Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Big wedding vs. Small ceremony with progressional receptions

I have a large family (partly due to divorced and remarried parents) while my FI has a very small family.  Put that together with the fact that I have extreme stage fright and hence my idea for a small ceremony (30 ppl max) and for each side of my divorced family (who hasn't spoken in over 15 years, nicely) to have their own reception.  However, I am starting to get some grief from my bridesmaid, and my Momzilla that this may not be a good option.  They are pushing for me to have one large wedding and tell everyone to put up or shut up.  The big problem is that I just don't trust these "adults" to behave like adults!  I am completely torn and my pro and con list of each hasn't really helped!! Any ideas or suggestions?
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