this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Woes

Y'all never talked about this before getting married and moving in?

Dear Prudence, 

My husband and I are on our second marriages and working on blending our family. We have two kids (13/15) from my previous marriage that he has stepped up to be their dad. One thing that we’re not in agreement on is our sleeping schedules. We moved into our house together after marriage and have been navigating this for about six months. He’s a night owl and I am an early riser. We both work from home so we have plenty of time to talk throughout the day, but he’ll take a nap in the afternoon and afterschool tasks, dinner, practices, and pick ups will be my responsibility from 3p.m. to 10 p.m. He works overnight on Friday and Saturday for additional money so the weeknights are our time to fall asleep together. He’ll wake up from an afternoon nap and then chill downstairs or barely engage with us upstairs and then wants to have an update on how things with me and kids are going when I come to bed. He says it’s  equal me having time to myself from 5:30 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. while the house is quiet in the morning to meditate. I told him this is not the same and he says he needs his time like I have my time and is not interested in changing because this is important to him. I didn’t see this coming, and I’m tired of asking my husband to fall asleep with me. Are my expectations unreasonable, are these things the same?

—Losing the Fight to Fight

Re: Y'all never talked about this before getting married and moving in?

  • I might’ve misread something but 5:30-6:30am and 3-10pm are not the same thing…is the latter his working hours or his “down time”?  With the kids being older there’s certainly more flexibility for everyone to have an hour to themselves most days. But unless i misunderstood something, the H’s seems like a lot. 
  • I mean, can you show this guy a spreadsheet and the tasks??   If this is a great relationship otherwise then I think you need to lay it all out there that one hour of free time in the morning is not the same thing as the hours he gets that are concentrated prep time.   

    If he's not receptive to you showing him the imbalance then you need to end the marriage or at least acknowledge he's not the partner you thought he was nor will he ever be. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards