Dear Prudence,
I am treading water on a somewhat difficult friend dynamic. I have been good friends with Mary and Bob (names changed) since high school. We grew up together in a small community where everyone knows each other. I was excited for them when they made a love connection and got married. We even lived across the street from each other. As marriages sometimes do, this one ended four years ago. Their three children are similar in ages to mine, and we often still share playdates.
Within the last year or so, Susan moved to town and she is outwardly interested in Bob. She also has one child of a similar age. More often than not, Susan, Bob, and I have family get-togethers. Bob has shared with me that he is aware that both Susan and his ex (Mary) are interested in him, but he has no interest whatsoever in having a romantic relationship with either of them.
I feel very stuck in the middle. All three of them at one time or another have confided in me their feelings, often on the same day! Mary thinks Susan is using her kids to form a deeper connection with Bob, and is disrespecting her in the process, and to a degree, I am inclined to agree. Bob just likes having friends. He’ll hang out with anybody that asks. Last night, Mary asked that I be present when she confronts Susan and establishes some boundaries. Short of never speaking to any of them again, what should I do here (if anything at all).
—Stuck in the Middle