please help...etiquette question.....about children at wedding

nickyslove

me and my fiance want to know if there is any "nice" or proper way to put on an invite that we dont want any babies/children/any body under 21 at the reception? i know that their names wont be on invites but is there anything else anyone does? thanks

miguelhilary2010

There really isn't a nice way to put it on the invite.  I do have a few suggestions:

1. Create a website and share that link with family and friends either by email, word of mouth or STD.  Write clearly on the website that it is an adult only reception and regretfully children are not invited.  You dont have to use etiquitte on your personal website

2. Tell them!  If you have family/friends in particular that you feel will bring kids, just bring it up in discussion as if you're giving them a heads-up to get a sitter for the kids that night.

3.  If people RSVP for more than expected, just call them and explain that the kids aren't invited and that you're keeping it adult-only.

HTH!

lmparlett

I was told that if the kids' names are not on the invite, they are not invited.  So for those who have older kids who are invited, we are putting their names on the inner envelope.

My cousin put on her reception card "adult reception to follow" and then the time, place, etc.  If you think people will bring kids even without having their names on the invite, you could try that.

mumidi

I know this is a no no but on our reception card we had "Adults only please" at the bottom, I'm glad we did because we still had people ask if they could bring their children.

Also, it was very nice to have an adults only reception. 

nickyslove

thanks guys!!!!

jajph1974

It's considered improper etiquette to have anything on the invitation regarding who's NOT invited.

Address the invites to the adults, and if they RSVP with their children you'll have to call them and explain to them that the invite was only for them.

Also, word of mouth works.

Ellie*xo

i'm writing "adult reception to follow" on my invites.  i was already put in the awkward situation to tell a friend that her kids weren't invited.  it's just awkward and i felt bad.  if you have a lot of guests with kids.. that's a lot of phone calls you're going to have to make to specify that kids aren't invited.  might as well nip it in the bud and include it in the invites.

jajph1974

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_south-new-jersey_please-helpetiquette-questionabout-children-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:128Discussion:4d3350a8-8000-4d0b-86d7-857e51602766Post:24246a7e-ec81-4133-af8f-763107f6202d">Re: please help...etiquette question.....about children at wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm writing "adult reception to follow" on my invites.  i was already put in the awkward situation to tell a friend that her kids weren't invited.  it's just awkward and i felt bad.  if you have a lot of guests with kids.. that's a lot of phone calls you're going to have to make to specify that kids aren't invited.  might as well nip it in the bud and include it in the invites.
Posted by Ellie*xo[/QUOTE]

OP's question was regarding etiquette, and putting that on the invite is not considered proper etiquette.

If you're choosing to have a kid-free reception, then you'll just have to suck it up and make the phone calls, assuming you want to follow etiquette.

peaches85

On our RSVP cards we're listing the names of the people invited followed by boxes where they can check off whether they're coming or not.  That way, it's VERY clear who's invited and who's not and they can't add anyone on their own. 

preciousa721

We will also be putting on the invite "adult only reception following".

lineallowsfor

Just wanted to tell you I totally support you having a child-free reception.  We just had some guests tell us they are not coming because they can't being their one year old to the reception.  They were EXTREMELY rude about it after we talked to them on the phone about our no children policy.  It really hurt, but I think we're over them now.