Dinah needs to go for your kids and your marriage.
Dear Prudence,
My niece, “Dinah,” was running with a rough crowd, and my sister-in-law couldn’t control her. She begged my wife to take her in so she could have a fresh start. The best that I can say is that we got Dinah to graduate. Dinah is defiant, rude, and unable to expect the consequences of her own actions. We had a rule that after she turned 18, she needed to get a job or go to school. Dinah failed to do either. She would waste our money by skipping her community college classes and lying about it. She quit jobs within a week of getting them. Then she would get a boyfriend to live off of until he could get sick of her, and she would bounce back to our house with all the pretty promises that she never attempted to keep. We only have three bedrooms. Our sons share a room, but the oldest will be starting middle school soon. I told my wife I was done with Dinah. She is 20 now. We did our duty to her and got only grief back. Her sister claims Dinah can’t come back because she will fall back into her bad habits. My wife and I are fighting about this. We need some help, please.
—Done with Dinah
Re: Dinah needs to go for your kids and your marriage.
Dinah needs tough love and not an enabler.
In the meantime, his best bet is to wait until she leaves again to move in with a b/f. Then take a hard stand with his wife that the niece will never be allowed to move back in, no matter the circumstances. I think that will be an easier pill for the wife to swallow when the niece is already moved out.
It's also easier from a legal perspective, jic the niece gets enough gumption to file for an illegal eviction if they just kick her out one day with no notice. If she hadn't been living there of her own volition, even if it turned out to be temporary, then she is no longer a tenant/lodger and they don't have to let her move back in.