Hi everyone,
I recently posted on the Not Yet Engaged board with my story and they sugested that I wander over here to look for some advice and/or support, if that's all right?
My boyfriend and I have been talking about marriage for the last six months, but it finally came to a more definite point when the job situation here at home wasn't looking up and we talked about the option of him applying to go active duty in the Air Force this coming October. I'm not from a military background at all; my extended family (grandparents, uncles) were but my immediate parents were not. Thus I'm a little bit (read, a lot a bit) nervous about the entire idea -- whether I have the character and patience and fortitude to be the sort of support he'll need at home.
I really want him to do this. I know it's always been a lifelong dream of his to serve simultaneously with his dad (who's retiring in a year or two) and I've supported that from the very beginning. I have qualms about up and moving who knows where and the chances of him being deployed, but at the same time -- this is important, you know? So in my view, it's a small price to pay for something much more important.
That said, if he does get accepted, we're looking at setting a date for summer '12, as he willl hopefully know where he's posted at that point. It's going to be a drastically new experience for me and I'm really nervous...any and all thoughts, advice, or shared stories would be greatly appreciated. ^^;
Thank you!
Re: Introduction
I'm going to say that I like you already for a few reasons,1st that you say "lot a bit" (I say that ALL the time), 2nd, I LOOOVVEEE that you're questioning weather or not you'll be a good military wife. I think that so many girls are so young and think that just because JoeShmo thier High School Sweetheart joined the military that they are strong enough to be a military spouse. NOT to say that all high school relationships end up not working (though more often then not, they don't). I really appreciate the fact that you are taking a step back before jumping into this kind of a relationship. I haven't seen my husband since 2 weeks after our wedding, and in all likely hood, I won't until well after our 1st anniversary. You have to be okay on your own, you have to be able to get yourself out of bed every day dispite the fact that idk.. Your newborn baby is sick and you were up all night, or your puppy is not taking to house training very well and you're the only one at home to deal with it because your Hubs has training, or is deployed. You have to be okay with little or no communication for days, or weeks at a time. I love that while you want to support your man, that you recognize that you have very little experience with this lifestyle. For the record, I think that by taking the time to even ask these questions, you're taking a really positive step. I Like You very much!! Best of Luck and Welcome to the board again!!!!
OP, I read your post on NEY to learn a little more about your situation. It's pretty cool that you're a chem teacher. I originally went to college for that until I changed my major. That was off subject.
Since your BF has a masters is he planning on going officer or enlisted? With an MBA plus a public health degree I'd bet he could go health care admin officer. Don't quote me on that, though.
You already seem to be in an LDR. He is in SF and you're in LA correct? How do you deal with that now? That's a question I would ask myself. My MIL has been a great support for me as I learn how to be a military wife (she was an Army wife for 22 years). Perhaps your BF's mother can do the same for you. The ladies on here and on MN have also taught me a lot. I don't know about other ladies, but I wasn't born a military wife. I am learning how to be one. My motivation is that I love him and I am proud of him.
Best of luck with everything!
[QUOTE]@SamiJoeB: We're long distance about 10 months out of the year -- something that we handle by scheduling visits as often as we can and spending every spare moment of the day in some sort of communication (phone, e-mail, IM, etc.) with each other. If that was not possible...it'd be very, very hard. :) [/QUOTE]
I think you're right - in my experience, having a LDR is a lot like dealing with deployment except deployment sucks more, lol :-P But it's a good point - it sounds like you're already willing and able to do the long distance thing, and that says a lot about what you're capable of.
Like others have said, it's good to self reflect before you make such a big choice!