Do they not...know...the old neighbor moved out?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I recently moved to a new neighborhood and while I’m friendly with my neighbors, I highly value my privacy. There’s one neighbor who doesn’t seem to respect boundaries. He and his young son often come over and play in my yard or driveway without asking for permission. For instance, one Sunday morning, I was enjoying my coffee on my screened porch when I looked up to see them using my basketballs and hoops. This is a regular occurrence and happens at various times throughout each day.

How can I address this situation and ask my neighbor to respect my boundaries and privacy without coming across as rude? I want to maintain a good relationship with them but I also want to ensure that my personal space is respected.

—Please Go Away

mrsconn23

I think the last neighbor set this precedent and the neighbor, in a very misguided train of thought, apparently thinks LW will be equally as cool with it.  This sucks for LW.  I'd try to be as nice as possible with my initial request.  But ugh, they apparently lack any sense of boundaries.  I truly hope dad will not be combative about it.  Fingers crossed for you, LW. 

MyNameIsNot

"Hi, can I help you?" 

short+sassy

USE.YOUR.WORDS!

I don't understand how people can be this conflict-averse.  Go over to them when they are outside or knock on their door and say something like, "I've noticed you all sometimes use my yard, driveway, and basketball hoop.  Please stop doing that."  There is nothing rude about it.

------

Why is my life plagued with abandoned basketball hoops? Lol.  Here are two stories.

We renovated two duplexes that were next to each other.  There was a basketball hoop left in one of the backyards.  We left it there, in case any of the tenants wanted it.  But the first tenant, who had an 8-year-old son, complained that neighborhood kids were coming into the backyard to play with it.  Which made no sense to me because there was a giant park with basketball courts, fields, and playground equipment about two blocks away.  But whatever.  I asked her if it was okay if we got rid of the basketball hoop.  She said it was, so that was how we solved the problem.

----

I bought a foreclosed duplex and renovated it.  I don't know if it belonged to the previous tenants or if some local kids put it there, but there was a portable basketball hoop in the driveway that the neighborhood kids often played with.

While we were doing renovations, I didn't worry about it.  But once we had the new windows put in, my H and I happened to be there on a Saturday.  A group of kids was in the driveway across the street.

My H and I approached them.  I tried to be as nice and friendly as I could be, because I'm an adult stranger.  I told them we were going to remove the basketball hoop on Monday.  But if any of them wanted it, they could have it.  They just needed it removed before Monday.

One of the older kids (probably 13-14) told me with a bratty tone, "We don't have to move the basketball hoop."

Me, with a tone so sweet sugar wouldn't melt in my mouth, "Of course not!  It's no problem if you all don't want it.  But we're going to cut the pole in half on Monday and have it taken with the trash.  So if you know someone who would want it, they are welcome to come take it this weekend."

One of the younger and wiser little boys hurriedly told me that he was going to ask his mom if they could have it.  He lived in the house they were standing in front of.

He ran back out and told me his mom said it was okay.  He then asked the bratty kid and another older boy if they would move it to his driveway, lmao.  They did and my H helped them.