Yes

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:dddd16ba-19d8-4e5a-8c15-09e1f5ee6555">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : That's funny, because a few days ago you said that your parents don't support you getting married.  So either you're a horrible liar who can't keep her lies straight, or your parents are just as wishy-washy as you.   I just do not at all understand why you come around here.  
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
They didn't support it when we wanted to get married 2 months after we met. 

ggirl2001

And yet, you still didn't answer my question. What's your plan if you and your FI divorce, or god forbid something happens to him? I get why you're not going back to school, I don't need the reasons, but what's your back up plan? Because here's the catch  that I think you're missing. I am going to guess that most of the ladies on this board can live without their H or FI. They don't NEED their spouses for anything except love and support. If my H were to decide to leave me tomorrow, I could pay all my bills, keep my apartment, and still have money to go visit family and friends and spending money. Could you?

CAB1217

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:592312a6-9809-4787-bf91-058f9827da7e">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : I have 3k in school debt I have to pay off before I can go back. I'm not like everyone else. <strong>I'm not running out and getting a loan</strong>. Or using mommy and daddy's money to pay for school. As soon as it is paid off I will be going back to school
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

There is nothing wrong with getting a school loan, Kendall. Most people do that these days to pay for school.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:dca6e0fe-4e2d-4d94-a23e-cc4553ce15c5">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : They didn't support it when we wanted to get married 2 months after we met. 
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

So less than a year later, when you're 19 years old, they're all for it?

I have a feeling your parents would make my head hurt, too.

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:34f88bcf-fcc8-41b3-aad1-9cfadf4eaa49">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : There is nothing wrong with getting a school loan, Kendall. Most people do that these days to pay for school.
Posted by CAB1217[/QUOTE]
ditto. I am totally in debt because of my Master's degree, but hey my Master's degree also helped land me a great job in this economy. A job where I can have my own benefits if I wanted/needed them, and a pension. Oh, and I can afford to pay my monthly loan bill, without needing H for help.


Pretty sure Ponzi schemes don't offer all that.

crownsuperstar

Nothing wrong with student loans.  I work at a university and almost every student is either on scholarship or have loans.  College is expensive and I see that a loan is something you take out to invest in your future.  A year from now it will be more expensive.  The cost of college will not go down any time soon!  

Is nice to have a parnter you can share your life with? Yes but you should be able to support yourself if something were to happen. 

Please spare me the "rose colored" glasses speech that everything will be happy and all that jazz.  See I know that life throws you curve balls.  If my mother had not had her education that we would have been SOL when my father passed away when I was very young.  I am sure my mother didn't see that one coming. 

LOANS = Education
EDUCATION = job
JOB = self supporting

calindi

As crownsuperstar pointed out, college is only getting more expensive.  So what's the real difference between $X now and $X+2 in two years?  The fact that your income potential is basically halved in that time.  So rather than getting the loans, making more money and thus being able to pay them off, you'd rather try to save up on a fraction of the income until you can afford to pay it?  It won't happen.  Life gets in the way - you want that bigger truck for $50 more per month, you buy a house, etc.

And let me tell you, my friends who didn't finish college ALL say that it is their biggest regret.  It only gets harder the longer you wait.  I have a friend who finished 2 years and left, saying it was only a year's break before she went back.  She's 28 years old now and struggling to afford to quit her job so she can go back to finish her degree so she can finally make more than paycheck-to-paycheck.  If she'd had her degree all these years, she'd have been making significantly more.

AmandaSC1988

No use arguing with her...it is like arguing with a wall..

She doesn't belive in logic.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:e57bafd2-9531-4759-908b-daf4ac837c1f">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]No use arguing with her...it is like arguing with a wall.. She doesn't belive in logic.
Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]

Hey, she's not pregnant yet, so maybe a little teensy bit of the logic we throw at her actually sinks in?

Or maybe it's just dumb luck.

firsttimersluck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:592312a6-9809-4787-bf91-058f9827da7e">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : I have 3k in school debt I have to pay off before I can go back. I'm not like everyone else. I'm not running out and getting a loan. Or using mommy and daddy's money to pay for school. As soon as it is paid off I will be going back to school
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

Everyone else?
I have worked 60+ hours a week since before I started college to pay for my education. By myself. In cash.
You need to watch what you say, because you're losing people that at least tolerated you.

LetsHikeToday

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:592312a6-9809-4787-bf91-058f9827da7e">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : I have 3k in school debt I have to pay off before I can go back. I'm not like everyone else. I'm not running out and getting a loan. Or using mommy and daddy's money to pay for school. As soon as it is paid off I will be going back to school
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

I used mommy and daddys money to get a degree. My mommy and daddy were so generous and I am so appreciative. You know what though? I took that degree, moved 4 hours away from anyone I knew and built a life. I am an independent woman and I know I can live on my own, with out my H because I did it here for 7 years.

You don't like people to generalize your life so please don't generalize people who got their education from "mommy and daddy".

I agree with first in her post before mine.

firsttimersluck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:f12a65eb-4666-4f8d-8d89-0551fbd5c0f7">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : I used mommy and daddys money to get a degree. My mommy and daddy were so generous and I am so appreciative. You know what though? I took that degree, moved 4 hours away from anyone I knew and built a life. I am an independent woman and I know I can live on my own, with out my H because I did it here for 7 years. You don't like people to generalize your life so please don't generalize people who got their education from "mommy and daddy". I agree with first in her post before mine.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

oh em geee Hikey who you think you iz graciously accepting the help that was so generously offered to you to better your quality of life, become successful, and be a role model for others to better/educate their lives... That is so rude...

LetsHikeToday

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:f97a8403-9899-4ed6-a83e-74b58b59cc33">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : oh em geee Hikey who you think you iz graciously accepting the help that was so generously offered to you to better your quality of life, become successful, and be a role model for others to better/educate their lives... That is so rude...
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

So rude and apparently so snotty or something?!?! That's the tone I got.

ggirl2001

Because Kendall likes to disagree. If you notice through any of her posts, there is absolutely no logic to them, she disagrees to disagree and SO THERE.

That's the vibe I get from her. I almost picture her saying "so there" to prove her non point. 

firsttimersluck

omg ggirl.. I'm going to start saying that at the end of all my posts..
So there. 

ggirl2001

Hahaha. I like it. I also feel like saying "gag me" in a super snotty valley girl voice everytime Kendall posts, but I feel that could be misinterpreted in soooo many ways. 

But really, gag me with a spoon. I can't help it. I love the early 90's.

firsttimersluck

Um... I totally used to use that phrase when I lived in southern California.. so there.
I can gag you tehehehehehhe 

Ok. Inappropriate.. but you started it  :P

prettyirishgirl

Your going to judge "everyone else" on how they pay for their education? Saying that school loans are a bad thing. If you don't go to school and get an education it is possible you cant pay any bills where as if you take out a few loans and pay for school you could make a much more sizable income that would then allow you to pay off your debt. Also what about all of those people wanting to better themselves and a loan is the only way to do that. Also who is to say that mom and dad haven't been saving for their kids whole life to be able to send them to whatever school they wanted to go to and give them an education - please explain to me what is wrong with a parent or a kids using their own well earned money to do whatever they darn well please. I hope I can pay for any of my hypothetical children to go to any school they want all the way through a doctorate if that is what will make they happy - god forbid i do what I want with the money I earn that doesnt make them any less capable then anyone else only lucky and well provided for.  There are also scholarships and other ways besides debt to go to school. Again you don't want to be judged but it seems you are fine making really large generalizations about the world at large.

Personally i found it very hard to start going back to school once I already was working, but regardless the point is you dont have any personal back up. You mentioned what your FI will do, but not what you will do. He will get commissioned, he will get a job in his field etc. But right now what are you going to do. That is what ggirl is saying. If you can't afford to go to school without a loan how will you pay all the bills on your own, work, go to school, pay back your debt of 3000 if FI is gone. You could possibly have a child to care for as well and you aren't giving anyone any reason to suspect you have a plan for yourself past "I'm getting Married!!"

Again hope it works hope your happy, but its a logical mature question to ask yourself. In the worst case scenario will i be ok? me? not we, because "we" changes and not to be doom and gloom, but there's more then what you can control playing into this, into life. People can get hurt, discharged for medical reasons, divorced, killed, not get that bonus you were hoping for, getting fired, not accepted to school, have a kid, pay grade changes, not be accepted for a commission. This is meant to be helpful and shopefully none of these things befall you, but I have seen every one of these things and so much more happen in the past 3 years. Things that went terribly wrong that no one could have predicted or helped and now families are hurt, wives alone, dealing with things they never dreamed would be an issue and that shouldn't have to be handled or thought of. And to willingly ignore such a real possibility is irresponsible and immature when people are only responding because they want to help which is what you seem to be wanting if your posting on a message board. If you had it all figured out and didn't want an opinion or some insight why share. and why respond by degrading "everyone else's" choices.

LuluP82

I'm late on all posts lately since I'm not around that much. But thank you, Kendall for pointing out that I did it wrong. I mean, my parents paid for the portion of my very expensive undergrad that wasn't covered by merit scholarships, and I took out loans to pay for the portion of my very expensive law school that wasn't covered by a merit scholarship. I mean, it doesn't matter that I make more money than H does now (well about the same take home with BAH since they don't tax that) and that we can live wayyy more comfortably because we have 2 incomes. Or that I can support myself on my own. I clearly did it wrong.

I'm also confused as to how owing a school money isn't taking out a loan. I mean...you didn't pay on time. You borrowed their money, just not legally.

calindi

Ignoring the stupidness, Lulu, your baby is the size of a papaya now?!  Do you have a bump?  I want bump pictures!

LuluP82

I know, it's crazy how fast it's gone by!

I kind of have a bump-- I just started showing. H is making me take pictures this weekend, so I'll email you some if we actually do!

calindi

Yay!!!! Please do!

Are you on Pinterest?  I have a "baby fever" board, and one idea is a picture every week once you start showing in the same shirt (stretchy, obviously!) so you can see how the bump has grown!

LuluP82

I'm not (I have no idea what that is) but the shirt idea is awesome! I'll definitely steal that

Irishcurls

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:4c2dd8fe-bd5a-4a7a-95c1-0fd546d28460">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : ditto. I am totally in debt because of my Master's degree, but hey my Master's degree also helped land me a great job in this economy. A job where I can have my own benefits if I wanted/needed them, and a pension. Oh, and I can afford to pay my monthly loan bill, without needing H for help. Pretty sure Ponzi schemes don't offer all that.
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]
Ok, my apologies ladies--I'm catching up on a lot here. But thank you for saying exactly what I would have said, had I been here. I mean, for-freaking-real??! You'd rather get married than have student loan debt??? I love my H and we're newlyweds and all that stuff but puh-lease. That doesn't even make sense. They're not mutually exclusive. Take the freaking debt. <div>
</div><div>Ok, back to reading. </div>

KendallR10

Fi and I talked about it and we will be going back to school in january and taking out a student loan. Now that I know my options. 

And to the person who said I did it but illegally, I have a payment plan. I didn't do it illegally.

firsttimersluck

I find it ironic that you just insulted the entire board about how you didn't use mommy or daddy or take out a wasteful loan..
And now you're planning to.
Way to go champ.

OMG Irish I you so much for using "mututally exclusive".. So math nerdy )

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:1df871fe-3064-48f6-b22d-2640294791ac">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]I find it ironic that you just insulted the entire board about how you didn't use mommy or daddy or take out a wasteful loan.. And now you're planning to. Way to go champ. OMG Irish I <3 you so much for using "mututally exclusive".. So math nerdy :o)
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]
Do you know why I wasn't going to take out a loan? Because I didn't know my options. I had no idea that I could pay it off when I graduated. 

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:948c851a-81e2-4acd-87df-9b295e183e02">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Yes : Do you know why I wasn't going to take out a loan? Because I didn't know my options. I had no idea that I could pay it off when I graduated. 
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]
Ok, then if you don't know what the f you are talking about then why would you flipping insult people? Next time keep your mouth shut and actually research before you say something. 

firsttimersluck

Exactly. You don't KNOW, Kendall.
That's the point.
You speak before you think.
You speak before you research and become knowledgeable about a subject.
Therefore you insult people because you used no tact with ignorant comments.

I have tried really hard to not say anything and stay out of it when you get flamed by everyone else for something.
You're young, you're a suck up, you try to say things that you think will come off as you looking mature which is rarely successful, you argue with everyone about your opinion or insulting remark, and then change it to match everyone else's views.
You claim(ed) you talk to your Fi's CoC aaaaalll the time with I either A) doubt. You're probably just trying to come off like a "cool kid" or  You're probably annoying that crap out of someone with your multiple e-mails a day.
You have BITCHED OUT new posters on here (which has probably scared a few away. Thanks) with your "opinions" (ie what you think posters on this board would say) on their weddings/VR/JOP and yet you continually flip-flop between what YOU'RE doing between all three of those!
You harassed a girl about wanting a Navy/nautical wedding because her Fi is trying to or is getting into the military, but you talk aaaall the time about how your Fi WILL commission (ie you seem to know full well how tight it is to move up in the military right now or get into the military, and yet you think you are some special case)
And I'm pretty sure the only reason you bring up wanting to join the military is to suck up to Stan.

Grow.
Up.
Learn what the work "tact" means, and strive to achieve that.
I'm 22, and you make me feel like I'm 50.
You're comments actually make me NOT want to be a part of this board.

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_yes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:10514b14-311b-4dff-a3a7-6e252f2e2dc2Post:3f6e42cc-a901-4df9-89eb-a4acb025c96d">Re: Yes</a>:
[QUOTE]Exactly. You don't KNOW, Kendall. That's the point. You speak before you think. You speak before you research and become knowledgeable about a subject. Therefore you insult people because you used no tact with ignorant comments. I have tried really hard to not say anything and stay out of it when you get flamed by everyone else for something. You're young, you're a suck up, you try to say things that you think will come off as you looking mature which is rarely successful, you argue with everyone about your opinion or insulting remark, and then change it to match everyone else's views. You claim(ed) you talk to your Fi's CoC aaaaalll the time with I either A) doubt. You're probably just trying to come off like a "cool kid" or B) You're probably annoying that crap out of someone with your multiple e-mails a day. You have BITCHED OUT new posters on here (which has probably scared a few away. Thanks) with your "opinions" (ie what you think posters on this board would say) on their weddings/VR/JOP and yet you continually flip-flop between what YOU'RE doing between all three of those! You harassed a girl about wanting a Navy/nautical wedding because her Fi is trying to or is getting into the military, but you talk aaaall the time about how your Fi WILL commission (ie you seem to know full well how tight it is to move up in the military right now or get into the military, and yet you think you are some special case) And I'm pretty sure the only reason you bring up wanting to join the military is to suck up to Stan. Grow. Up. Learn what the work "tact" means, and strive to achieve that. I'm 22, and you make me feel like I'm 50. <strong>You're comments actually make me NOT want to be a part of this board.</strong>
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

<div>Except you love most of us too much :) </div><div>
</div><div>and ditto what FTL said Kendall.  Maybe you need to actually lurk around on this board to actually understand how adults communicate with each other. </div>