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April 2012 Weddings

Tacky?

We've all seen the shows where bridesmaids would flake on the bride or there would be a miscommunication that sometimes ended lifelong friendships. I was thinking I would write up "contracts" for my bridesmaids and maids of honor just so they can know what I expect from them( expenses days i will need them etc.) and what they can expect from me(what im willing to pay for etc.).  I'm a mom my son will be going through his terrible twos during much of the planning im a full time nursing student and work full time. I don't need extra drama and stress.
Would you be offended as a bridesmaid if you were given a "contract" or do you think its a good idea?

Re: Tacky?

  • Thanks I dont want them to feel like im being bitchy I was just thinking like a calendar kind of like the one we have here so they can know which days I will need them (trying to keep group activities to just saturdays) so I wont have to deal with the "I had to work" excuse. I'm really trying to keep everything they need under $500. Im spending a lot of money on them (I have 17 people in my bridal party) paying for hair nails makeup and toes for all as well as gifts for them. I just don't want to feel like I wasted my time and money on people who dont care about my big day
  • What expectations do you have for your bridesmaids?  Aside from being on time to the wedding with the matching dress, they have no obligations to you.  It is unfair to ask them to set dates aside this early in advance or to expect everyone to be there when other events could take precedence over your wedding. 

    I also understand you are spending a lot of money on them but you are doing it because you want them in your wedding and that's your choice.  Make sure you tell them how much they are going to be spending in your wedding and take into consideration their own budgets.  Just remember that whatever they do they do it because they are your friends and want to see you happy, not because they have to. 

    ~~* Jen *~~
  • I thought bridesmaids were supposed to do more than just show up in matching dresses, my bridesmaids arent even wearing matching dresses but I'm not asking for their lives just a few saturdays out the year leading to the wedding to help with favors some DIY's. Im not asking them to plan my wedding nor spend a fortune 60% of the BM's are mothers and college students.I know they have things to do outside my wedding. I have things to do besides planning this wedding.

    Thanks for your response Smile

  • If they are friends/family I don't think a contract is necessary...just a heart to heart where you let them know how much it would mean to you for them to be there for you, reassure them that you're trying to keep their expenses down and maybe suggest a range you're looking at for the dresses and etc., and what the schedule will be so they know to clear their calendars.
    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • Thanks for the response I have 2 MOH's 13 BM's and 2 FG's  maybe I shouldn't call it a contract more like a STD I dont expect them all to be there for everything I just think that if I tell them what I expect from them (which isnt much) upfront If it's something they feel they cant do we can try to fix it or they can choose if they want to be in the wedding or not.

  • You have a HUGE wedding party. I can understand why you might be nervous. Maybe calling it a contract is throwing everyone off. I say just discuss with them what your expectations are, or what you need from them. A contract may offend some people.
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