friday weddings???

jcorvese

how do we feel about them?

I just cant seem to shake the amount $$ i can save---but people are already making comments to me about having a friday night wedding--how its inconvenient to them

to be honesty its almost morer convenient for my fiances family. it measns theyll fly in wed (cheaper than thus) nad can fly out sat night (cheaper than sun night or mon)

RoyalOrient

This is just from my personal experience but I honestly will never go to another Friday wedding again. I have a small business and I attend school full time on top of that so when my friend got married on a Friday, it was the biggest inconvenient for me. I barely made it to the ceremony because of work and traffic.  My other friend had to leave work early and pick up her daughter early from school to make it to the ceremony. Two of our other friends who were bridesmaids had to take the whole day off from work. It was very chaotic for all of us. If the wedding wasn't on a Saturday, I much prefer a Sunday wedding especially a Sunday holiday wedding to a Friday wedding. 

Our wedding is on a Sunday holiday in Newport, this is to save money and to accommodate our out of town guests who will have ample travel time to making a mini vacation out of our wedding. It was a cheaper alternative to Saturday but more convenient than Friday. 

If you still want a Saturday wedding check for off season rates like early April or late Fall. 

Mrkyrain

I had a Friday night wedding in Newport and loved it.  It's obviously cheaper than Saturday and much more festive than a Sunday when people have to work the next day.  Most people just made a long weekend out of it.  I think the people that want to be there will no matter when you have it.

Sharpbride

I'm doing a Friday wedding and I have not heard a negative response from anyone. I gave people plenty of notice with the Save the Dates so if they needed to leave work early, they could have made arrangements. I figure, if they want to be there, they will be there--no matter what day it is. I mean, people travel across the country to attend people's weddings.

JessiTess

I considered a Friday night wedding, but ended up with the Saturday. 

You know your guests and your bridal party, so I think only you can make the call.  A friend of mine is the BM is a Friday wedding, and it was very hard for her because she had to take extra time out of work because the pre-wedding festivities are during the week.  People who have a long drive may have trouble due to their work schedules.  Then again, most of my WP doesn't have a typical 9 - 5, so it's not a huge deal for them to take off a Friday, and work a Sunday instead.

Think about you and your guests, only you can know what works best for you and your family.  Good luck!

mrssunshine2be

I just booked a Friday wedding as well, and his parents were giving us grief about it. They think that no one will come because they don't want to take time off of work. I feel like I know more people who don't work a normal nine to five (and would have had to take a Saturday off for a wedding too) than people that work normal jobs. I also completely agree that if they really want to be there, they'll take the time off. It really depends on your guests. A lot of my guests are coming from out of town and will have to take vacation time anyway, and many of my local guests are older and retired or younger with retail jobs that make it easy to switch shifts. 

I really don't understand why people get so hassled by being invited to a wedding. If it causes you that much trouble, don't go. If the people mean a lot to you, you'd do anything for them. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to come to my wedding, I want everyone to want to be there. 

amylydia23

I am having a Friday night wedding in Newport and have had no negative feedback from family or friends.  My family also spends a lot of time in Newport and C's family is from MI so they are making it like a giant family vacation and taking the entire week off so it hasn't really posed a problem.  Like PP said, you know your guests and bridal party so ultimately it is your call. 

Jdolce

I'm going to be honest here, and I don't want to offend anyone. I think, as many have said, that this depends greatly on your guests and their jobs, but from one guest's (who has a relatively regular schedule) point of view...

Very good friends of ours had their wedding recently on a Friday at 5pm. While we went and were very happy to share in their wedding day, it was inconvenient for both of us to take time off of work. I have a fairly flexible schedule, but my fiance does not, so it was tough for him to get the time off. Since the wedding started at 5pm, there was no way that those who have regular 9-5 schedules (many of the wedding party and guests) could get there without taking a day off of work. Plus, most guests had at least 1-2 hours of travel to get to the site.

Ultimately, while most guests really wanted to be there and found a way to make it work, many guests felt like their schedules and responsibilities were not considered by the couple. More than several other guests made comments to each other about it prior to the ceremony and during the cocktail hour. When combined with the fact that this wedding was thrown by a bride who made the whole day all about her and no one else, it left a bad taste in people's mouths.

I just feel that if you know that many of your guests will have to travel and many work regular schedules, then it can be inconvenient and may not be taken well no matter how much notice you give them. My main concern for my own wedding (beyond having a great ceremony) is that everyone else has a great time without being inconvenienced.

If you have a group for whom schedule is not as much of a concern, then go for the Friday by all means.

jcorvese

well my fiance is from out west
so every member of his family had to take time off and fly in

the reception isnt starting until 7
I feel this gives people ample time (who are from RI) to get out at 5, get home change and get to the reception in newport. even if they have to leabe at 430 so be it.

i do think however, because i was In a friday wedding (and i had to take 2 vaca days from work....which was ok because i had 18 months warning)-- about my wedding party.
they will need thursday at lest a half day and friday out of work. for rehearsel and wedding---

so its a tough call
today we did the math well sae about 8500 having it on a friday vs a saturdya... hmmmm
thats a lot of money- for a house, where i can have all the parties i want and invite whoever wants to come on  a satruday....

its def. a tocuh decision and it makes it more difficult that this board is 50/50 on it!

Jdolce

I do think that a later starting time, like 7pm, would be great for your guests.

In the wedding I mentioned above, my fiance was an usher (not a groomsman), and the rehearsal started at 6pm. Unfortunately, we were unable to go because my fiance could not get out of wokr in time to make it there.

jcorvese

ha! not going to the rehearsel makes me laugh.

the wedding on a friday I mentioned above was for my best friend
a girl we arent really friends with anymonre, with whom wece grown apart made a big huge deal about not being in the wedding, calling the bride crying all the time etc

so finally, she assigned her  a reading in the church to accomodate her...

then she didnt come to the rehearsel because she didint have "time" (not that this correlates to your fiance not going, it just reminded me of it)

when it was time for teh wedding (its not like she ws an attendeant or something or usher where its like "heres ur job"....) she never got up to read. the church was silent, and the priest got down went over to her pew half way up the aisle and got her.

we tried to keep from giggling in the front row...

massetobe

im having a friday night wedding in newport. i get a lot of points that have been made on here and i think it really comes down to your preference.

just remember its YOUR wedding. if you send out save the dates with enough notice then there shouldn't be any problems. for most weddings you have people that fly, drive for hours, etc so no matter what its never simple unless you get married in your home town and all guests are from the area. 

we picked newport bc we wanted something on the water in the summer and 100% of our guests are out of town. we completely understand if people can't make it but thus far we havent had anyone decline because of it being on a friday. if anything ive received a comments on how people are excited that they can wake up in newport on a saturday and have the weekend to do what they want (i never thought of it that way). if people want to be there, they will be there. if they complain about it then that's just rude in my opinion. people will always have something to say so just do what makes you and your fiance happy!  

good luck! i say go for it.

jcorvese

thanks masstobe! you make a good  point
its my wedding
and my budget

can i ask wehere you are getting married in newport?
are you haing a brunch or anything the next day?

RoyalOrient

I feel exactly the same way. We were all happy to be there for my friend's wedding but between the rehearasal dinner and the day of the wedding, we all went nuts. I think having the reception site and church a good 45 mins away made it even tougher for all the guests to arrive on time. We were late because of traffic. Most of the guests missed cocktails!

However, I think if you have a relatively small to medium size wedding and most of your guests do not have small children, work a regular 9-5 or are not students, business owners or live very far, it should not be a big issue. They have advance notice to take time off. Unfortunately for me and most of my friends, Fridays was just way too busy a school or business day especially with the added responsibility of kids. I am having 200 guests at my wedding and half are not local. FI's family is from California and most of my family is from Maine. They are making the most of the holiday weekend by having a mini vacation. Thursday and Friday nights are the travel dates.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_rhode-island_friday-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:122Discussion:c9edaa43-1593-4b17-be32-6df3576a849bPost:1b8b6ca3-f261-4bbf-92cb-119f73f43690">Re: friday weddings???</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to be honest here, and I don't want to offend anyone. I think, as many have said, that this depends greatly on your guests and their jobs, but from one guest's (who has a relatively regular schedule) point of view... Very good friends of ours had their wedding recently on a Friday at 5pm. While we went and were very happy to share in their wedding day, it was inconvenient for both of us to take time off of work. I have a fairly flexible schedule, but my fiance does not, so it was tough for him to get the time off. Since the wedding started at 5pm, there was no way that those who have regular 9-5 schedules (many of the wedding party and guests) could get there without taking a day off of work. Plus, most guests had at least 1-2 hours of travel to get to the site. Ultimately, while most guests really wanted to be there and found a way to make it work, many guests felt like their schedules and responsibilities were not considered by the couple. More than several other guests made comments to each other about it prior to the ceremony and during the cocktail hour. When combined with the fact that this wedding was thrown by a bride who made the whole day all about her and no one else, it left a bad taste in people's mouths. I just feel that if you know that many of your guests will have to travel and many work regular schedules, then it can be inconvenient and may not be taken well no matter how much notice you give them. My main concern for my own wedding (beyond having a great ceremony) is that everyone else has a great time without being inconvenienced. If you have a group for whom schedule is not as much of a concern, then go for the Friday by all means.
Posted by Jdolce[/QUOTE]

jennabob

I am also having a Friday night wedding...ceremony is at 5pm.....I realize that this may be inconvenient for some who need to adjust work schedules etc, however I made it very clear to everyone that we would be very understanding if some people came late etc.  I have been to a couple of friday night weddings in the past and love the fact of still having a whole weekend to enjoy afterward.  Again, it all comes down to preference--It just makes sense for us. 
PS- who doesn't love an excuse to take a Friday off from work?

jcorvese

thanks guys.
im going to put feelers out to my fiances parents and see when most people are flying out

luckily my top site (the viking hotel) has teh church next to the reception so youre in one place

plus if we do go with that venue- we are thinking of renting an entire inn across the street---so its all really close

i hear you on the friday wedding with the huge commute
at that earlier wedding i mentioend, we took a trolley an hour to newport for the reception...but the wedding ws over at 430 asnd so we hit tons of traffi (hello 5 oclock on a friday)

we missed the entire cocktail reception, and the sun was setting by the time we finished pics (a waster of the castle hill ocean front location, in my opinion)

im going to keep in mind the church/reception location when considering a friday wedding... if we end up with longer than a 15 min commute- I might consider a saturday instead/

luckily. my parents are a bit older (i was a late in life kid) so most of my aunts uncles etc are all retired...

[Deleted User]

I have gone to a Friday night wedding in the past and no one complained and everyone had a good time.

You have to think about this is your day, and you have to do what is right for you.

You can't possibly make everyone happy and that is where most people get caught up in the stres between planning what day to where people are going to sit, so and so doesn't like this person...they have to sit here.

You also have to make peace with your decision.

Best of luck with your day!

angiem33

I know I'm a little late jumping in here, but I've been to Friday weddings and never had a problem.  We have almost entirely OOT guest list and they would have to travel and take off of work no matter what day we did a wedding.  We personally opted for a Sunday because both the venue and the photographer I wanted were available.  If your going to save that much money doing a Friday night, do it!!

It could be worse, I've heard of an awful lot of Thursday weddings recently.

i2012do

Thursday?!
Ya, im not that risky! Thats hard-- but I bet its cheap

hollygb22

those who want to be there, will make it there whether it requires them to take time off etc.

We had a sunday wedding. We did it because if we went for a Sat wedding, we'd have a crazy 2 yr engagement which would drive me batty. I didn't want a long engagement and we were married 11 months after we were engaged.

I was amazed at how ridiculous people were about it. Some making comments about they had to work the next day--fine, then don't come was the attitiude I adapted. People also gave lip about the time between the ceremony at a church at a different location and the reception time start. I didn't expect that many people to come to the ceremony, so I didn't care about the time in between. If people had issue with it and didn't want to kill 2 hours, I understood if they didn't come to the church.

I've flown to different states for wedding, taken time off from work, etc--why, because I wanted to be there.

It's your day, do what suits you two. Don't listen to other people because the people that matter to you will find a way to be there for you.

Jdolce

I think taking the temperature, so to speak, of those closest to you is a good idea.

For us, my family and my FH's family outright said a Friday wedding was not going to work for them. I was willing to have our wedding in a "not prime" location in order to have it on a Saturday.

I think it all depends on the balance between having your wedding at your dream location, what your budget will allow, and the convenience for your guests.