and his sister hadn't seen each other in two years if I understood the letter correctly. They might have just done the Santa thing because it was part of reminiscing. It probably isn't an everytime they get together thing. However, if this really bothers LW she needs to end the engagements. This twin relationship has been going on a lot longer than theirs and probably won't change.

charlotte989875

The one with the twin? 

Twins have a different connection that many no. Twin siblings. I think this is a lot of affection but that doesn’t mean it’s and! In many cultures siblings, friends hug, kiss on the cheek, hold hands and it’s normalized. You don’t have to be okay with it but that doesn’t mean they’re doing anything wrong. 

Is he affectionate with you? With other people in his family? Is this a Becky specific thing? What’s the whole context here. 

short+sassy

Unusually affectionate for siblings in the US culture?  Sure.  But something wrong and alarming?  Not even close.

This is the LW's hangup.  She can get over it and privately roll her eyes.  Or she should break up with her fiance, because it isn't like he'll never see his sister again.  And he also shouldn't have to change his perfectly fine, if a bit odd, behavior for her.

I don't remember a Friends episode like this.  Though I do remember that Phoebe had a twin sister (Ursula) and their dynamic was not what you expect with twins because they hated each other and were NC.  

levioosa

There’s a Game of Thrones joke in here somewhere. 

ILoveBeachMusic

Other than my own grandsons, I have known several sets of twins both identical and fraternal. Identical ones tend to have a closer and what LW would consider odd behavior but fraternal ones can still have that twin-ness. I really think it is difficult for non-twins to understand. I was in college with a set of identical twin women (they were a year or two ahead of me). They dressed alike and only went on double dates. They also lived together all 4 years. Another set lived in the same dorm but with different room mates. They didn't exclusively double date. They did belong to the same sorority.

MyNameIsNot

levioosa said:

There’s a Game of Thrones joke in here somewhere. 

I was thinking Flowers in the Attic and then I realized I'm 100 years old.

CharmedPam

I dunno I find it weird myself.  Not a twin though.  And really not close to any. 

On the same lines, exH would kiss his mom on the lips.  I always thought that was weird. He told me his ex wife thought so too so I know I wasn't alone. It wasn’t an “ewww I’m not marrying you” weird. Obviously.  Because we did end up getting married. I just kept my thoughts to myself. 

short+sassy

MyNameIsNot said:

show previous quotes

levioosa said:

There’s a Game of Thrones joke in here somewhere. 

I was thinking Flowers in the Attic and then I realized I'm 100 years old.

Omg, yes!  In jr. high and early high school, my friends and I would wait in anticipation for the next VC Andrews book to come out.

I was pretty sure Flowers in the Attic came out before then, so I looked it up.  It is even older than I thought.  It was one of her first novels and it came out in 1979. 

Now I feel betrayed by my online discoveries.  She died in 1986.  Which I was initially confused about because tons more of her books came out after her death, including ones my friends and I had been excited about for their release. 

Apparently, her family hired a ghost writer (Andrew Neiderman) to finish her manuscripts.  

CharmedPam

short+sassy said

Apparently, her family hired a ghost writer (Andrew Neiderman) to finish her manuscripts.  

Sib

yup.  She heavily wrote the bones of the ones she wanted done and then he went onto making his own books under her name and theme (which is basically incest) and he suuuuucked