I finally snapped...

Zeldakins

Well, I'm human after all.

After this whole time of trying to be strong I actually broke down today. I couldn't help it and I even though I kept telling myself that I wouldn't cry because I missed him...well I just couldn't stop the tears. I do feel much better now however and I think I might just write a letter. But enough of all this sadness....

How's everyone else doing?  Did you enjoy your Friday?

almost-a-bride

Your picture makes me sad for you

kyrgyzstan

Everybody has those moments, you've just got to let them come, let yourself cry it out, and then move on!

Hugs!

SamiJoeB

I think Veteran's Day is kind of hard on any of us with a SO who'd deployed, or even stationed far away. It's a day to honor the military past, present and future, and it just shoves it right back in your face that your SM is gone. All day long, people wanted to talk about my time in the military, H and his time/life/career/job in the military.  Also, people decided to criticize me for getting married knowing that my H had more than a year left in Japan (Although the plan originally was for me to go and be with him, but then there was this huge earthquake, and I didn't want to be the reason he had to stay over there longer.. I mean, yes, We could have waited, but we chose not to, get over it people!!).  It was just kind of a tough day.  Plus my parents put a picture of me and H in the paper for Veteran's day and I mean I appreciated it, but I just don't really feel like a Vet.  I always think of Veterans as the older men with the VFW hats on from WWII and Vietnam, and it didn't help that we were the only people who hadn't already passed away (Does that sound odd..? Does anyone KWIM?).  Whenever people thank my H for his service, I get offended because I'm like "Hey! I served too!!", and then when they thank me I feel awkward and embarrassed because idk.. I don't feel worthy of the praise.  I mean when so many people have given their lives, I just gave 4 years of my time.  Yes it's more than some people can give or do give, but still... Idk.. I'm rambling. I need to stop. 

OP- There are good days, and bad days.  Let yourself cry it out when you need to, but don't let yourself wallow in it.  Besides, you always have us!! We're here for you!!

ETA: I feel like I should tell you that when I read the title of your post I immediately looked at my cat, snapped my fingers and said "Oh Snap", I'm not sure why, but It seemed like the right thing to do.

BinxRose

I'm sorry Zelda. Like Stan and Sami said, sometimes you just have those days and you need to let it out. Cry for a bit, then call your mom, BFF, whoever, or go out with your friends (that day, or the next). {{HUGS}} Sami- yesterday we were in line (outside) at Applebees for the free military meal, and these two guys from ITT were outside handing out forms to fill out. I was prepared to politely say "No thank you, I already have my bachelors." But the one guy was only handing them to the men!! He gave one to my FI, didn't even look at me. I mean, *I* know that I didn't serve, but he just assumed I didn't and it really irritated me. I wanted to be like "Women serve too you a$$ hat!"

shayNnik

Oh man Sami & Binx I know what you mean! We went to Friday's last night to get my free meal. When the waitress first came over she asked if we were military, and looked at FI. She wouldn't even look my way so I just leaned toward her and (a bit louder than my normal tone) said YES!!! FI has facial hair. It's a dead giveaway that he's not military. I hate when people assume that it's always the guys.

Zelda- I am very sorry you had such a rough day. Crying usually makes you feel better though once you get it all out. I think it should be a regularly scheduled event, like any other. Put it in planners for the 2nd friday of every month-"Cry for FI/DH"

Oh and Sami-XH and I got married 5 weeks before he left for Korea for a year and we heard it from everyone. They'll get over it eventually.

SamiJoeB

Everyone yesterday was like "You need to get married again" I was like.. "Um No. I'm already married and I cannot get married again unless I get divorced first, however I will probably renew my vows in a few years regardless".  I totally get frustrated with people always assuming that I'm just a bonbon eating mil-spouse.  I totally called some jerk out on it not too long ago.  Oddly enough, he was a Marine recruiter. 

Zeldakins

Thank you so much everyone! Honestly it does help having people that have gone/are going through the same things to talk to.

Sami-I think it was because of Veterans day...I kept hearing about it and people kept asking me about how he was doing and by the end of the day I was just one big mess of emotions. I've been fine since he left for basic waaayyy earlier in the year and now he's going through more training(...AIT, I think?) but I never had so many people ask me about him before.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_finally-snapped?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:34637e63-f60b-4d4a-a058-ece6f25f2eb8Post:7800ebe4-719f-4400-8b41-f4bfd5ed73d3">Re: I finally snapped...</a>:
[QUOTE] ETA: I feel like I should tell you that when I read the title of your post I immediately looked at my cat, snapped my fingers and said "Oh Snap", I'm not sure why, but It seemed like the right thing to do.
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]
This made me laugh. :)

Binx- I think I may be meeting up with a friend of mine in downtown Austin for lunch and sightseeing later. :) That should definitely make me feel better. Maybe I'll even find something new to read there...or some new art supplies, or quilt patterns. Haha, that should keep me busy for sure! :)

BinxRose

Ohh quilt patterns! I haven't made a quilt, but I made a quilted bag in the spring and it turned out so awesome. I put a sewing machine on our registry because I love sewing so much! What kind of art do you do? I took a few drawing and painting classes in high school, and found I actually had a real talent! It would be nice to get back into it.

Zeldakins

Right now I'm just into rough sketches and pencil/graphite drawings and as for quilting and sewing I've made some cute pillows and some hats. I also like to crochet....so far I've gotten a few hats and scarves done. I really want to take an art class in the next year I have here. My friend who's a photography major said it would be a great experience and I could just develop the skills that I already have.

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_finally-snapped?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:34637e63-f60b-4d4a-a058-ece6f25f2eb8Post:50b1da2d-f2db-417a-90c0-ef05f0f4d82a">Re: I finally snapped...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ohh quilt patterns! I haven't made a quilt, but I made a quilted bag in the spring and it turned out so awesome. I put a sewing machine on our registry because I love sewing so much! What kind of art do you do? I took a few drawing and painting classes in high school, and found I actually had a real talent! It would be nice to get back into it.
Posted by BinxRose[/QUOTE]

Binxy-  First of all, I'm totally jealous of your cake decorating skills. I can bake up, but I'm not good at the decorating part.  I'm gonna take a class I think.  Also, maybe you can help me with this sewing machine problem I have!! haha.. I've been trying to make an apron, and I have all the pieces and stuff, and I borrowed a machine, but for the life of me, every time I try to thread the machine it gets all knotted up.  I'm sure I'm not doing something right.. but I can't figure out what.  I've read the instructions, but I wish they had a diagram for dummies like me.

BinxRose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_finally-snapped?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:34637e63-f60b-4d4a-a058-ece6f25f2eb8Post:ec8ab03f-6ffa-40c4-8d1f-e7f61cd2d6fb">Re: I finally snapped...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I finally snapped... : Binxy-  First of all, I'm totally jealous of your cake decorating skills. I can bake up, but I'm not good at the decorating part.  I'm gonna take a class I think.  Also, maybe you can help me with this sewing machine problem I have!! haha.. I've been trying to make an apron, and I have all the pieces and stuff, and I borrowed a machine, but for the life of me, every time I try to thread the machine it gets all knotted up.  I'm sure I'm not doing something right.. but I can't figure out what.  I've read the instructions, but I wish they had a diagram for dummies like me.
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

Aww thanks! I made that vegas birthday cake in my siggy back in March for my FI's best friend here. Not sure how much detail you can see, but my favorite part was the fondant playing cards. I drew on white fondant with edible markers (small markers filled w/ food dye). That was actually only my second time working with fondant! I'm going to make a very small fondant cake for our wedding and I'm pumped! As for your sewing machine, it's hard for me to say w/o seeing it. But my guess would be the bobbin. It's always the darn bobbin haha!

SamiJoeB

bahaha! I think you may be right!! Really, I love that cake! What do you have planned for your wedding cake?

BinxRose

I'm not sure yet. It will only be one layer, maybe 6" in diameter. Pretty much just for the cake cutting. I was thinking a simple clean surface, probably beige or pale yellow, with some simple yet elegant design in black. And one or two yellow flowers (haven't decided on real or fondant flowers, i've been practicing flowers w/ Play-Doh since it's similar to fondant). Guess I'll have to bust out my sketchbook and pencils soon to sketch ideas!

crownsuperstar

I am a little late to this but I agree.  It is ok to cry.  Confession- I was feeling down a little while ago and so I ordered pizza and drank beer and watch stupid movies that made me cry.  Yeah I was that person.  The next day I told myself to put on my big girl panties, so I did.  I do think that you need to let yourself cry when you have that feeling.  I am the type of person that says let out your emotions because I do believe it is healthy. 

It comes and goes for me.  Some days just suck to the 1 millon degree and others are not so bad. 

Hugs and I am sure that it will get better.