Have you asked him why he's the grumpiest cat?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I have a very low-stakes issue here! My partner and I are both working from home and have had some friction around our morning routines lately. We’re in bed about the same amount each day. He stays up a bit later than me and also naturally wakes up earlier—having a long nap each afternoon. I don’t nap, but instead sleep from about 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. This works out fine as far as we go, we’re not precious about going to sleep or waking up together. It is an issue with our cats though!

Our cats are perfectly happy to stay in bed as long as we do, but as soon as one of us is up, they start the nonstop crying for breakfast. It only takes a few minutes, but those minutes of two cats running around in circles screaming their heads off is a jarring start to the day. This is almost always my partner by default, but I’m finding myself coming downstairs more and more often to him being grumpy and acting passive aggressive about having to be the one to make coffee, feel the cats’ rage, and give one their medication.

It’s not that I’m lazing in bed and ignoring the cats, that’s all usually done before my alarm goes off. I don’t really see any way around the first person up being subject to the overwhelming cat cacophony. I’m sorry that it’s almost always him, but it just seems like the way the cards have been dealt! Sometimes he’s up naturally as early as 5 a.m., which I’m just not going to match. I try to make up for this by being the one to stock the food and meds, as well as do their nighttime feedings (which they’re much calmer about). We can’t really do an automatic feeder due to a combo of wet food, meds, and a sneaky dog. What do you think? Should he just deal with cats and stop giving me side-eye and snippy remarks about it? Should I try to get up earlier than him a few days a week?

—Sleeping Through a Cat-astrophe

charlotte989875

I’d you can’t do automatic feeders at least set up the coffee the night before.

You all have high maintenance cats, which means someone had to maintain them. If he chooses to get up early and go downstairs seems like the cats have determined he will be the one to feed them. So he can 1) sleep in, 2) stay upstairs, 3) suck it up for 5 minutes and recognize it’s what you do for your pets. 

Who does this on the weekend? 

short+sassy

I'm enjoying the phrases "cats' rage" and "sneaky dog".

There are probably some practical suggestions.  Like putting an automatic feeder where the dog can't reach, but the cats can.  I realize one takes medication.  But as long as it will take the medication with a treat or a little extra food later, then I don't see the big deal about that.

At the same time, the cats don't bug them until one of them wakes up.  That is definitely something to be thankful for.

Maybe the b/f is grumpy because he's not a morning person even if he gets up early and it doesn't have that much to do with the cats.

The LW even says it's just making coffee and two minutes of the cats being annoying.  He's being a jerk to side-eye the LW and make snippy comments for tasks that are hardly anything.  It's also no reason for the LW to disrupt their sleep and get up 2 hours early.

Perhaps there is another minor chore the b/f doesn't like doing, but the LW doesn't mind.  Then the cat/coffee chore would be the b/f's and the other chore would always be the LW.

kerbohl

My husband wakes up earlier than me.  Despite that, my dog only gets up when I get up.  If I wake up earlier than him, she is up then.  She waits for me.  So before, I was the one that had to always feed her.  But we've developed a happy medium where he gets her food ready, and when I wake up she eats and then I let her out and walk her.  Otherwise it was ALWAYS me taking care of her.
Animals are going to do what they are going to do.  This early riser just has to deal with the fact that this inevitable means he is taking care of the cats.  

short+sassy

kerbohl said:

My husband wakes up earlier than me.  Despite that, my dog only gets up when I get up.  If I wake up earlier than him, she is up then.  She waits for me.  So before, I was the one that had to always feed her.  But we've developed a happy medium where he gets her food ready, and when I wake up she eats and then I let her out and walk her.  Otherwise it was ALWAYS me taking care of her.
Animals are going to do what they are going to do.  This early riser just has to deal with the fact that this inevitable means he is taking care of the cats.  

A sign to me that my dog is getting older is she has changed her morning behavior.

For most of her life, whomever got up first had to let her out into our backyard to pee.  But a couple years ago, she started lazing around in bed and now usually gets out of bed when the last person does.

My H usually goes to bed first.  But our dog will wait until I go to bed, before she will go.  But the funny part is that, if she is ready to go to bed, she starts getting antsy with me if I am not ready yet.

I'll sometimes walk her to the bedroom and encourage her to jump on the bed and stay there.  Sometimes she stays there.  Sometimes she jumps down to follow me back to the living room and the "harassment" continues.  Then she wised up to it.  Now, she usually waits until I've climbed under the covers until she gets on the bed.

But it's so WEIRD!  Izzy, seriously.  If you are tired, you can go to bed without me.  One of your persons is already there.