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Wedding Woes

Sis has launched herself into the K-Pop deep end.

Dear Prudence,

My sister “Sonja” has become obsessed with a K-Pop boy band, and it is ruining her life. She originally found solace in them after a long-term relationship ended, and I was glad her hobby brought her joy. But slowly but surely, it has consumed her entire life.

She compulsively listens to nothing but their music and watches nothing on TV but things involving them. I can’t hold a conversation with her that doesn’t involve them in some capacity. If I try, she becomes angry and snaps at me. Most worrisome is that she is literally bankrupting herself buying their merchandise. She makes good money but has no savings. All of it goes towards buying things featuring them, her credit cards are maxed out, and bills are now an afterthought. It is a true shopaholic addiction. I know she’s likely depressed and has anxiety plus possibly has other issues, but she refuses to see a therapist. Is there anything I can do to help her? This situation would sound almost humorous if it hadn’t spiraled so far out of control. I might add we’re not young adults, we’re both in our thirties for goodness sake!

—Did Fans of the Beatles Have This Problem

Re: Sis has launched herself into the K-Pop deep end.

  • You really can't do anything about it. It's clearly not healthy, but you can't force her to get help or perspective if she doesn't want to. 
  • This isn’t just a shopping addiction- it sounds like a parasocial relationship. She needs serious help. 

    You can try to continue to point out that all your conversations involve the band, if she asks for money decline and say why. But you can’t force her to get help until she’s ready. 
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