Too emotional at ceremony!!

DLuchner

I need help because I'm getting married in less than a month and I'm starting to panic because I have never been able to watch a wedding, even on tv without bawling my eyes out.  I don't know what my problem is, I can be completely fine and as soon as the music starts i'm a mess.  All I can imagine is me just crying from the minute I step on the aisle til the end and that is not pretty!!  And I don't even mean just emotional bride crying, I'm an ugly crier lol.  I've been trying to condition myself by listening to my wedding music alot but as soon as it starts playing I even tear up at work!  Geez.  Any brides have any suggestions or tell me how they keep calm at their weddings?  I don't want pictures of me bawling the whole time! 

Knittibell

I've been to a couple of weddings where the bride cried through the whole thing, and it actually got me and a bunch of others crying with her! It's FINE! There is nothing you can do, honestly- you'll either bawl your eyes out, or the nerves will calm you. When I got married, I was fine, until my vows, then I started sobbing, and then just in case our guests didn't know why, I turned to them and choked out "happy... happy tears!" which got everyone laughing, and now is a favorite moment from our video.

But really, don't stress about it. Do have a tissue, and practice dabbing at your eyes/nose. Do wear as much waterproof/sweatproof makeup as you can, and other than that, cry your eyes out babe- they're happy tears!

trix1223

You know, it's funny.  My DD is a crier.  At her brother's wedding, she got to the top of the aisle as a BM, started crying and cried ALL the way down the aisle and through most of the ceremony.

I figured she was a goner on her wedding day.    But she was so happy that she beamed as she walked toward her DH and continued beaming through the ceremony.

You might just surprise yourself!  GL   

jenn.daniel

At the lsat wedding we attended, the bride AND groom were both struggling to get through their vows.  The BMs were all teary and so were most of us guests.  It's fine, and you probably won't be the only one.

jenzibaba

I am exactly the same way...music hits me hard!!  I'm contemplating playing a non-traditional, happier, more upbeat song to walk in the ceremony too, because if I play Canon in D or the traditional Wedding March, I'll be a mess!!  I'm thinking of playing Somewhere Over The Rainbow...I hope this works and I don't end up blowing any snot bubbles!! lol

Speechie1970

Don't worry - if you cry, you cry!  Just be prepared with a hankie and waterproof mascara.  Bring yoru bridal survival kit and do some make-up touch up before your pictures!

zachsgirl91809

I thought I would cry, especially when I surprised the groom to sing to him during the cermony.  But I was so happy and on cloud nine, I didn't shed a tear!
My sister-in-law said the same thing (and we are both VERY emotional people). But my bridesmaids and I wrapped a white tissue (I forgot my white hankie) around our bouquet handles (they were white as well, so you couldn't see them) just in case!
Good Luck!

craftfreak

My best friend thought that she would be a wreck, but she beamed with such a smile on her face the whole time.  It was us bridesmaids who were a wreck.  You may find that it will be much different when you get married.  And if you cry, you cry!  While the wedding may seem like a theatrical show for which you have to do an absolute perfect performance, it's not.  It's about you and your FH sharing something amazingly special.  If that causes you to cry, so be it.  Everyone at the ceremony will be touched anyways.  And your bridesmaids should be there to adjust any make-up issues afterwards before pictures.  (Just give them a warning so they come prepared.)  Make sure you wear waterproof mascara!

tropicanha

I thought I was going to be a goner at my wedding last month - the month before that when my friend got married I couldn't help but cry. I surely thought I'd cry my eyes out walking down the aisle and then some, but I was fine. Turns out I almost cried during our first dance though! You may just surprise yourself and be okay. There's not much you can do aside from keep a tissue in a safe place and possibly be ready to use it! I find it sweet when the bride and/or groom shed some tears.

anne.azano

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_emotional-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:7334a4fc-0047-485e-bc20-aae88700e519Post:e1148077-ccd3-4b79-8486-73388746b666">Re: Too emotional at ceremony!!</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm thinking of playing Somewhere Over The Rainbow...I hope this works and I don't end up blowing any snot bubbles!! lol
Posted by jenzibaba[/QUOTE]

<div>Now, THAT song would make me cry!  I'm totally worried about this too.   I bawled at my brother's wedding, and a co-worker got married the other day and she invited some of to the ceremony... I barely know the girl and had never met her husband.  Still, I cried!  I'm so afraid I'll be a mess at my own wedding too!</div>

nanderson09

Yeah, I'm not usually a crier, but I'm really worried about the part where my dad gives me away. The symbolism of that is just so heavy, and I have a feeling that it might get me. 

kimmieniesink

If you are prone to crying and you are worried about being an "ugly crier" the key is to just let it happen. You will feel like the "ugly crier" if you try to stop it. The brides who look wonderful even when crying are the ones who just let it happen, don't try to hold it back  - people expect tears at a wedding!

Sarahtobeengaged

 like the pp said.... it's ok to cry happy tears.  I have been to several weddings- where the bride cried the whole time - from walking  down the aisle- to the wedding dance. She even cried while eating! It's a  very special day, cry if you feel it -just have that tissue ready.

RochelleAnn2302

oh, wow... i have the same fear! I cry at some of the stupidest things. I cry when I hear random songs in the car that just hit me the right way. I think i'll be a mess!

brimorey

I am worried about the same thing! I cry at commercils, stories, everything!
I am going to have my fiancee keep a hankerchief in his pocket and when I start to bawl, he can gently hand me the hankerchief. It will help my tears AND show everyone once again what a great guy he is!

LeahDVM2003

I plan on trying to tune into those emotions during the rehersal, and getting all the tears out then.   It's worth a try.....

Poppy715

I know this is terrible but once watching America's Next Top Model Tyra Banks said that if you take a really deep breath it sends a huge shock of oxygen to your system and your tear ducts become less watery. I thought she was crazy but I just tried it at a wedding I was at this past weekend and it totally worked! So just remember to breath and breath deep! And be happy, I was shocked at my good friend who was married, she didn't shed a single tear, she was just happy and excited! I'm hoping I can pull that off too. GL!

DLuchner

thanks so much everyone!!!  I'm so glad I'm not the only one worried about it, I really thought I was!  I will definitely be doing some deep breathing and try not to look too crazy and stock up on the waterproof makeup and pray it works well!

rudisma

My future sister in law recited in her head the marriage scheme from "Princess Bride" when she started to tear up.  Instead, it made her giggle which got her groom giggling which got the maid of honor giggling which got my fiance (the best man) giggling!

ashmark05

Well just thinking about it got me a tad teary!  My advice would be to keep your breathing steady so you don't have one of those moments where you can't catch your breath.  Heaven forbid you pass out! 

ringonthebeachatsunset

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_emotional-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:7334a4fc-0047-485e-bc20-aae88700e519Post:1a7de2fc-b049-425a-8dbc-a5a9002e701d">Re: Too emotional at ceremony!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am worried about the same thing! I cry at commercils, stories, everything! I am going to have my fiancee keep a hankerchief in his pocket and when I start to bawl, he can gently hand me the hankerchief. It will help my tears AND show everyone once again what a great guy he is!
Posted by brimorey[/QUOTE]

Best idea abuot tear management I've heard yet! I'll definitely ask my future husband to stash a hankie in his pocket in case I start crying at the altar. Thanks for the idea!! (and best wishes)

Redraptor1001

Ok, I am getting welled up just reading all the posts. Good lord.  It could be worse, you could do random idiot moves like I do when nerves are high and there are a lot of emotions... like bark out the most gawdy laugh or clap, yes even clap, for no reason... just clap away...  So, like the rest, I would suggest to be natural and let the emotions flow as they will.  You will look stunning through all the tears and if it helps any, just think of a girl in California who will probably be laughing and clapping at the alter like an idiot )  That might give you a break from the tears!

JMandSN10

My best friend was worried too I made her take a shot an hour before the wedding and AFTER she eat.....it calms the nerves....for some.....I STILL CRIED!  LOL

ahinchee

i heard that you can press your tongue into the roof of your mouth & it'll help suppress the tearing up... i've tried it when i've been talking about something that chokes me up & it seems to help alleviate the initial build up!

alaskancoppertop

I found myself doing the exact OPPOSITE!! I was grinning so hard at my wedding ceremony that my cheeks hurt and I was trying not to laugh so hard that peoples sometimes think I am grimacing in my photos!!

jlawheed

Girl... i feel your pain.  This is my top number one worry as well.  To everyone saying "its okay to cry just cry!" I feel like they don't reaaaaally understand.  I'll bet you're like me, where a really emotional moment in a movie gets you going and you don't feel like you're crying hard, but then you look at your face in the mirror of the theater bathroom afterwards and your all red and swollen and there's snot forming above your upper lip that you didn't even know was there.  THAT'S what I'm worried about.  

Here is my suedo-plan:  1) I may not go down the aisle to classic music.  Maybe I will dance down the aisle and that will make it easier.  2)  I told the officiant that if he sees me start to go really bad (more than a happy tear) to break and start telling jokes. 3) I've assigned my maid of honor the job of tickling me if I get too bad.  

i feel like these things will keep the feeling in good spirits and keep the emotional overload to a minimum.  I don't mind feeling emotional and feeling the love- I'll get all that no problem.  It's the overload we sobbers have to worry about.

squintzluvpokey

I was tearing up just reading this comment board... I have a huge problem with crying when it comes to everything wedding related. So I can see myself having the same problem. But they are going to be happy tears so just let them flow and pray your nose doesn't run!

Powlock

Same fears here!  I am such a crier! And my FI always laughs at me and calls me a crier....  My mom read in a magazine about Carrie Underwood's wedding she recited the Pledge of Allegiance over and over to stop the tears maybe I'll try that...

AmyDee

Love the hanky idea! 

Looking up and to the right will help drain tears back and now down your cheeks. That really works! 

Laughing when you start getting over the moon might also help people realize that you're happy, not devastated.  

Deep, steady breathing from your diaphragm (belly goes in and out) will help get you through shuddering sobs. It will also help your face from turning red. A reminder to keep your bouquet low enough so everyone can see how lovely you are, thumb by your belly button and it can help you monitor your breathing! 

Also, before getting dressed stand with one arm over your head and have a maid pound on the side of your rib cage while you breathe out slowly. This relaxes the muscles in between your ribs and allows your lungs to take in an easier breathe. Repeat a few times on each side. Don't try breathing in while she's pounding, though; it'll knock the wind out of you! It's an old theatre trick I learned- helps to do before taking a long run too! 

I don't like waterproof mascara because I find it hard to get off w/o leaving raccoon eyes behind, but I found this stuff from Clinique that isn't waterproof per se, but only comes off if the water is 100 degrees or higher. I love it. 

I bought my mom this adorable tissue pouch that says "Tears of Joy" on it and asked the photographer to make sure he gets a pic of her crying. 

SweetLaura286

Omg, thank you so much for posting this. I'm getting married in a month and a half and it is what I am most concerned about too! I also, teared up while reading this post. ughh

shasta.hun

This is my top #1 worry as well! My BM's are going to have me eat when we are getting our hair/makeup done and then once we get to our ceremony site, the champagne starts. I just hope it calms me enough but doesn't get me tipsy. That would be horrible!