Wedding Woes

No one is owed an invite to your home.

Dear Prudence,

A few months ago, my high school best friend came to visit my city and stayed with me for a long weekend. It was great to see her and to catch up for a few days. The problem is that when she visited, we posted pictures on social media of her stay, and a mutual friend from school, “Angie,” now wants to come to visit. I still chat regularly with Angie on social media, but I really do not want her to visit. She is very high-maintenance in a helpless sort of way, where she has very specific ideas of what she wants to do and will cry if people don’t agree to them (i.e. a group votes to go to a different restaurant than what she wants, or she has to get an Uber instead of someone driving her home). Angie is now reaching out and saying, “I want to visit sometime in the next year, what weekends are good for you? Open your calendar app and let’s pick one.” I’ve tried dodging the conversation, but now apparently she’s crying to other people and telling them that I “must like [best friend] better than me.” My husband has said we should just tell a lie to get her to back off (like say our landlord has started forbidding guests), but I feel like that’s just going to bite us if someone calls us out. What should we do?

—Glad I Don’t Still Live In My Hometown

Re: No one is owed an invite to your home.

  • I would love to hear that [Distant Friend] is whining to all our mutual friends that I like [Bestie] better than her.

    "I mean, Beth is my BFF, I do like her best than pretty much everyone." Actually, I think I would start proactively making social media posts about how Bestie is my favorite person on earth or whatever. 
  • I would like to know how old all of these people are.  I have a feeling they're closer to or over 30, when they all sound about 22 right now.  

    LW, you don't like Angie.  Stop letting history or mutual friends be the thing that keeps her in your life.  Ignore the demand (yes, it's a demand...not even a request) to visit you.  

    And dear god, stop feeling bad about liking your best friend better than some  (whiny and boorish) HS acquaintance. 
  • Tell her where good hotels are and make a dinner reservation. Tell her you’re sorry but you can’t accommodate her staying at your house. 

    She ridiculous but you’re being evasive and childish too. 
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