Nope, nope, nope, hell no.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My grandmother was never warm and fuzzy when I was growing up. Now she is a miserable old witch draining the life out of my mom and uncle. She isn’t satisfied with anything and makes demands like a spoiled toddler. She uses a walker but expects my mom to run home every day to make her lunch. My uncle needs to drop everything if she can’t figure out how to watch her shows. She ignores her doctors and can’t make an appointment that doesn’t conflict with anyone else’s schedule. She insults everyone and tries to guilt you if you call her on it. “Oh, you just want me to die.” “Oh, you want to throw me out in the streets.” “Oh, you want to put me in a home like a dog.”

Worse, she dotes on her monster of a dog that bites. It looks more like a blimp with teeth and my grandmother will feed it human food so it poops all over the floor. I live three hours away and when I visit to give my mother some respite, I try not to interact with my grandmother. I deep clean, work on the yard, and go grocery shopping. I got into a fight with my grandmother because after I came home and started to unload the groceries, she demanded I run across town and pick up a rotisserie chicken. Not for us but for her dog. I told her no and she swore at me. I put the groceries up and took a long walk before I did something I regretted. Now my mom and uncle both blame me for setting off my grandmother. I am tired. I feel guilty that my mom and uncle have to handle this but I can’t deal with it. They refuse to look for governmental aid or sell her old house and look for a retirement home. I don’t know what to do. Help!

—Kids Aren’t a Retirement Plan

banana468

"Look - I know grandma is set in her ways and is not going to change.  That does not mean that I am to blame for her behavior.  She's like this all the time. The only difference is that on Saturday I was there and engaged with her to turn into a terrible person.  Monday through Friday you two had each other.  Mom and Uncle Buck,  I want to come to town every now and then to help you but if you don't have my back when I'm treated poorly my involvement will be a gift card to Boston Market for that rotisserie chicken." 

levioosa

The first paragraph could have been my dad's mom. Helllll to the nooooo. Life is too short for that nonsense and mom needs to get to some support groups for adult children with narcissitic parents. 

short+sassy

banana468 said:

"Look - I know grandma is set in her ways and is not going to change.  That does not mean that I am to blame for her behavior.  She's like this all the time. The only difference is that on Saturday I was there and engaged with her to turn into a terrible person.  Monday through Friday you two had each other.  Mom and Uncle Buck,  I want to come to town every now and then to help you but if you don't have my back when I'm treated poorly my involvement will be a gift card to Boston Market for that rotisserie chicken." 

Yeesssss!  If I ever become a cranky old lady, that is all I need!

It brings me sadness they almost don't exist anymore.  They were never in New Orleans.  There was one in Baton Rouge for the first few years I lived here, but it is long gone.  Same with the one closest to my mom's house that also closed down years ago.

I've only had it twice in the last 20 years (sniff, sniff).  One of the highlights of my reconnaissance trip to Ocala, FL a few years ago was having Boston Market chicken for Christmas dinner!

short+sassy

Back from my Google search, lol.

In the entire state of OH, there is only ONE Boston Market left.  Alas, it is closer to Cleveland than Cincy.