Is there a question here?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

Recently, I moved across the country after retiring from a demanding but great job. In the new location, I have family and dear friends, a couple I’ve known for almost 40 years. I feel supported and welcomed, but things also feel ambivalent. The husband offers advice, but he often dismisses my feelings and experiences. I am learning how to respond. His wife has been one of my most supportive friends, but since I’ve moved here, I am unsure how she feels about it. I don’t expect her to drop everything just because I am in the same city. I am highly sensitive given a recent short friendship I broke off in my previous city with a toxic and needy person. I bend over backward to be self-sufficient and respectful of my friends’ time, but I am unsure of where I fit in now that I live in the same city.

short+sassy

The ambivalence is because the friends are still living their lives the way they always have.  Whereas it's the LW who has had major changes in theirs.

Especially if they are retired now, but most of their friends are not.

I don't see this as a friends' problem.  I see it more as the LW doesn't know what to do with themselves now that they have gone from 60 to 0.

That's huge!  "Demanding" suggests they were very busy and had a lot of responsibilities.  "Great" suggests they enjoyed their work and it filled a place in their life.

But now they aren't busy at work anymore and there is a void that work used to fill.  I've heard this is pretty common with retirees and assume there are articles and forums that can help them transition into this new chapter in life.  Perhaps some sessions with a therapist would be beneficial also.